We broke up a couple of days ago and we went no contact, I really miss him and I want him back and I want to text him all the time. I’m not blocked or anything and he did watch me story too on his private account. How do I win him back? What do I do?
And DO NOT say “give up”, “move on”. Thank you.
We’ve been together for 8 years.
First, I want to make something clear: I’m not one of those hyper-masculine “alpha male” types who think a woman is somehow “damaged” because she’s had multiple sexual partners. That’s not where I’m coming from at all.
Recently, my girlfriend brought up the idea of opening our relationship. At first, I tried to approach it with an open mind. But the more I imagined what that would actually look like, the worse I felt.
She pointed out that I would also be free to see other people, but I just don’t view relationships that way. My perspective is: if something is missing in the relationship, or certain needs aren’t being met, you work on those things together instead of looking elsewhere.
Because realistically—if I meet someone new and suddenly I have incredible sex with them, more shared interests, exciting conversations, and all that intense “new relationship energy”... what exactly is left of my primary relationship? Household routine? Bills? Minor arguments?
I’ve tried explaining that in long-term relationships, the initial spark naturally changes over time. It doesn’t necessarily die—it becomes something deeper: trust, understanding, stability, real partnership. But I don’t feel like she sees it the same way.
I know I can’t be everything for her. I’m a huge homebody. Most of my hobbies involve me sitting at home for hours. We actually have a good sex life—she’s told me that herself—so I don’t think this is really about sex. I think she’s looking for novelty, emotional intensity, movement, excitement.
But I genuinely don’t understand the appeal.
If the relationship feels that limiting or stale, why not just break up and be free to date other people without the emotional weight of coming home to a partner while imagining strangers being intimate with them?
Even if I agreed, there are other complications.
I’m introverted and pretty antisocial. I’m not really interested in random one-night stands. I need emotional connection to want intimacy, and I honestly don’t have the time or emotional bandwidth for full-on polyamory.
Also, let’s be realistic: I’m not unattractive, but I’m definitely not some Adonis either. I’ve never exactly had women lining up for me. I can easily imagine a scenario where she’s going on multiple dates a week and having a great time, while I maybe meet someone once a month if I’m lucky—which seems to be a pretty common story when men enthusiastically agree to open relationships without thinking through the reality.
To make things even more complicated, I have a pretty specific kink, which narrows my potential dating pool even further.
I’m struggling to fully explain what I’m feeling. I just feel like I’m standing at a weird crossroads and have no idea what to do.
I’ll also admit that part of this hurts my self-esteem. It makes me feel like I’m not enough.
And I don’t think my girlfriend understands that new people always get the polished version of someone. They get excitement, anticipation, mystery. They get time to miss each other and show up energized and interesting.
Meanwhile, I’m the tired guy coming home after a hard shift, playing video games just trying to squeeze one enjoyable thing out of the day. She’s tired too, playing some mobile game and watching some videos.
Maybe that’s just what long-term life looks like sometimes.
I’d really appreciate hearing from people who’ve actually been in this situation.
TL;DR: Me 'F/23' and him 'M/24' 7 year situationship almost I’m not saying he’s lying, but does anyone else deal with a partner constantly hinting that “people told them something” or vaguely accusing you of stuff without actually saying what happened?
Like yes, I know information can get back to him sometimes, and he pretty much already knows everything important anyway. But this has become a regular thing. He’ll randomly act weird, imply I did something, say people told him things, or accuse me vaguely — then refuse to explain because “it doesn’t matter” or “you’ll just lie.”
That’s what confuses me. If you truly think I did something and want honesty, why bring it up just to stay vague and create tension? It’s starting to feel less like communication and more like a tactic to get a reaction, start an argument, make me anxious, or get me to confess to something.
Am I overthinking this, or has anyone else dealt with this kind of behavior?
