just what i wanted to see today when im already getting belligerently drunk and high and listening to punk bands to forget my dysphoria
and its literally staring right at me on the bar table and theres nowhere else to sit, guess this means I just need more alcohol
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Like I feel jealous that I will never feel that way but also I never eant to feel that way but also I'm voyueristically living those experiences by watching this and I can feel the eyes of the characters and the people who know I'm watching this into me as tbey view me as a freak and a loser and pathetic and creepy and should just rope ngl
No one will ever view me as a woman, but if I rep forever I'll just be forever bullied and alone as a feminine & pathetic looking man idek what to fucking do. I can't even die because I have too many dominos and lies set up that are impossible tk deconstruct and will inevitably get found out and ruin me in everyones mind