u/Ancient_Security_434

My girlfriend wants me to contact my ex for proof that our relationship wasn’t meaningful or she’ll leave me
I’m 26M and the girl I’m seeing is 26F. We’ve been seeing each other for around 3 months this time, although we originally dated briefly before this.
Before her, I was in a long-distance relationship with someone who I only physically saw for about two weeks in total. We talked for around six months. She was my first love and I was genuinely hurt when it ended.
The problem is that when I met my current girlfriend, I wasn’t completely over my ex. I kept the relationship hidden and was vague about it because I wasn’t sure whether things with my current girlfriend would work out. We argued a lot and broke things off and got back together, so I kept putting off being completely honest about my past.
We eventually ended things after about two months.
Over the following six months, one of us would occasionally message the other, but nothing really came of it. Then at the beginning of June this year, I reached out to my current girlfriend again. Things were going really well until she saw my passport and noticed I had been somewhere at a certain point in time. She started asking questions and I finally told her everything.
She was understandably extremely upset. She feels that I was grieving my ex while I was with her and that she has always been in my ex’s shadow. She thinks I’m settling for her or that I don’t love her as much as I loved my ex.
I’ve apologised for lying and for hiding things. I understand why she has difficulty trusting me because I wasn’t honest with her. I’ve also repeatedly told her that what I feel for her isn’t about comparing her to my ex. I love her and I don’t want my ex back.
Looking back now, I don’t even think my previous relationship was as significant as it felt at the time. It was my first love and I was hurt when it ended, but we only physically spent two weeks together and the whole thing lasted around six months. I don’t think that relationship has any significance to me now.
There’s another thing that makes this worse. Before I started seeing my current girlfriend, I her long messages about how much the previous relationship had hurt me and how I wanted to be careful with my because I didn’t want either of us to get hurt. Looking back, I realise how bad that looks, even though I wasn’t trying to compare them.
My girlfriend now wants me to message my ex and ask her how significant our relationship actually was, then screenshot the conversation and show it to her as proof.
I really don’t want to do that. I think it’s strange to bring my ex into my current relationship, especially when she means nothing to me now. I also don’t think I should ask my ex to validate whether our relationship was meaningful just to reassure my girlfriend.
At the same time, I don’t want to lose my girlfriend. I know I caused this situation by hiding things and I accept responsibility for that. I want to rebuild her trust and show her that she’s the person I want to be with.
But I don’t know where the line is between reassuring her and being expected to constantly prove something about my past.
Am I being unreasonable by refusing to contact my ex? And what would you do in my position?

I (27M) have been thinking a lot about this girl (26F) i used to see at the end of last year. It was a short lived kind of intense relationship there were arguments and problems from both sides, me and her. She told me she was in love pretty early on I told her when it was too late.
I’m going to uni in 3 months it’s the same one that she goes to. I didn’t pick it solely because of her, it was the best I could do based on the options I had since my education is limited. However she is a factor in me picking this uni. I’m going there to focus on myself and get a degree and improve my life but part of me hopes by being in proximity it’ll spark a conversation or maybe result in us reconnecting and if it does amazing if not I’ll take it on the chin, focus on myself and move on with my life, keeping out of her way.
I wouldn’t be doing things like engineering encounters or anything like that just go with the hopes something naturally happens.
But Ive been thinking about her intensely a lot recently and feeling lovesick as the best way to describe it. I’m debating whether to message her or not as I feel like I’ll regret it if i don’t and get my feelings off my chest. Maybe she’ll meet someone or move away and I’ll spend the rest of my life regretful.
I’m just worried she ignores it or feels a type of way and then 3 months later she’ll see me at the same uni. It might not look good. The last thing I want to do is make her feel uncomfortable or upset. I want her to be happy at the end of the day. During between now and when it ended I drunkenly texted her before and a couple months later she did the same to me. The last conversation she recommended this uni but when I last messaged her she completely ignored me and we haven’t spoken since. A week later i randomly see her with a guy could be a date or a friend who knows.
Should I message her? Aren’t these the moments in life where you take the chance or risk being regretful forever? I’ve tried seeing other people but I just don’t click the same way I do with her.

Ask me any questions if you need me to clarify anything. Sorry for the really long post I’m new to posting things on Reddit.