Why do I want people to feel guilty for hurting me?
I will take any and all insight or advice or personal stories about this. From anyone. Please, I'm trying to understand and be better. Read below for more context.
I'm so fucking sensitive. Especially when it comes to the people I'm closest too. Obviously, that's a big part of this shit. I like to think that I've overall healed a lot, but I've been getting really easily triggered by the guy I'm seeing. He's brutally honest about how I act, and I know I need to hear those things, but it hurts every time. He said sometimes he feels like he'd rather just lie to me because I get upset every time. He won't, but I get why he gets that feeling. It's draining to deal with. I don't do it on purpose, it just effects me a lot in the moment. And when he doesn't apologize (which he shouldn't have to) or be calming and comforting after "hurting" me, I want to subtly make him feel guilty for it. I try not to act on it, but sometimes I do. I don't know why I feel that way. Maybe just so I know he's not enjoying hurting me or just feeling apathetic? I feel so self centered around it too, because sometimes he'll also get upset at my upsetness, and I feel like it should only be about my hurt in that moment. I don't know.