Just a vent
I think I’m officially done with being in a hierarchy again, as well as being someone’s first poly experience
Trying to make time for somebody who has no capacity to give back or hasn’t figured out what they want out of poly is so draining.
Being at the same community event after a break-up where her primary can come with her for moral support whilst I go home alone is super emotionally confusing to process.
It’s hard processing this stuff as a secondary because I feel like in some way I shouldn’t even have feelings about it, or I should just fade into the background and never encroach my feelings onto the couple.
I know this is self-pitying, I just let myself get involved in a dynamic when I should have been more wary, just hurting and have no place to put it other than the internet.