u/Annual_Barber_3070

Me (21 female) and my partner (22 female) recently broke up 3 weeks ago. My partner dumped me during a very stressful time in my life when I needed her. But context we’ve been together for over a year and I thought are relationship was going good only for this to happen. In the beginning of are relationship I didn’t know how to communicate properly due to how I was raised and vice versa. But we got through it until she got kicked out from her place. She had “family” but they didn’t help her during the situation so I had to help her and had her move in with me and my parents. Unfortunately when she moved in her family didn’t check up on her to see if she was ok which hurt her and stressed her out which caused her to smoke a lot. I also started to have problems when she moved in aswell seeing as my mental health started to decline very fast, and I had unresolved issues with my parent’s. I’m not proud of myself during that time and did things that didn’t help the situation a lot. But we made it work the best we could. Until we got kicked out my parents house (my parents didn’t really like her that much). We were both homeless for a few days and my partner complained through it all while I was dealing with my mental health and figuring out what to do. I took out loans from school to so we can get a place. But it took a long time for them to hit my account so i tried to end myself and got put into a mental hospital. While this was going on my parents aloud my partner to come back and stay but my dad said some messed up stuff to her. I find that out and im pissed off and I went and defended her. Then I find out that I was bipolar and had to take medication which explains why I was feeling the way I was in the beginning of are relationship. We move forward and I’m in therapy and taking medication and are relationship is going good until my partner started to talk about how she didn’t like that I was taking medication. So me being dumb I stop taking it (it was also making me feel weird and sometimes made my disorder worse)and stuff started to happen and we argued about a lot of stuff then she decided to brake up with me for a few days and move out and I completely broke down. But after a week we got back together and everything was good we didn’t really have any problems. But then we had another argument which led to are break up. We had problems when I would tell her how I feel about the things she says and dose to me and she takes it as a personal attack on her and she would defend herself and say those things never happened even though I would explain it out and after explaining it to her she’ll never apologize. But she would say she’ll do better but 2 days later she’ll do the same thing again. That’s how the “arguments” would continue and last. In the beginning we had a talk about effort and she said herself she wasn’t even trying and that she would now. We had that same conversation 4 times. It would also take me having to pry out of her what was going through her head and to communicate with me about things so I wouldn’t do the thing she didn’t like. Those were are arguments. But even thought we started to communicate better we got into another argument and she ended it she said I made her miserable and I was confused because I thought I was putting in the effort. She even admitted that she wasn’t communicating with me. So I did something I regret. I was having a very bad manic episode and wasn’t thinking about anything other than how fake everything seemed and how this wasn’t real. I asked for all my stuff back seeing as we’re not together anymore and she refused saying they were gifts and the law so I had to call the police to get it back. Because I felt disrespected because she blocked me and i couldn’t tell her when the phone bill was due seeing as we’re on the same plan she didn’t care and told me not to pay it but i couldn’t afford to not have my phone turned on. I tried talking to her about everything but all she would do is yell at me. So I got the police involved and got everything back i really didn’t even want the stuff back and I didn’t realize the warning signs when I’m about to have a manic episode. So I started to spiral more and she didn’t fully erase her phone so I did something I wasn’t proud of and went onto all of her accounts and started posting stupid stuff and texting random people. Immature things I would admit that I’m not proud of because I just wanted to talk to her and fix everything I’m not good at just dropping stuff and move on. After I did all of that when my manic episode started to slow down and I could think I gave back all of her accounts in fully deleted the phone. I know I was wrong for that and I fully know that I have my problems during the relationship, but I honestly kind of had a feeling that we could’ve talked this all the way out and we gonna be at the point we were because I was actively looking for places to help me with my mental health. I just wish I would’ve went at things differently. And I just wanted to know if I was the asshole because I really do want her back and I honestly don’t know what to do.