u/Ambitious-Lime-4665

Tonight is just one of those nights where the grief is heavy and I feel like I need to get things off my chest. August marked two years for our fertility journey and I’m feeling very discouraged.

When we initially started trying we got pregnant on the 2nd month. But I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks. I took three months to heal physically and emotionally and when we tried again I got pregnant immediately on the first cycle. But that ended in a chemical.

6 months went by before we saw another positive. But that pregnancy sadly ended at 7 weeks.

I began seeing a fertility specialist this past January and after blood tests and a hysteroscopy, I tested positive for chronic endometritis. I took a round of doxycycline then began 5 months of Letrozole (2 of those months paired with a trigger shot), ultrasounds to monitor follicles, and timed intercourse. Not one single positive.

Because we had no issues getting pregnant the first two times, I was sure that the 6 months it took to get pregnant the third time was because of the endometritis. So after the round of antibiotics and then monitored cycles where we could see my body was ovulating perfectly it wouldn’t take long at all. Yet here we are.

I’m stumped. Saddened. Feeling defective. Asking myself “What is wrong with me?”

For this current 6th cycle I decided to do no Letrozole and go natural because I desperately needed a break. We still did ultrasound monitoring and timed intercourse and everything looked perfect. And my doctor prescribed another round of doxycycline just in case the endometritis came back (I did not do a second hysteroscopy).

I’m suppose to test Friday and the wait is killing me. I had some light spotting today which is normal a few days leading up to my period, so I’m mentally preparing myself that I’m out again this cycle.

I don’t know what I’m searching for with this post except maybe solidarity? A success story? I guess a little bit of hope or encouragement.