Had a therapist from BetterHelp for a few months, then I ghosted her.
A few months ago I(28F) started therapy on BetterHelp. I was assigned a therapist, she was maybe in her late 40s. Really sweet, a little strict but I kind of needed that. Everything was going okay. We would just talk, but there were a few red flags from the beginning. She didn’t really ask me many questions, and would just kind of say “what do you want to talk about today” a lot of times she would be late to the meetings(and still cut off at the regular time we were supposed to end), and wouldn’t respond to messages for a long time. It wasn’t anything that was super concerning to me. But then the last few meetings really just bothered me. She would go make herself a coffee while I was talking, off screen. Yelling “I can hear you don’t worry keep going!” I felt it was unprofessional. About 1 month 1/2 ago I mentioned to her that I was trying to quit vaping. This led to her constantly asking me if I quit yet and if I told her I was having a hard time, she would tell me stories of people getting hospitalized or dying, saying how bad it was, etc. we would spend so much time talking about that when I didn’t even want to. The reason I started therapy was because of my anxiety and depression. Most of the time we barely talked about it. And I felt like she wasn’t really helping me. She just recommended I take Ashwaganda and 5-htp to make me feel better(I did start taking it, and it does help me a little bit but I feel like she thought that was the answer to everything) then because I was taking it she would be like “oh you’re like my only patient that actually listens to me”
What really was my breaking point was when I was talking about an issue I had with my husband where I just want him to be more understanding about what I say(we don’t have many issues, he’s just a very “one track mind” type of person where he doesn’t fully understand why certain things give me anxiety or make me overthink so we haven’t gotten past that barrier yet)
I mentioned how I would just like him to listen to me and understand and follow through with certain things that bother me(the example I told her was how our puppy got sick, and I explained to my husband that I didn’t like how he was riling her up so much because she needs to rest, but he didn’t see the problem with it because he felt like he wasn’t doing that and we had a disagreement about it because in my eyes, he was) that’s all I said to her, and I’ve never complained about my husband to her before. She said, and I quote “you can’t force him to do whatever you say, that makes you toxic” like what??? Just because I want him to be a little more aware of certain things he does makes me toxic? And she pretty much said that I should just let him do whatever he wants and how he wants it.
I don’t know, everything was just irritating me. I was going to message her to let her know that I would be switching, but then I just changed therapist and didn’t give it a second thought. She can’t message me and vise versa.