AITA for ruining the family reunion by leaving after my husband threw my kid's phone in the lake?
(32f) here. My daughter Mia is 14, and my husband Dean's son Jaxon from his ex is 11. Blended family, mostly fine, except for the never-ending fairness Olympics. Dean doesn't let Jaxon have a phone yet, but Mia's had one since she was 12, so now Jaxon melts down every time she uses it and Dean keeps asking me to make Mia hand hers over for balance. I've said no every time she's 14, he's 11, that's not favoritism, that's just a two year age gap. Same story with curfew: Mia can be out till 9 with friends, Jaxon has to be in bed by 7:30, and instead of Dean just holding that line with his own son, he wants me to send Mia to her room too so Jaxon doesn't feel singled out. I HAVE compromised on things Mia used to skip family dinners to eat in her room, and once Jaxon moved in full time I ended that because it wasn't fair to him. But I'm not restructuring my daughter's whole life because an 11 year old throws a fit.
This past weekend blew everything up. Dean's parents rented a lake house for a big family reunion, and Saturday night everyone wanted a bonfire on the dock. Jaxon didn't want to wear his life vest near the water and started screaming that Mia should have to wear one too, even though she was just sitting by the fire on her phone. I told him no, calmly, and kept scrolling. Dean lost it, marched over, and instead of dealing with his own son, he snatched Mia's phone out of her hand and hurled it into the lake in front of his ENTIRE extended family, yelling there, now it's fair, nobody gets a phone! Mia burst into tears, his mom gasped, and I just grabbed my daughter and walked her back to the cabin while thirty relatives stood there in silence.
Dean followed us in about ten minutes later, furious that I humiliated him by leaving, insisting none of this would happen if I'd meet him halfway for once instead of favoring Mia and causing resentment between the kids. I told him a $400 phone at the bottom of a lake isn't fair, it's a tantrum with better aim, and that Jaxon's meltdowns are his to parent, not something I fix by punishing my kid. His mom already texted me saying I provoked him. AITA?