This life is broken. My confidence shattered. The pain is searing and unrelenting. I am a stay at home dad of two young children. My wife is leaving us. Kids are to stay with me. Our apartment lease is ending. Only option is to get a job in 3 weeks or move to live with aging parents 5 hours away. Brutal. Sleepless. Hopeless. Heart and mind broken.
Today, I saw a man anxiously waiting for his wife to come out of the OT.
It was only a minor procedure, yet worry sat heavily in his eyes.
Today, I saw a man who never lets the world see him nervous.
A man who appears careless, overconfident, always smiling no matter how difficult life gets — growing uneasy with every passing minute while waiting for the woman he loves.
Today, I saw a man often driven by dominance and certainty become nothing more than a husband worried for his wife of 26 years.
Not because the operation was major, but because the thought of someone so soft and delicate going through pain unsettled him deeply.
Today, I saw a man silently saying through his eyes:
“You don’t have to carry this fear alone. I’m holding your hand through every situation life brings.”
Today, I saw a man who always wants control, who believes he must make every decision because he thinks he is always right, waiting helplessly outside that OT door.
He kept asking me, again and again,
“Don’t you think it’s taking longer than expected?”
Today, I saw a man who, in all these years, never expressed love in ways noticeable enough — keeping his eyes fixed on that door, waiting for a glimpse of his better half.
Today, I saw a man filled with pride and grandiosity, someone who cannot stand unsolicited advice or instructions, anxiously anticipating every footstep and asking every person coming out of the OT about his wife.
Today, I saw a man I would never choose as a partner for myself…
yet I saw a side of him that I would definitely want in the person I love.
That man is my father. ❤️
20m.
I’ve come to realize relationships aren’t a possibility for me and I really want to stop focusing my mind on them at all.
My friends invited me the movies. I would be 5th wheeling if I go. And I’m kinda feeling like shit because of it. I guess it’s envy.
I’m sick of feeling bad for myself for things I can’t achieve.
Hey guys, huge vent post here but I just have so much bottled up these days over all of this. I’ve quit therapy due to the cost, although it helped somewhat (in other areas of my life besides this).
Like the title says, I’m almost 31, a man, and have yet to even come close to losing my V card or forming any type of romantic relationship. I’ve been on the dating apps off/on for years. It’s always been the same fucking results - I make my account with newer photos, get a handful of likes, match with maybe a few of them, conversation dies before I’m even able to ask them out. Or I just get unmatched, ghosted, etc. And then my account just sits for the remainder, collecting dust. Most of my likes I get are from women quite literally the complete opposite of myself (lifestyle, bio). I know apps are horrible for men but god damn they have wrecked my self esteem.
Only been on three first dates and none of them went anywhere. Ever since I was around 27/28, it seems like my sex drive has shot through the roof. I am so tired of hearing men’s garbage ass “advice” when it comes to dating, and these “trust me bro” podcasters, essentially telling men to “forget women and focus on money bro, hit the gym bro, grow a beard bro. Women aren’t worth it these days, juice isn’t worth the squeeze hurr hurr. I got my dog and motorcycle and I’m so much happier.” Ugh. Fuck. So sick of folks essentially telling OTHER men to suppress it all.
I’ve never expected supermodels or any type of woman close to this, either. Just a normal woman that’s genuinely nice and preferably at least somewhat in shape. Tired of being told to “focus on yourself” when it always comes back every fucking time. I am so touch starved that I sleep with a fucking stuffed animal.
I’ve been putting myself out there more lately. Haven’t met anyone but I guess it provides a reasonable distraction so I’m not doomscrolling on the apps.
I know it sounds corny, but I wish I could find a woman that desires me, makes me feel sexy and wants to basically fuck my brains out on a routine basis. Of course, I want it to be mutual, but I just wish I could feel desired for once. Is that a pathetic way of thinking? Probably. But I know “focusing on money” hasn’t gotten me shit. I do just fine financially.
Actually matched with a woman on a dating app that made me feel this way for once - she was evidently in an “open” marriage but I’m pretty sure was actively cheating, as she unmatched me later in the day. I also think she was just bored, lonely and horny one day working from home..
My PMO consumption has gone through the roof lately. But I’m trying to work on lessening it because I’m only making this worse. I took a sleeping pill last night and tbh it probably made my mood way worse than usual.