Hi, I am 18 (F) and I am in desperate need of advice. For context me and my bf who is also 18 have been in a long distance relationship for a year now. About a month and half ago I discovered through a friend that he has been texting multiple other girls and cheating on me. I did not argue or ask for an explanation I just sent him the chats , told him we are over and blocked him. This was my first ever relationship and we were close friends before he traveled and we became a thing so it was a very hard time for me. I could not eat or function properly it was also finals week and I could barely study and I risked failing my courses. Two weeks after I unblocked him, made all my accounts public and sure enough he started stalking my pages constantly and tried texting me about unrelated things in hopes I would reply to him yet always kept him on seen.
After I finally finished my semester and I was ready to continue healing without having to worry about any finals. He sends me a paragraph explaining why he did what he did and for some reason I replied back. I finally let out all of what I was feeling, I mostly kept arguing with him but one thing was clear it was the he wanted to take me back. I said no multiple times yet he was relentless and we kept texting almost daily after that. I know I should not have texted him but I was missing him dearly even after what he has done to me. I am always indecisive one day I tell him that we are done and the other I tell him I am not sure, yet he keeps insisting he always apologizes, says sweet things, asks about me, begs me to take him back, says he genuinely knows he fucked up and that there is no excuse for what he did but he is changed and does not ever want to become that person again, even after changing my mind a million times he stays, says he loves me and will wait for me for as long as it will take. He told me if I decide to leave him he will block me and just try to forget because I would hurt too much. The worst part of it is that I was so sure I wanted to leave him but now I do-not know what to do. I want to leave him forget what happened to me and move on yet part of me is scared I will come to regret it. The other part wants me to stay to try again but right now I do not love him the same anymore and I am scared to love him again get attached and then get my heart broken again. Some other part of me is also scared I wont find someone to love me the same way, I am also scared he is lying and what happened will repeat itself.
Yesterday when I tried to come to a decision I kept crying all day and couldn’t eat at all its like I am back to the day I found out. Please I know I am young and I will meet plenty of other people but I need some advice on what to do maybe from someone older or someone who went through something similar.
I 21M and My girlfriend 21F broke up with me because our relationship became too intense physically and emotionally. I don’t know what to do.
Me and my girlfriend have known each other since 11th grade. Later I went on to pursue Merchant Navy while she was preparing for NEET. We slowly became very close. One day she posted a snap looking stressed, so I recorded a comforting video for her and sent it. From there everything started growing naturally.
She used to stay awake late at night just to talk to me while I was doing my internship on ship. She became my comfort person and I became hers. Eventually I developed feelings for her and confessed. At first she didn’t accept it, but after around 2 months she said yes. She had a bad past, but I never judged her for anything.
Our relationship became really beautiful. I met her, got my first hug and first kiss from her. We loved each other deeply. But over time things became more intense romantically and physically. Even during calls and chats things became very intimate.
The problem is — she often said she felt uncomfortable with how intense things were getting. She wanted a more pure, patient kind of love, something simple and emotionally peaceful. She would tell me that we should control ourselves and not rush things. I agreed whenever she brought it up, but whenever we met in person we couldn’t really control ourselves. Even when we stayed together somewhere, things would happen with mutual consent and at that moment both of us would genuinely feel happy and connected.
Still, after some time she started feeling guilty about it. She said this wasn’t the kind of relationship she imagined for herself.
One incident affected us badly. During one stay, she asked me: “If your younger sister went somewhere alone with a guy like this, how would you feel?” I got angry and told her to leave. Then she asked me, “So when it’s your sister you feel protective, but what am I then?” That question hit me hard.
After that I started avoiding staying together physically because I wanted emotional clarity and closure, but she thought I was upset only because of physical intimacy issues.
A few months ago she told me she was losing interest in commitment and love itself. She said she felt scared that I was unknowingly pressuring her emotionally and physically. She told me:
“I came expecting a neat, genuine kind of love. But we rushed everything. Love should have patience.”
