(Throwaway) I hope this doesn’t come across as promotional or anything because it’s not and I haven’t made any decisions yet. This is just an if because I don’t know what else to do. But for bg, since before my (22nb) partner and I (21f) have gotten together, they’ve been attending this private liberal arts college, and frankly, haven’t had the best time there. I’m not going into detail, but they’ve had a pretty rough time and at the very least they just wanted to get their degree and get out. They finished school after their fall semester was to walk in May, but, like these scammy ass institutions do, they dropped a major bomb on partner by giving them a bill of 3k at the very last minute and told them they couldn’t graduate if they didn’t pay it.
Now obviously, like most college students, my partner isn’t in the space to pay that kind of money off rip, and as many times as they have tried to appeal it, nothing has been let up. They can’t take out any private loans because they don’t have a guarantor, and none of their immediate family is in the space to be one for them. Now of course, I’m in no obligation to take it upon myself to help them, I know, but with everything that we’ve been through and gotten each other through, I love them so much that if I had that type of money I’d pay the stupid bill out of pocket my damn self. I know it’s not my battle to fight, but I hate seeing them like this—feeling hopeless and practically numb going through the motions of life. They deserve so much better than what they’ve been handed at that school—THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE GRADUATING AND STARTING THEIR MASTERS PROGRAM IN THE SUMMER FOR PETE’S SAKE! THATS HUGE!
It’s so messed up and I don’t wanna just sit here and watch them suffer when I know there’s gotta be SOMETHING that can be done! I’ve been thinking of starting a gofundme or something so money can be raised naturally, but I also know that my partner has the type of pride that doesn’t allow them to ask for help like that, especially not this public either. I don’t wanna do anything nuclear and I’m not sure if this is a nuclear decision, but something’s gotta happen. So WIBTA if I did something like that, and if so, is there anything I could do or at least look into that I could tell them about that would be a little more comfortable for them? I’m really really not trying to be a savior or anything and I don’t if this post comes off as selfish, I just want to know how to proceed if what I’m doing is wrong.
EDIT: I truly thank you guys for your feedback. I genuinely did NOT want to possibly do something extreme, especially if it’d end up hurting them more than helping them. The general consensus is that I should stay in my lane to avoid embarrassing them, or at least let them know before taking any big routes, and the last thing I want is to hurt them just because I felt the need to help them when they probably didn’t want that kind of help. Not that they wouldn’t be grateful if I did help them, and they’ve never made me feel bad for helping them out before, but something like this could be possibly overstepping a boundary. More than anything, I just wanted to know if there were better alternatives to alleviate the situation rather than going the greatest length. I know there’s something that can still be done, but for now I’ll pull back to avoid potentially hurting them.
EDIT EDIT: For context I didn’t give for confidentiality but ended up making shit vague, the partner goes to the school by scholarship, and the bill was for housing. I don’t know WHY it was made known this late but a bunch of comments were saying it didn’t make sense, but that’s what happened, that’s all I can say. And I DID end up talking to my partner about this and we’re cool. We will not be fundraising because it’s a bit much, but we’ll take things one step at a time in the meanwhile.