u/Ambitious_D92

I just need to rant because this has been driving me up the wall.

Somehow, my mother-in-law has decided that I am the designated communicator for everyone.

She manages everything related to the household staff-hiring, their salaries, leave deductions, and all the decisions. But whenever there's an awkward conversation to be had, apparently that's my job.

She'll literally be standing next to the maid and instead of saying, "Please clean this," she'll turn to me and say, "Tell her to clean it." (It's not a language issue either)

If a maid makes a mistake? I have to point it out.

If leave needs to be deducted? I have to communicate it.

If she wants to let a servant go? She expects me to tell them, even though it's entirely her decision.

And it doesn't stop there.

Whenever we order vegetables over the phone, she'll ask me to make the call to the vendor. Then while I'm already talking to him, she'll keep feeding me instructions every few seconds:

"Tell him to send fresh vegetables."

"Tell him we want good quality only."

"Tell him not to send too much."

"Actually, ask if he has smaller ones."

"Tell him to send a little more."

"Tell him to delivery ASAP"

Instead of just talking to him herself, she uses me as a live relay.

Then there's my husband.

If she wants her son to pick something up on his way home, instead of calling or texting him herself, she'll come into my room and say, "Tell him to bring this."

Why??? am I the messenger? He's literally her son!

It's gotten to the point where I feel less like a family member and more like the household's communications department. I don't make most of these decisions, yet I'm expected to deliver every instruction, request, reminder, and awkward conversation.

I swear, if communication in this house had a flowchart, every arrow would point to me first.

I've been married for 3 years and live with my in-laws. They have had the same full-time servant for about 7–8 years. He is very good at his job and keeps the house extremely clean, but he has always had a rude personality.
When I first moved in, he was rude to me too. I was very upset and even suggested they let him go, but everyone in the family said, "That's just how he is, but he works well."
Over the years, he has become friendly with me, but he is still often rude to my mother-in-law. Recently, he got irritated because she was talking continuously while he was working in the kitchen and told her to leave the area. She got very upset and started crying.
I spoke to him and told him his behavior was wrong. Then I went back and tried to calm my MIL down by saying that she knows how he is and shouldn't let his behavior affect her so much.
My MIL then accused me and my husband of never standing up for her. Even after I explained that I had already spoken to him, she didn't believe me until I called my husband and the servant to confirm it.
Now she is giving the silent treatment to me and my husband, won't eat, and says nobody supports her. Interestingly, she is not upset with her younger son.
One piece of background that affects how I feel: a few years ago, when this servant was on leave, a replacement servant was caught peeking into my bathroom. I raised hell, but neither my husband nor my in-laws acted immediately. I had to call my father-in-law myself and insist the servant be removed. He was eventually asked to leave, but the incident was never discussed again. I still feel hurt and unheard about it.
So my question is:
Am I being insensitive by thinking that this current situation is partly the result of years of tolerating the servant's behavior? Or is it understandable that I'm struggling to sympathize when I didn't feel supported during a much more serious incident myself?