Everything is so loud. Why can’t I get out of this thought loop?
I feel constantly irritable and overwhelmed. I honestly just feel like a wet rag around my family and often get in my head about how much better they would be without me. I feel like a drain on society. No real friends. Ambition but not drive to finish anything. Starting things feel hard and too big in my head. Nothing ever seems to make me happy or bring me much joy. I live inside my head most of the time and feel okay with that…but also feel like I should be out into the world experiencing it. It all feels like SO MUCH. I work from home. My wife works from home. We have one in high school and 3 homeschooled kids. They are always so loud and all the noise just overstimulates me and causes me to want to be alone. I always want to be alone. I hate feeling like a drag on my family but I also hate constantly feeling overstimulated and like I can’t function. I dream of a dark room with no noise for weeks on end. As if I’d beg someone to lock me in there and just let me be. I don’t know how to get out of this cycle or feel better. Any ideas?