I need help.
Sorry for the potentially long post. I found out about my husband's addiction 2 years ago. Our sex life was not great. We had sex maybe once a week if I was lucky, and 90% of the time he could not stay hard. He blamed it on getting in his head and losing focus. I knew something was going on so I checked his search history and found SO much porn. I confronted him about it and he admitted he has an addiction. This was in January 2024. He had one relapse in March of 2024 and then a few questionable things after that. As far as I know, he hasn't watched porn in 2 years. I am struggling so hard still. My self esteem is shot. I notice how much sex and nudity are just everywhere on social media. I don't feel like the same person anymore. I constantly compare myself to these women he watched. My problem now is that every time I try to talk about anything relating to his porn addiction, he gets defensive and doesn't know why I'm still talking about it. Every time I ask a question about it, he just says "I don't know" I want to know why he didn't look at anyone that looks like me. Our sex life is better-ish but it's only about twice a week. I have such a hard time wrapping my head around why he could watch porn several days in a row but if I try to have sex two days in a row, he can't stay hard. He takes a bluechew most of the time when we have sex and I wonder why he needs that with me but had no trouble staying hard for pornstars. I have all these questions but no one to talk to about it. Do things get better?