What hurts me is that I was genuinely loyal to her. I gave her so much effort, time, gifts, reassurance and love. She herself has told me many times that she felt safest with me, that all her stress disappeared when she was with me.
Recently we again slipped into dirty talks in chats. It wasn’t one-sided — both of us participated. But after that she broke down and said:
“I tried so hard to stop this, but we keep ending up in the same place. I can’t do this anymore.”
She said she feels like she broke promises she made to God, lost her dignity, and became someone she never wanted to be. I begged her for one more chance and told her we could fix things together, but she refused to continue.
Now I’m left feeling extreme guilt and confusion. I don’t even know if I was toxic, selfish, immature, or just deeply in love and emotionally attached.
Did I really ruin this relationship? Or were we both just emotionally overwhelmed and unable to set proper boundaries?
I genuinely loved her and still do. I don’t know how to process all this.
Hi everyone,
I am interested in this guy whos also interested in me. We r basically gf bf but its a little unstable because i dont know how many exes he has and i want to know. I know some people dont rlly care but i just want to know what his dating history/sexual partners history is like but he wont tell me. Does anyone know how to find out about a guy’s dating history/sexual partners history?
Thank you
I’m currently going through a divorce in California, and since both of us already agreed on the important decisions, I honestly assumed the process would be relatively straightforward.
Instead, I’ve been surprised by how many procedural steps are involved even when everything is cooperative.
Once I started looking through the court process, I realized it’s not just a single filing. There are multiple stages, financial disclosures, additional forms, timing requirements, and document exchanges that all need to be handled correctly and in the right sequence.
The situation itself is fairly simple, which is why we’ve been trying to handle things without going through a full attorney process. But even in a peaceful situation, the administrative side takes a lot more attention than I expected.
For people in California who handled an uncontested divorce on your own:
Did the process become easier once you understood the workflow?
What part required the most attention?
Did you feel comfortable managing the paperwork yourselves in the end?
Mostly just trying to make the process feel more manageable and avoid unnecessary complications along the way.
Hi everyone,
Im having a problem with my boyfriend. He knows my dating history but i don’t know his and he won’t tell me. He said that he initially had 3 exes when we were friends. Then he said he had none and he was lying. Now hes saying he has 1-2 for sure. And then he’s going back to 3. Then hes like no i have 20 sexual partners but only 3 exes. Then hes like im dating another girl too. And then he said everything was a joke but we are for life. Im rlly confused now. Like can anyone help me out or understand how many exes this guy actually has, or if its even worth being in relationship with someone this manuplative and toxic?
Thank you
Me: [27F] and mine boyfriend: [33M] have been dating for almost 4year. We allways talk about having kids and a big family. But I knew that I really don't want to have any children of my own. I don't know what to do. I love my boyfriend. He wants kids and a big family. And I don't want any of that. Should I let him go and find somebody who does? Or should I just have kids for him? So we can stay together? I told him 2 days ago, and he still thinking thing through
So basically, I (F22) have a boyfriend (M20).
A bit of background: I come from a relatively well-off, religious, and close-knit family. We’re very family-oriented and always have gatherings with relatives. My boyfriend, on the other hand, mostly only has his siblings around and they’ve struggled financially growing up.
We’ve been together for 20 months now.
During those 20 months, we’ve had a lot of petty fights. We’re also together almost all the time because we’re classmates and have the exact same schedule, so we’re always at school together or at my apartment. Because of that, I slowly lost most of my social life, but I learned to accept it since he was always there for me.
On normal days, he’s a good boyfriend. But during arguments, he tends to raise his voice, cuss, and say hurtful things. He’s also not very expressive. He rarely compliments me, while I’m the kind of person who likes words of affirmation regularly.
Another thing is finances. He usually doesn’t carry cash, so most of the time I pay first for our food and he transfers the money afterward. He also doesn’t have a car, so when we go out we usually take taxis/Ubers, which I also often end up paying for first. We split bills most of the time except on special occasions where he pays. Sometimes, I feel like I’m the one taking the more “provider” role in the relationship.
