u/Angelique0908

Sorry to post so frequently here. But I just need to get this off my chest.

Trigger warning: Living child

I'm taking my 5yo son to swimming lessons, and today, as I was preparing him to leave, two ladies approached where I was to ask if they could sit there as I was leaving. I said yes, no problem. One of them was a granny, and she started asking how old my son is, his name, etc. And then comes the question that I hate "Is he your only one?" and I've learned to say yes, for short, as I don't want to talk about my loss to everyone. And then all of a sudden, she says: "Mommy is being lazy about having kids," like if she was talking to my son. I was shocked and so angry. I wanted to respond "Oh I'm not lazy it's just that my body doesn't work properly because I had another one but she died" I just didn't say anything because I didn't want my son to hear, he was right there. I just got up and left. I've been sad the whole day.

Today marks 6 months missing my baby girl. She died at 36 weeks in utero. Lately, it's been hard to accept that this is my reality, that the little girl that we spent months waiting and preparing for is not with us.

They say the first year of grief is the hardest. All I can think about is that I'm halfway through it and it has been so hard, and to think that I still have the same time left to go is even harder. Last year she was with us on my birthday, our anniversary, Christmas, and so many beautiful dates that she just made more beautiful and this year all we have left is sadness. Her name means "joy" but all I feel is an immense sadness inside.

More than wanting to have a daughter, all I wanted was to be her mom. I wanted to kiss her cheeks, cook for her, buy her bows, and do her hair. I wanted to talk to her about boys, play with her, and tell her how I met her dad. I wanted to go shopping with her, watch beauty pageants (guilty pleasure), watch romantic movies, and hug her.

I will never know the color of her eyes, if she had curly hair like me or straight hair like her dad, her personality, her favorite color, or her favorite Disney princess. I will never throw her a 15th birthday party, watch her graduate, or watch her get married.

I feel like I got robbed of the beautiful future we would have had. I miss you, my sweet girl, I'm sorry my body let you down because you were perfect 🦋

Hi. I've been taking Slynd for the past 3 months but this month I couldn't take it because of 3rd world problems (all of the drugstores of my city had run out of the pill) and now I am wondering when should I expect my period to arrive. My last placebo pill was July 27th, so how long does it usually take to get back my period? I still haven't found a new box but I want to start searching again and I want to be ready so I can start taking it again. Thanks.

Hi,

We lost our baby girl in February this year. We have a group of friends, we are 4 couples plus 2 other friends who aren't married. We have been friends for 15+ years and we all met at the university. 2 couples have 2 kids, and 1 couple has 3 kids. When we lost our daughter I spend 4 days in the hospital and all of them were there, they were of great support for my husband, for me not so much cause I said I didn't want to talk to anybody. After I came home, I insisted that I didn't want any texts or visits. They ocasionally texted me, and I know they're hurt by our loss too. We are all very close. We used to get together for birthdays or just to hang out for any excuse. They're still doing it, but we have declined their invitations, I don't feel in the mood for being happy around others. But what is bothering me is that during the first month after our loss, they were in touch, but as time went by, they all disappeared. I know they're waiting for us to feel better, but that is just impossible. One of them texted me saying that she hoped that we were calmer now. It's like they are waiting for us to make the move to start hanging out again, but I don't like that. I would love it if just one of them would come visit and just sit with me to cry. This just makes me feel so alone and like I don't want to talk to anybody again. Am I on the wrong? Why do I feel like our friends are just on the sideline waiting for us to get back on our feet and to be joyous again? They say they miss us, but they don't come here, they don't text, nothing.

Tw: Living child

Yesterday was my birthday, and I kept my phone off until 8pm. I turned it on and starting answering all of the birthday messages and all of them kept saying that God has wonderful things prepared for us, and that God will fulfill the desires of my heart and that I am a miracle for everything that I went through.

My daughter died, and it was my fault. She was perfect in every way, and my dumb body just wasn't working properly, and the doctor failed to notice it. I had high blood pressure, which led to a placental abruption, and I lost a lot of blood, and I almost died too.

The thing is that I feel so guilty. I get to have a birthday while my daughter doesn't. I feel guilty for surviving. Why am I a miracle while my daughter isn't?

Also, I have a 5yo son, and his pregnancy was very, very complicated, and he's a miracle too, he had IUGR.

I love babies and kids, and all I ever wanted was to have 3 or 4 kids. But I'm stuck on this useless body, and I don't feel like I have hopes anymore to have another baby. I'm 36 already. I feel so sad. I don't want miracles. I just want a regular, boring life.