Me and my BF both have BPD and our relationship is a constant nightmare
We are arguing almost every other day, very intensely. I'm splitting often and even when I'm trying to regulate and use DBT skills, I'm still triggered so many times, and when I would regulate myself the first 10 times, the 11th time it will fail and there would be the biggest argument after.
We love each other a lot, we are each other's FP and we are attached and codependent. It can be the most beautiful intoxicating thing or the worst nightmare, depending on the hour.
How do we stop the arguments? We are spiraling into intense self hate during our arguments and there is no one to be sane or stable enough to hold both of us. And even when I'm trying to get myself together, he can't, and then I split again because me being stable is still really unstable.
I'm really really afraid we are ruining our relationship with these arguments and I'm scared to death we will break up because it will be too much.
TL;DR: Me and my bf (both BPD) cannot stop the constant arguments and its ruining our relationship and we are extremely exhausted. I don't know how to stop this cycle.