Recently, there’s this guy I ended up sitting beside in one of my classes. He’s a year older than I am. We talked a bit, and for some reason he stuck in my head. He was kind and funny. I found out that he came from a good background, but what stood out to me most was how good his relationship seemed to be with his family. He also seemed very responsible, provider-minded, and God-fearing.
He tried following me on Instagram multiple times, but I kept declining because I’m in a relationship. Still, I found myself thinking about him because I assumed he might like me, especially since I seemed to be the only girl in class he tried to follow.
Now I keep thinking about the “what ifs.”
What if the other guy can treat me better? What if this, what if that blabla…
So…
What would be the best thing to do in this situation?
TL;DR: I’ve been with my boyfriend for 20 months, but our relationship has issues with arguments, emotional fulfillment, and finances. Recently, I met another guy who seems to have qualities I value in a man, and now I can’t stop thinking about the “what ifs.” I feel guilty and conflicted and don’t know what the right thing to do is.
I dated aa gurl for 3 years but in the starting of the relationship she cheated me with her ex and ditched me for him but now she loves me and we are in aa healthy relation but is it fare for me ????
For context, I really want to do things for the first time with my boyfriend. I have never had penetration sex before but he has. I have been on the pill for a few years now but I know that pregnancy is still possible. I told him that | want to use condoms but he said he hates the way they feel and would rather just wait until I'm ready for unprotected sex (he's willing to just do other forms of sex to please each other). He also claims that on top of the birth control he's going to pull out.
I'm mostly just curious with how much I should trust birth control as a contraceptive, because it's not like I don't want to have sex with him. I do not want to have a baby as I'm still quite young.
My bf says him going to strip clubs, getting lap dances, or watching strippers at bachelor parties is normal and now him AND his dad are calling me a “weirdo” for not wanting him to do it. He says it’s “normal guy behavior” and that if him and his friends go to a strip club one day, getting dances from strippers wouldn’t be a big deal. The thing is, I told him during the FIRST WEEK of our relationship that I consider stuff like porn, sexual content, and lusting after other women disloyal. We’ve been together for 2 years and now both of his parents argue with me over my boundaries instead of respecting them. Am I actually being unreasonable here or are they just blatantly disrespecting my boundaries
(25M) and his girl best friend.
They’ve apparently been best friends since 6th grade, and he told me about her before we started dating a year ago. I was fine with it at first because I didn’t want to be controlling or insecure. But over time, things started happening that made me uncomfortable.
For example, I found out (by going through his phone, which I know wasn’t right) that he comments things on her Instagram like “it’s your world and we’re living in it 😍❤️” and sends her flowers on Valentine’s Day. His excuse was: “I send flowers to all the women in my life. I didn’t tell you because you would’ve gotten mad.” The problem is he still doesn’t see why that would bother me.
Now Memorial Day weekend is coming up. Last year we went to her lake house, and while we were there I found out from other people — not him or her — that there were girls there he had previously hooked up with. Nobody thought to tell me beforehand. He wants me to go back this year, but honestly I don’t want to.
Whenever I try to explain why I’m uncomfortable, he says things like “nothing will ever tear apart this friendship” and that I’m “going to have to like her one way or another because her and her family aren’t leaving his life.” He also says I secretly want him to cut her off, which isn’t true. I just feel disrespected and like my feelings don’t matter.
At one point I even said maybe they should just be together because their relationship feels so emotionally intense, and he got really mad at me.
I genuinely don’t know if I’m overreacting or if this is disrespectful behavior. I feel hopeless and don’t know what to do.
