u/PhoneChoice9525

My boyfriend (m27) is very nice to me (f24). Usually. When he drinks, however, he gets very… mean? Insecure? I’m not sure how to put it. But he always makes me cry every time because he says something that hurts my feelings.

He says that I date him because I feel bad for him, that imma leave him, that he’s a good boyfriend because he apologizes for arguments that he starts. Like he’s more-so trying to tell himself that he’s a good bf rather than me. I just happen to be there and it’s easy to put that insecurity on me. I used to be like “*no baby that’s not true*” but now I just say “*I’m ignoring you*” and scroll on my phone. And that response (any response I think) makes him be like “*see, I was right*”

It’s so weird because he’s never like that. He very loving and attentive. Yes, he has been honest about being insecure but it’s something he’s working on. That’s fine, we all have something. But it just gets so ugly when he drinks.

Around his friends, he’s so fun and loud. But with me, I feel like a villain for dating him! Idk if this is normal cuz I know being under the influence changes people. But I’m going to tell him that I’m not drinking with him anymore if he invites me regardless.

My (23F) boyfriend (27M) had invited me to the movies to watch the new spider man. Cool! I love Marvel. It was going to be a double-date with his Dad and Mom. Well, I guess his mom pulled out and his Dad decided to make it a boys night (him and his sons). Aww. I feel bad, disappointed, but fine. It was originally a family thing and I was a last minute invite. My bf told me he is so sorry, and that he will make it up to me.

Well…fast-forward hours later and brings it up again by saying “I want to be honest about something” and he said that he should’ve better communicated with me about that, right? Which is fine, but then he went on to say “you were always second choice. I wanted to watch it with my dad since that was the plan, you were just a backup” and that really hurt me.

Beforehand, I already said that although I’m a little upset, I know the plan was originally with his dad. So why would he feel the need to say something more and keep driving that point hours later?

And when I told him what he said hurt me, he defended it by saying “I’m just being honest. That’s all I can do, is be honest” my response was silence and getting out of the car (he was dropping me off home) and that’s it.

He’s always been very kind and caring. He’s also very careful with his words, but recently, he’s been careless. He even yells occasionally. Not often, but he does. He’s told me that I’m an understanding gf, but now I’m starting to feel like he’s taking advantage of that part of me.

I do plan on talking to him about it. I’m a very communicative person, but I do get quiet when I’m upset because I don’t wanna say the wrong thing. Imma give it time and hopefully he can understand that he can’t be unkind to me and hide behind the fact that it’s “honesty.”

My mom was someone who I considered my best friend. I told her everything, I’ve come to her for advice, I had encouraged her to leave my father after decades of abuse. We were there for each other when things got hard, but a year after the divorce, she has changed.

I think something I always tell myself is that my mom didn’t have freedom with my dad, and vice-versa. They both were insecure, controlling, manipulative, etc. So all this freedom has made her…act like a 20 year old to put nicely. Selfish in different words.

Her current boyfriend is a carbon copy of my father. Alcoholic, verbally abuse, on-and-off relationship. He got drunk one night and cussed me out during a 4th of July party. He was threatening me, and my mom had to hold him back so hard that she tore his shirt.

Now it’s been about 3 weeks and they’re back together. My mom said she’s going to get him help, and that he’s not gonna drink anymore, whatever. I stopped contacting her after she told me. I warned her too; I told her that if she takes him back, I won’t talk to her anymore.

He has already put his hands on her, already threatened me, already had my sisters see and hear the scene going on. This is a 4mo boyfriend 😭 why is my mom sacrificing all this for a guy like that!? You would think after 20+ years with my father she’d learn, but she ran right back to that type of man. I don’t understand.

But I haven’t contacted her. She’s been texting me almost everyday, but I can’t bring myself to do it. It does suck, but I think I need time. Idk how much, but I’m not gona rush it cuz I ‘feel bad’.

I feel like vets are useless. My kitten (~3mo) has had soft stool for about 1.5 weeks now (only using the litter half the time) and they don’t wanna test him for anything else except parasites. And when we did, lo and behold, he didn’t have any. When I mentioned the stool was still mushy, the vet said “oh well it’s not parasites” yeah no shit 😭

His behavior is perfectly normal other than shitting outside of his litter like twice a day, but I feel like vets do things one by one to drain more money outta you 😭 I was feeding him pumpkin puree and they said to stop even tho it was making his poop more solid.

I’m wondering if any of you guys had a similar incident and what you did to make the poop solid. I’m all ears.

(Truthfully, I did take him to a cheaper vet bc money is tight this month, but damn I didn’t think it’d be so much of a difference!)

I noticed that my kitten (3months) started continuously digging in the litter. Yes he still shits and pisses in it, but I think he’ll genuinely play in it too. I have the litter in a cat net (?) so it doesn’t get everywhere but he still finds a way somehow.

And yes I do play with him. I even take him to my mom house to play with the dogs there AND my boyfriend’s house to play with his cats. My roommates have cats and dogs that aren’t too fond of him, but they’re getting along now. He’s very social and cuddly and clingy but holy shit the litter is getting everywhere it’s pissing me off!

I scoop the litter everyday and refresh it about once every two weeks. Tbf, this did just start happening like 3 days ago so maybe it’s just something I need to figure out. And no I haven’t taken him to the vet but he has an appt in about a week

Did anybody else’s cat do this??