u/An0nym0us05010

This is so embarrassing but I don't have a doctor to ask. I have vaginismus due to being raped as a kid and it now makes my life very hard. My partner and I used a lot of lube, a smaller strap, etc but I still ended up bleeding pretty bad and the next day it hurts so bad it's nearly impossible to walk or stand up for more than 5 minutes. Is this normal or should I be concerned? It hurt pretty bad during, too but I didn't say anything. How can I fix this and is there any way to treat the pain? I'm miserable rn