Body image issues with MS
I (f30) have always had troubles accepting the way my body looks, long before I got diagnosed (which was over 10 years ago). I guess as a woman you’re just confronted with the topic sooner or later. I got my eating disorder somewhat under control and started to enjoy moving my body, but that dynamic changed when I got diagnosed with MS.
I still enjoy moving my body. I still enjoy going to the gym and going for a walk/run/hike. A while ago I started running at running events (mainly as a way to stay committed), but then I start comparing myself, comparing paces, rankings and looks. I see these beautiful, athletic people with no cellulite in sight (I’ve gained weight recently, and not fitting into pants has been really tough). And it sucks. It sucks having an ambitious mind in a limiting body. It sucks feeling like I’ll never be able to achieve anything … great in my life. Like this is the best it, or I’ll, ever be or get.
I’ve had enough issues with myself and especially my body image before the MS, but with MS I just don’t see how I’ll ever learn to fully accept myself and my „sick“ body.
Right now I am in therapy, I have been for a few years now, and I am trying my best to be grateful for what my body can (still) do and the antidepressants do help most of the time, but more days than not, I can’t bare looking at myself.
Maybe it was enough to leave the rant out here, but if you have any tips or experiences on how to tolerate your MS body, I’d appreciate it!