suddenly t4t. lowkey still processing how to feel
i (ftm) have been out for years and pretty much done w my transition. when i started dating my fiancé we both identified as gay(ish) men. my fiancé and i both had prior experience w women in the bedroom but dont prefer to date women. i felt really at home calling myself gay since we are in a committed relationship.
my fiancé came out as mtf a few weeks ago. honestly not really a shock to me. i’ve had suspicions and tried to gently bring it up over the years but she wasn’t ready to admit it yet which is fine. i’m really proud of her tho! i went out and bought her some nice girly things and i’m enjoying watching her be her true self. i love her and nothing will change that.
however, i do feel a little lost. she’s still the same person but i feel like im kinda mourning our past relationship bc of dynamic change. i haven’t brought this up to her bc i don’t want her to feel like coming out was the wrong choice.
my role preference both in the bedroom and in the relationship is based off gender. i like being submissive/bottom towards men and dominant/top towards women. i don’t want to have a dead bedroom, and we’ve been working around it, but it’s not like it was.
i’ve also been getting kinda sad when i see mlm posts. not bc i wish my fiancé would change but bc that was my identity. that’s how i thought my life would be forever and now it’s not. she said i could keep calling myself/our relationship gay and keep up the mlm flag i have in our room but i fully see her as a woman and i feel that’s disrespectful. i am a binary man and she is a binary woman and that’s not gay.
idk what i even feel rn. yes i’m so happy and proud of her but i also feel just… blank??
is there anyone reading this that has been thru something similar? how did u work thru it?
*everything i typed is my feelings alone and we still plan on getting married and everyone loves each other very deeply (so pls don’t suggest couples therapy or breaking up)*