I recently asked my boyfriend for a shopping allowance. I rarely ask him for anything because he always provides for me when he feels the time is right. This time, the amount he offered was so small it would only cover a meal. I know it is his hard-earned money and I respect that, but now I am conflicted. Should I refuse it, or will that make me look ungrateful? Or should I just accept it? Note: He is financially stronger than me and even bought me a very expensive gift earlier this year.i am enjoying that gift and grateful for it.
is it realllly possible for you to be married and your partner literally never cheats on you, not physically, not even having a little thing with a co worker, flirting with other women. I really can’t imagine that NEVER happening through out the whole marriage till growing old together, is it possible for guys to be fully devoted to their wife without any sort of micro cheating? Texting other woman they fancy a little? Flirting a little with woman , Have sex but thinking about another woman,
The only thing I’ve accepted is we all will find other people attractive.
Just matters to me if they would ever engage in anyway?
my bf is a ‘22M’ feels some type of way everytime I, ‘22F,
‘, rant about other people. I was ranting about this girl I saw at the gym, her and her whole family were just very calculated towards me and I was just lowkey “hating” bc she got fat… she used to talk shit about me and I was telling my bf that it’s crazy that she got fat after basically bullying me in high school..her cousins and sister are basically just huge shit talkers and I really don’t fuck with them for many other reasons besides that. I was just ranting to my bf and he said “hating is bad for the soul”. To me that sounds like ur backing up the opposition. Like im literally just ranting and he doesent like it when i do that about people. I rarely do, im speaking out of emotion bc of the way they used to treat me and other ppl..and he says im doing too much. Am I valid for being angry at him about that?? He does it everytime. He always is looking for the good in other people meanwhile I already told him about how they used to make me feel…
i (22 f) have an ex (25 m) who is in a longterm relationship with someone, who i assumed he’d end marrying. she’s a good person, and i’ve never wished her ill will, just wished her luck in dating one of the worst men i’ve ever met. he had a history of being unfaithful and emotionally manipulative when we were dating. when we started dating i was 16 and he was almost 20. just to give a bit of context as to why he comes off as a generally creepy and douchey guy.
now he’s favoriting my tik toks, and only particular ones where i am maybe showing more skin, am in a swimsuit, have heavy makeup and am lip syncing, etc. old videos from when i was 17/18, and more recent ones. again, hes 25 now and we haven’t even spoken in over three years. do i send his girlfriend screenshots, or will i just come off as a bitter ex trying to start a fight? i believe she would deserve to know if he was still looking at me in some type of way, but maybe it would be better just to block?
My partner and I were on a break for a while and during that time something happened between them and their ex. I still don’t fully know what happened because they never told me. After we got back together, they casually mentioned that they’re friends with their ex now, and recently I found out there was more to the story.
The thing is… I don’t even know if I want to ask for the full truth because I know once I hear it, it’s going to change how I look at everything. Right now I’m stuck between feeling like I deserve honesty and feeling like ignorance might actually hurt less.
Part of me is upset that they kept it from me in the first place. Another part of me wonders if technically it shouldn’t matter because we were on a break. But it still feels weird because now this ex is still in their life as a “friend,” and I can’t tell if I’m overthinking or if my gut is trying to tell me something.
Would you want to know the full truth in this situation, even if it could damage the relationship? Or would you leave it alone if the relationship feels okay otherwise?
I have a problem with my boyfriend. We’ve been in a long-distance relationship for 6 months, and everything was okay until a few days ago when he told me that the relationship feels empty to him, that we don’t have much communication, and that sometimes it just doesn’t feel right to him.
Before he told me that, he was in my city and we spent time together. He didn’t seem like anything was bothering him at all, so I had no idea something was wrong.
It hurt me because I understood it as him being bored with me and not finding me interesting.
I feel good with him, and this relationship is completely different from what I experienced before. I really wouldn’t want to break up with him, and I would be very sad if that happened.
He told me he doesn’t want to break up, but I kind of doubt that and think he’s only saying it so I won’t feel bad.
I want to fix this and go back to normal, but I don’t know how. What should I do?