My brother in law's behavior keeps crossing lines and no one in the family will acknowledge it
I'm (28F) and recently married to my husband (35M). I've had a close relationship with his family, except for his brother, who is not great.
The brother is always rude to my husband. They run a family business together, and the brother is technically my husband's "boss." Even though his brother treats him poorly, my husband has always admired him. My BIL was engaged around the same time we were, but his engagement fell apart, he claims his ex-fiancée was "crazy."
Earlier this year, he asked to hang out. During that hangout, he mostly ranted about his ex, but as he got drunk, he started oversharing personal details he really shouldn't have been telling me. I cut the hangout short and went home. I told my husband about it, and he brushed it off, saying his brother is "usually just inappropriate" and not to take it seriously.
Fast forward, my BIL was hospitalized, and once he was better, we planned a lunch together while we were in town. On the day of the lunch, he and my husband got into a fight I didn't know about, so it ended up being just the two of us. During lunch, he was extremely inappropriate with the wait staff, constantly making comments that made everyone uncomfortable. I got so uncomfortable that I asked my maid of honor (who has a prior history with my BIL) to join us, since she worked in the building next door.
He then invited some friends who were nearby, and we ended up having drinks. As he got drunker, he started showing the wait staff and others at the table content on his phone that was completely inappropriate to share in that setting. He also kept trying to get me to look. That was the last time I agreed to hang out with him. I decided to fully cut him off after that.
Fast forward to yesterday. I met up with my husband and my BIL's cousin, who was in town for a concert. She told me my BIL had been acting very weird with her, making comments about her coming back to his place and saying he "didn't mind" that they were cousins. He'd also insisted on getting her an inappropriate gift and, in front of other people, made a comment about wanting proof she'd used it. I found this genuinely disturbing given that they're related.
I want to tell my husband and my SIL, but I'm conflicted because everyone in the family admires him so much. They're all aware he behaves inappropriately, but they write it off as "that's just who he is." The cousin doesn't want to come forward about what happened either.
Honestly, I'm just worried, for my nieces, and for any future kids my husband and I might have. I don't want this person anywhere near them.