I (20M) was just dumped by my girlfriend (18F) of 6 months for seemingly no reason and she still has feelings for me. What am I supposed to do?
This is way longer than I thought I’d write so tldr at the bottom. So I’ve been dating this girl for a few months now, it’s my first relationship but not hers. We’ve been somewhat long distance which caused a bit of shakiness about three weeks ago but we got through it and I felt our relationship was going very well. I drove down this weekend and planned to spend all of Friday and Saturday with her while I spend Sunday with my mom for Mother’s Day. Friday went well, we hung out most of the day and she genuinely seemed really happy, she wanted to spend the night alone at her place but that didn’t really bother me since I knew I’d see her again.
Saturday was very strange. Everything was good at first, I went over around noon we spent a bit cuddling and watching YouTube and then we went to the store so she could get some stuff she needed. When we got back we ate, did one of her chores and then went back to her room to continue bed rotting.
So there we are sitting she’s leaning her head on my shoulder when suddenly she sits up, she’s not looking at me and has this blank look on her face which I know at this point means she’s severely upset. I try to get it out of her and eventually she says “op… I just don’t think I’m good for you”. Of course I reassure her. Over the next 30 minutes I listen to her, tell her that she’s enough, that she makes me happy. She says that she has this constant fear that the arguments we had a month ago would restart and she had this dread that we would inevitably end. I just continued comforting her, told her that it wouldn’t happen because I knew I could stop myself from getting to that point and I knew she could do the same. Eventually she seemed to believe me but said she needed some time alone, though she held me there for 10 minutes before I could actually leave. I sent her a voice memo and text basically just reaffirming everything I said and then went on with my day.
Two hours later she sent this
“Op you are so sweet and i just can't stop the feeling that im a bad person and i just can't help but feel like your heart will be better for anyone else. i don't think i deserve it from you. i know you say hes wrong but i feel like hes right about us. i'm sorry i love you but this can't work when i feel like im constantly going to hurt you”
And here’s where im not sure if i made it worse. I said I couldn’t accept it and I was coming over. When I got to her apartment she was waiting outside Ofcourse I was crying and trying to convince her and she was telling me she still loved me and holding me and letting me kiss her. Eventually she let me inside and I thought that she had atleast somewhat changed her mind. But looking at her I could tell that wasn’t the case. So I tried to convince her for another 20 minutes. We stood there both of us crying and holding onto each other but she wouldn’t budge. I finally left, realizing she wouldn’t accept anything I said but I kept sending messages. Some pleading some calling her out some trying to fix things idk I just wanted that connection. The problem was she kept saying she loved me, that she wouldn’t block me anywhere but she wouldn’t tell me what that meant. She said we could be together but she needed to think but then she said idk. I just can’t stand the lack of clarity. I almost wish things had just ended a month ago when I was angry and I thought she didn’t want me anymore. The last message I sent
“I feel like I’ve been immature and I’m sorry. It just hurts and I find it difficult to accept it especially when you say you still love me. But you know how I feel at this point. I’ll try to give you the space you want”
But anyway I just feel awful. What am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to just get over her? Am I supposed to wait? Why would she breakup with me when she’s scared well break up? Why leave things so ambiguous? I’m just so confused and nothing seems right. I know the relationship was short in the grand scheme of things but it was meaningful to me
TLDR: My girlfriend broke up with me because she was scared that we’d break up in the future but she kept things open enough that I’m confused where we stand.