Mom and sister found the drawer
16F if it matters, I was just about to head out for the store earlier and my mom stops me before I leave and tells me she found the bottom drawer, which is the drawer where I have been keeping my blades, some very bloody tissues, my scale, bandages. Now I’m just laying in bed crying because what the fuck am I supposed to say or do?! I haven’t done it in a few weeks, I’m doing okay. I have barely even been cutting for a year so i don’t feel even a little valid of getting help for it yet. And now she knows, both she and my sister. I feel so embarrassed. My life is good, throughout my school years I have experienced bullying but it was never that bad, my home life is okay too and I’m at a different school now anyway with a way better environment and I have better friends than ever… I just started sometime last year because it might have helped and have been doing it on and off since then. Now I don’t know what to fucking say or do. I asked her if I could go take a few minutes to calm down and she said okay, she was crying, and I’ve just been crying in my room for like half an hour now. I don’t want to be seen as mentally ill by my entire family, even if I am I don’t want everyone else to know. I’m so embarrassed I feel unwell, I wish today was just a really bad dream. I don’t want to really stop cutting either, its been there as like a “I feel really shitty, at least I can cut myself” and now it’s definitely not going to be like that anymore. She also found the scale, which I’ve been using to weigh myself because I’ve gotten really insecure about my body, I’ve always been, but it had gotten worse since like fall last year… I don’t know what to do or say, I want to lie but by the contents of the drawer there is literally nothing else it would be for other than self harm. I’m stressing out, I wish I could just sleep forever right now, I didn’t want anyone to know, and now everyone’s gonna know.