I (23F) need advice. My fiance (M25) has been too secretive over his phone recently
I (23F) have noticed that over the past few months, my now fiance (25M) has been really like protective over his phone recently. When we first got together, he always used to tell other people that if I ever wanted to look through my phone, he would gladly give it to me. But that stopped. He said it was because it’s habit and he just doesn’t like people on his phone, but he doesn’t even let me type in an address on his phone while he is driving.
The other night was my breaking point because I accidentally laid on his phone in bed and grabbed it from under me to give back. But before I grabbed it, he quickly swiped it away and put it behind him. I don’t really care about adult content unless it’s like stuff coming straight from people or onlyfans, because that feels more intimate versus regular adult site.
He recently got a new phone. So I signed into his old phone. I felt too paranoid and I had to know. I found dozens of explicit pictures and videos saved to his phone of random women. I don’t know if they’re women he knows or what. I also found some adult content Reddit pages he was on (I honestly don’t care that much about just being on the pages, though it still makes me slightly uneasy).
My biggest issue comes in with a few Reddit users he was sexting with. He also had some texts from someone he knew from middle or high school where he mentioned how the last time they really talked, he wanted to send her an explicit photo.
I already have self worth issues and this just made me feel horrible about myself. I don’t care if he self-pleasures, but it’s upsetting to me that it’s of other women that he is talking with or has talked to, not just random videos online. Especially when he occasionally turns me down or seems uninterested, because now I feel like it’s because I don’t look like them or there’s something wrong with me.
I know guys can be guys which is why I try to not care about regular adult content. I want to talk to him about this but I don’t know how to bring it up without feeling like I invaded his privacy. I knew he was hiding something and I kinda just want to bring it up as a “I know you’re hiding stuff from me and I want to know the truth” but I’m worried he’ll just lie. How do I bring this up to him properly?
Edit: I don’t want to break up with him, but I want to have an honest discussion about it. I really do love him but I don’t know how to go about bringing this up because it hurts me knowing he’s doing this.