I'm celebrating completing a test and a subject from university
I oddly like to read stories/books of financially unfortunate couples or members of a couple just to feel good about seeing someone who didn't have much get what they lovingly deserve
I'd love to share this with all of the characters from ones I've read haha
I don’t like to talk to people I know irl about my goings on in life, so I’ve come here to see how the people of the internet can help me feel better. At the end of last year, my aunt was admitted to the hospital because of her kidneys not working properly. My grandmother thinks she won’t last until the end of summer. Then my only living arrangement possible makes it so I have to put down my aggressive 9 year old dog I’ve had since he was 2 months old. And just yesterday my 94 y/o great grandfather was admitted to the hospital because he fell and broke some ribs, and the doctors say he may only have a few days left. On top of all that me and my girlfriend are ending our relationship. It’s hard to hold myself together, especially when I don’t make good money so I can’t do anything to even just get away and relax and hope it helps. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I still have to work everyday cause one missed shift could mean I don’t have the money for my bills, so I’m just exhausted and feel beaten down by life.
I’ve been wanting to give an update on Bentley and our family for the past month, but I held off for a few days after reading about Theo. His family deserved the space, love, and support from this group, and I didn’t want to take away from that in any way.
As another dad in the medically complex world, Theo’s story hit me hard. I have thought about him and his family a lot. It is impossible to read something like that and not hold your own child a little tighter. These kids fight harder than most people will ever understand, and the families behind them carry a weight that is hard to explain unless you live it.
As for Bentley, he is doing okay overall, but this past month has been a lot. After contracting adenovirus, he has still been dealing with some residual issues. He has needed increased oxygen, antibiotics for a trach infection, and increased breathing treatments to help keep him moving in the right direction. Even with all of that, he is still Bentley — wild, strong, stubborn, and full of personality. He keeps reminding us that even when things are scary, he is still fighting.
At the same time, our family got some really hard news. My mother-in-law was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma, and we found out it has metastasized into her lymph nodes. She is currently in the hospital and will need skilled nursing care. We are trying to get her moved closer to us so we can be more involved and make sure she is not going through this alone. We had to move her belongings into storage near us, and during that move, a table fell and injured my wife’s ankle and leg. She is now having to wear an assistive boot for stability while still trying to be a mom, wife, daughter, and caregiver through everything.
It feels like this past month has been one thing after another — Bentley’s oxygen and respiratory issues, my mother-in-law’s cancer diagnosis, hospital decisions, moving logistics, my wife getting hurt, and trying to keep our family steady through it all.
On top of that, I launched my own mobile detailing business after leaving the fire department to help supplement the income we lost and build something more stable for our family. It has been going well, and I’m thankful for every customer who has trusted us so far. I’m still learning how to market, gain clientele, and grow it the right way, but we are making progress one job at a time.
I won’t lie, this season has been exhausting. Some days it feels like we are just surviving the next appointment, the next phone call, the next setback, or the next thing that needs to be figured out. But we are still here. Bentley is still fighting. My wife is still pushing through. And we are still doing everything we can to take care of the people we love.
This group has been a place where I can talk about things that most people in everyday life don’t fully understand. Life with a medically complex child is beautiful, terrifying, exhausting, and humbling all at the same time.
Please continue to keep Theo’s family in your thoughts. And if you have a medically complex child at home, hug them a little tighter today.
Thank you to everyone who has continued to follow Bentley’s story, check in on us, pray for us, encourage us, or simply read these updates. It means more than you know.
I'm 16.
I want some advice regarding what I feel currently. I wrote a poem about it since poems speak louder to me.
I felt like a ghost in my own home
Without enough space to roam
my parents treat me like a robot
It makes me feel like I rot
I sit everyday all alone thinking
who can treat me like a king?
It's all fantasy, It's all unreal
My parents hurt me then ask "what's the big deal?"
I always say nothing, keep it to myself
feel my heart swelling, feel like an elf
tiny and small, lame and dull
even when my veins want to crack my skull
Why do my siblings get loved more?
I don't know the answer, It makes my throat sore
If those who made me disown me then who?
who may guide me and help me through?
I want myself to die and disappear
but that thought too brings me endless fear
Why this pain, why this torment?
are they trying to break me to fragments?
I just wanna feel loved and trusted
but that feels like a mission busted
Even my home feels sick, What should I do?
I hate this question, makes me wanna poo
Home is a bad place, can you believe?
For even in here, I'm called a thieve
I feel heartbroken and sad
is this world flawed or am I bad?
I hope this ends soon, the tears and the pain
At this point am I even sane?
A family that makes me question that
are they humans, or just a bunch of bats?
One day when I make a family
with children and a wife happily
I won't let my kids feel the same
for I felt what it's like to burn in the flame
I'm 19 at some mediocre highschool here in Romania.
Just been focusing on studying for the baccalaureate exam but I just can't keep up with the mess that is my classroom.
There are exactly 39 days left until the exam.
