I’ve liked this guy for a very long time but ever since another guy came in my life, I developed deep feelings for him TOO because he won me over..
This guy, I’ll call him L, I’ve liked him for four or five years while he also liked me back because he made it obvious but we never made a move on each other besides be friends.
(context: this has been going on since 6th grade and we’re now becoming juniors but he was at a different school during 7-8th, came back freshman year)
So 8th grade going to freshman (summer break) I was invited to this group chat with a few friends and a guy, let’s call him B, I’ve seen hanging out with them and so we chatted, he wanted to chat alone and that’s were I guess we started talking, for the whole summer break because we couldn’t see each other due to being far from home. So fast forward freshman year, B moved schools for personal reasons but I see L around the school which I thought he was gone forever because of his absence of 7-8th yet weirdly enough I feel weird around him as I still had feelings. I tried brushing it off because it’s weird to like someone while dating someone. Fast forward again to sophomore, still sad B isn’t with me but I had first period with L, kinda awkward :7 through out first semester I tried to avoid him but I couldn’t help to take glances because I found him cute. We still bump in to each other during lunch and passing period so that’s one thing.
(let’s not get the wrong idea, I still find my boyfriend attractive and he’s a very nice guy that I still love very much, always being there for me through everything)
Fast forward to second semester, B isn’t still here because he can’t and that’s when I notice a drastic change in L’s behavior just like back in 6th. I found it really cute how he’s giving me this attention and I slowly started to have feelings again.
(More context: yes my boyfriend does hang out with me on weekends (not every weekend) he doesn’t ever leave me alone but just going to school without your lover can feel draining, it’s not that I’m losing feelings it’s just accepting that your lover isn’t gonna be in the same school as you)
I’ve told my most trusted friends about it and they said I’m probably polyamorous so I did my research and I guess it’s kinda what it is? L knows about B, B knows L as my friend but they don’t have feelings for each other, and that’s the thing. I tried being mature and not delusional about it but I can’t help it, I tell myself that I love my boyfriend but I also like L… it just punches me in the face how I like 2 boys that don’t really care for each other. I just want someone to tell me if it’s right or wrong or if I should tell my boyfriend about this..