u/AnthonyBighorn

Hard to explain but I'll do my best.

After recovering from my vasectomy, I noticed two things that were different and I'm unsure if they are normal.

1. More often that not when I pee, when I am finishing going, I will feel micro spasms that feel almost like small orgasms. It doesn't hurt but it feels like a really small version of the "pump" from ejaculating. There have been times that what looks to be pre-cum would come out as well. Not much, but a clear liquid that had a slightly thicker consistency.

2. While having sex, it seems that I "leak" semen during having sex without having had an orgasms yet. It's not a lot, but enough to notice. Not just clear liquid, but an actual milky white, thicker semen. It doesn't seem to affect having an orgasm not too long after that, but that never happened prior to the vasectomy.

I don't think I'm in any danger or anything, but just curious if anyone else has had similar experiences post-op.

Thanks!

Background: I was married for 15 years to my "high school sweetheart". Got divorced. Met someone else who is the love of my life. Things are going really well. Getting married this fall.

In both of these relationships with very different women, the earlier parts of the relationship they are super in to you, they're horny, they express their attraction to you, they say and do things for your benefit. Then after a while, for whatever reason, it all just seems to fade. They still love you, and there is not necessarily a problem. But the expression of attraction stops, they become less interested in sex, they stop doing as many "things" for you.

I don't care if I sound arrogant, but I am a really good partner. I'm encouraging, I'm attentive, I don't have a temper and I'm really flexible. I make efforts daily to clean around the house, do laundry, etc. I also keep the wine glass full and do other things to make sure she is comfortable at all times. I pay more bills than I need to, and I make sure she always has the things she needs and wants. Lastly, to complete the puzzle, she cums at least twice before my dick even gets wet. I try really hard to ensure she is very satisfied in our sex life and she claims she is.

I've just reached a place where I feel unwanted. I know that she "wants" me and loves me, but if I was honest, I feel like I put more into the relationship than she does. That in no way, shape, or form, means that I don't want this relationship or that things are bad. I just wish that I felt pursued and wanted like I attempt to make her feel.

In my upbringing and circles, I was always told that if you treat a woman right, they will feel cared for and close to you, and therefore do things in return that will make you happy and feel good. Well, that hasn't been my experience.

It makes a great case for never entering an exclusive relationship. Why would I want to constantly scheme, try, and "beg" to get the attention I want when all I have to do is be a casual friend / hookup and get all the attention and affection that I need. I want to marry this girl, but from my limited experience, this just seems like an existential problem with women. The closer they get to you, and the more comfortable with you that they are, the less interested they are in showing you attention and affection.

I deserve to feel wanted.
I deserve to have my physical needs met.
I deserve to feel like somebody is chasing after me.

Not sure why women make this so hard.