u/Anna_nico1e_sp1iff

I got sober when I was 22, relapsed after 3 years, stayed sober 8 more months then relapsed again this week. Today is day 1. I don’t recall a time when I felt this low even during addiction. I don’t feel like I’ll ever feel happy again. I’m so scared and pissed and sad. God feels so far away. I can’t stand the thought of going to my meetings and taking a 24hr chip. I want to crawl into a hole and live there.