Today was white shirt day, basically everyone comes with a white shirt and a marker so we can share signatures on each other's shirts.
I'm just tired about the fact that I can't stand up for myself. I'm ashamed by the fact that I'm 6'5" and can't stand up for myself.
Some girl drew nipples on my shirt and a dick and ruined the entire shirt.
Math class comes around, I'm the only guy in class that is good at maths and only I offer to solve problems on the whiteboard at every math class.
The loud douchebag group sees this and instantly rocks my shit by drawing dicks and writing insults on my shirt while the teacher was in class.
Had to walk with that shit on me all the way home since that was the only shirt I had on.
I never done nothing to these guys, all I probably did was just come off as the weird guy that gets no girls in 9th grade and that stereotype never went away.
My entire mood is ruined and I just can't feel nothing else but shame.
Tried ignoring it by studying the entire afternoon but it doesn't help.
Mom said that memories are good and bad and it is what it is. Dad said that in 10 years from now I'll forget how these guys look and I'll forget mostly everything.
My parents are right, it's just that this completely demoralized me.
I don't want to go to school anymore but I just have to keep up with it, stick my head to the ground and keep working.
I'm not 100%. But I'm beginning to believe that I'm not ever going to have friends or family.
It's been difficult for me to articulate why as a kid I always hated that one television show Boy Meets World. But I have some words.
Because in Boy Meets World, the main character doesn't experience the kind of childhood trauma that I experienced.
He didn't have parents that went to prison before he started going to elementary school. He didn't become a ward of the state and placed into the foster care system. He didn't have to spend hours, days, being interviewed by strange adults who worked as social workers. He didn't cry wondering where his siblings were, where his parents were, where he was. He wasn't put into a foster family, with foster parents who abused him, psychologically tortured him. His parents weren't awarded custody of him again as a child only to completely annihilate any of his trust by abusing him once they had gained custody of him again. He didn't live in a part of town where police didn't arrive after a 911 call for a drive-by shooting. He didn't get raised by parents who would shout and hit him for petty things like not eating all of his food. He didn't get beat with a belt until he was crying for the rest of the night if he made bad grades or forgot to turn off the television before going to bed. He didn't have birthday parties get interrupted by a frequent borderline personality disorder episode of his mother's beating the shit out of him for asking why he didn't get the present he asked for instead of the hand me down from his older sister.
I know there was that one character who was his friend. That was supposed to be the "not everyone's life is perfect" stand-in PSA trope. Tit-for-tat though. That character had a lot of people protecting him, looking out for him. I didn't relate to him either.
Shows like that made me just have a hard time taking white people seriously. And by extension anyone that came from a functional family.
When I turned 18 I moved out. Unfortunately I didn't have the grades to move into college. But I had a friend who convinced their mom to let me live with them. Which worked out for awhile but eventually they kicked me out for smoking weed. Then I lived in my car.
I was homeless for what felt like forever. Cried a lot. Spent a lot of money on hotel rooms. I tried a few times to make a relationship with my parents on my terms but they were just too toxic. So I was alone.
Eventually I got in the rhythm of life but I always had to hide where I came from. What I came from. Fake it until you make it. And today I'm able to say I'm not homeless anymore. I haven't been for a few years now.
But I'm still poor. And being poor is very isolating.
I struggle to relate to people. I don't know if I ever will be able to relate to people. Because I have so much awareness that people only respect others who seemingly have money. When I was on the dating apps so many of the profiles I would come across would not even subtlety say things like, looking for a provider or man with a boat/house/car.
If that kid from Boy Meets World was not a fictional person, he'd be living his best life right now.
But me? I just don't think I'll ever know what living my best life will ever look like. Even if I was to finally have my fantasy come true and just find a bag of money abandoned in the woods somewhere. I don't think I'll ever be able to integrate into society because it's so painfully clear on the outside that who I am on the inside is not important to others. And I want to be loved. I'm capable of loving. But who could be capable of loving me with all that I've lived through?
And yet. I can't provide a damn thing for others. I buy used clothes from the flea. Shop at Aldi. Cook my own food. No greater education. No trade. Which I tried to get into. Community college and some trade stuff. But couldn't. So I'm just relying on these fucking restaurant jobs.
I come here to share my thoughts thinking someone else might relate. But I feel like no one does. I feel like Aladdin. Except there's never going to be a lamp, a genie, or a princess that loves me for me. I'm just going to be in that dilapidated room on the outskirts of town scratching and rummaging for scraps until I'm too old.
