u/Anonnyheynonnymouse

Edit, I have not used Reddit much and cannot figure out how to edit the headline. I do not know that he has dementia, I only suspect that he does. Additionally, please consider that dementia patients become emotionally, verbally, and eventually physically abusive to their caretakers and that I myself have mental and physical health conditions which make his mistreatment of me a life-threatening matter. His emotional abuse makes me want to die, and I have severe clinical depression. Please be kind. I have been very distressed by the degree of unkindness most people have displayed here in their responses to this post. They were kinder in the original post when they were discussing the matter of emotional abuse.​

Here is the original post describing some of his behaviors. This began on April 1 after he had thunderclap headaches, daily chest pains, and occasional hallucinations. His father died of dementia and his aunt has it. I read that some kinds of dementia run in families. I am frightened and I do not know if there is a Biblical basis for divorcing someone who is being emotionally abusive due to health problems.

https://www.reddit.com/r/emotionalabuse/comments/1tgg4k2/comment/omjmzzu/

I think that I am being emotionally abused by my husband, but I am not sure, and I wanted to hear from other people about this. I began a list tonight.

Today he implied that molestation (I was molested as a child) is not that big of a deal, especially as compared to some things that happened to him.
I felt so physically sick after he said that to me that I had to lay down for a while, and my plans for the day were wrecked. When I told him that I feel sick when we argue, he said something cricitical of me such as that I am being too negative.

We had separate bank accounts for the first few months of our marriage (which I think is wrong.) Now, anytime we argue or anytime he gets mad at me for not behaving or speaking as he wants me to, he threatens to separate our bank accounts again.

For the first few months of our marriage, we had separate bank accounts, and mine went negative a time or two because I was paying all of the bills for months and I was embarrassed to ask him for the money needed to pay things like our phone bills and car insurance.

I was afraid to ask for money for things like hair dye and face makeup.

He lies about things sometimes - important things such as when we were alone and he started saying we should stay with Nancy because she is sad that her kids are growing up and moving out. Then, when the 2 of us talked to Mom a few minutes later, he said that he did not say that. Why? I thought he had a stronger moral compass than that.

I feel anxious when I am around him.

Sometimes, he says no one would want to marry a woman like me because I am disabled, poor, and unsuccessful.

He becomes angry at me when I am having anxiety attacks.

If I give an opposing viewpoint to what he is saying, he says that I am being negative.
He says I am "always" being negative.

He wants me to work even though I have several mental and physical conditions which would make it severely difficult for me to do regular labor.

He only approves of me when I am acting, thinking, and behaving the way he thinks I should. He is only nice to me when I am acting, thinking, and behaving the way he thinks I should.

He asks to see my phone and asks me what I am doing on my phone. I do not have privacy. This frightens me, and I hate the feeling of lying to anyone.

He keeps on lecturing me even in the middle of anxiety attacks, even when I am pleading with him to stop and telling him that I am in the middle of an anxiety attack.

He seems to mainly see the bad in me.

He has told me several times that I am selfish. I do not know if I am or not. It hurt me a lot, because I try to be a nice person. "Selfish" is a mean word to use, though.

Almost every day (minimum of once or twice a week), he casually mentions leaving me or divorcing me or exiting the relationship in some way.

This is slowly devolving into an ever more abusive nightmare.

And yet ... I somehow still love him ... what is wrong with me?!?

He has good sides ... but I feel like he is changing rapidly - or am I just seeing him more clearly now? What should I do?

Sometimes, when he lectures me, I imagine that I am dying, I pray for death, and I hope to die.

He gets angry at me sometimes when I do not feel well enough for sex, and he will be manipulative and try to keep touching me to try to get me to want to have sex even after I have said that I am in too much pain or too tired for sex.
He kept saying that I was denying him sex one night after I told him that I did not feel well enough. He told me that he was going to Google what to do if your wife denied you sex, and the internet was saying he should cheat on me. He then said that I have no libido and that our marriage is loveless.