I ended my engagement and canceled our wedding
I (26f) have been with my (26m) fiance for almost 4 years and engaged for almost 2. Our relationship started out normal but hit a wall when I received the dreaded “hey girly” text one night at 3am on Valentine’s Day in the first year. We talked, he agreed not to make me look dumb and we moved on.
Fast forward we’re pregnant and I have our daughter, 2 days later he sits me down and asks me for a hall pass because he apparently can’t wait 6 weeks and says it’s better then cheating so he decided he’d just ask. I was devastated.. what was supposed to be the happiest moment of our life’s quickly turned into the worst time of my life.. a week after that we’ve obviously been arguing a lot because of it he got into a bad dirtbike accident while racing.. he couldn’t work and needed multiple surgeries for his hand and his shoulder. So after 2 weeks of maternity leave from a csection I had to go back to work as he was off. I took care of him my newborn and my (4m) son from my previous relationship all by myself. Bills added up I used my savings and I was really hoping this would turn things around maybe make him realize how good he had it and appreciate how I took care of him and handled everything..
He was off for almost a year.. he proposed! Things were good for a little while.. then he rolled his truck during one of our Michigan ice storms and hit someone as he spun out. He told me he had insurance that it was only 2 days lapsed and it was fine. I believed him. Then at his sisters wedding his ex mentioned how he cheated on her with me in front of the whole bridal party. I didn’t know and they all agreed she was with him the night before him and I hung out for the first time. I was obviously devastated..
Fast forward about a month ago he received papers being sued for $30,000 for the damaged done to the guys truck and it was stated he did not have insurance for 3 whole months prior to the accident. Another lie. We argued. Then he received an open ended lawsuit for the guys medical bills because he got hurt and the care was ongoing.. I have no clue how much it’s going to be..
he’s decided to file for bankruptcy.
So after all these years of lies and ignoring my feelings, not even letting me go to the gym alone, the cheating, the me paying for all of the bills while he buys 500$ cameras and kayaks and toys.. I’ve decided I was done and it was the last straw.
I told him everything he’s done and that has happened because of his inability to think about the wellbeing of his family or our future or even me has made me lose my love for him and that I didn’t want to get married. That night the cops ended up getting involved because he wouldn’t let me leave (thanks mom for coming in clutch) I tried for years to save our relationship after the cheating and his accident that I just am fed up emotionally and physically.. I’m so stressed I’m having heart issues even.. sorry for the long post I guess I needed to vent but he’s been “trying” only since I broke it off and crying and begging but I literally don’t feel any emotion about the situation. I feel bad of course because I went through that same heartbreak while I was in the relationship.. but I could care less and idk if that makes me a bad person.. am I doing the right thing? I feel like I am but he gets inside my head.. I love my children and I wish I could have made it work with him but I don’t think subjecting myself to a loveless relationship is the right move.. any advice?