My wife and I have been involved in cuckolding for a few years now. It wasn't so much a fetish for me at first, but it was necessary for our marriage as I am unable to satisfy her needs completely and she loves me too much to leave me. Until now, things have been good. My wife has had dozens of lovers and a few long term boyfriends. It's a mutually beneficial arrangement - my wife has her fun, and I have learnt to enjoy watching her. I enjoy selecting them for her as I feel it helps me improve my own performance.
Until now, I've been good friends with all my wife's boyfriends. I'm not bi and my wife has admitted it would be a turn off for her to watch me service other men, so that's never happened. Usually they'd just meet me in my lunch hour at work and I'd grab us all a coffee or what have you.
A few months ago she met a man at a work function and by all accounts they hit it off immediately. At my wife's request I tend to give her space with new boyfriends, so last night was the first time I met this guy. I don't want to go into detail, but he forcefully penetrated me. My wife asked him to leave immediately. We sat and talked the whole night (mainly just me crying and her comforting me).
This is a breaking point for us. My wife has broken up with him and will be visiting him one last time this weekend to tell him never to contact us and not to lay a finger on me again. It looks like our cuckolding adventure has come to an end.
What should I do here? I don't know whether to call the police. I guess there's not much I can do. I just wanted to warn you all, there are some deranged people in our little community and they sometimes spoil it for the rest of us. Has anyone else had similar experiences?
Previous post:
https://www.reddit.com/r/GuyCry/s/54JOXZ041H
It’s not really an update but i want to say thanks to everyone in this community, especially Bentley’s dad. Everyone’s support and condolences have helped so much. Me and my wife have held each other close and had lots of support of family. Life’s not okay and it won’t be okay and that’s alright.
I wanted to share more about Theo and the light he has brought into the world. These pictures are what I want you all to remember about Theo. Everyone here saw the end and I wanted to share the beginning and middle.
Theodore was born at 27 weeks of gestation. We were told they don’t usually cry when they are born but Theo cried letting us know it’ll be all okay. He started smiling soon after. He was off oxygen about two months later but never figured out eating due to reflux and a genetic defect. Theo never stopped smiling. He left the Nicu with a g-tube but a week later he figured out how to eat lol. 😂
We got it removed a few months later since he never used it. We went on so many daily walks everywhere and he loved the outside. Theodore would stare at the trees and smile. He always tried to talk to anyone he met on these walks. He was so social.
When I was doing my Hw for college he would sit in my lap and try to type with me. Theo did his best with python but never fully figured it out 😆. We would play and read books with his ma. We read so many books together and he loved trying to flip the page to see what was next. It was so sweet. He was always laughing and being stubborn. He was so quick to learn crawling and pulling him self up.
He did start to struggle with eating again and we had to take him in to the ER. He got a ng tube to do his feeds and he kept smiling. He hated the tube up his nose and we felt bad every time we put it in. Theo kept chugging along happy as can be.
We started the hobbit and got through the first few chapters. Even if he didn’t understand he loved cuddling and being read too. Theo’s favorite song I would sing to him was bink’s sake. We would fall asleep together while I would sing that to him.
Theo is the sweetest little boy and I would like to remember him in that way. Me and his mama love him so much. He brought so much joy into this world and that is what I want him to be remembered by. He has helped me more than I could have ever helped him.
He is my beautiful baby Boy and that will never change. Hold your children close for me and tell them you love them. They are the most precious things in this life and the joy they bring is indescribable. I thought I knew what unconditional love is until I met Theodore. He truly is the epitome of love. Theodore left the world a more beautiful place. I love him so much and will miss him every day.
Thank you all for being here and listening to my rants. I love you all and would hug you all if I could. Thank you and Theodore thanks.
Welp, for those who have read my previous posts, I'm back! If you haven't, then that's fine since it's not so important now. Basically, I've been completely depressed for weeks now after being broken up with which is normal I guess. And recently I guess I was sorta getting a little bit out of the slumps? I still cry whenever I see her photo and every night when I go to sleep but at least now in the morning I can go a few hours without thinking about her. But of course nothing good ever lasts and I discover that she really just doesn't care about me now (it's a bit complicated but I'm sure). And yeah now I'm back to tearing myself apart. All the things we've gone through together, all the things we've done, all the things we've told each other and then boom break up bye bye!
I originally thought she cared about me, but now I'm not sure for how long she had been leading me on for. She's over me and that's a reality I'm not sure I'm ready to face. Just how do I get over this?
I've never had a friend in my life. I feel selfish for just wanting a friend. Am I selfish for just wanting a friend? I don't feel like I deserve a friend at all, I just want someone to talk to. Someone to hangout with, play games with, etc. How do I make a friend?
I've had an eating disorder for almost 2 years now, and it is ruining my life. It makes me feel super alone and invalid as a guy (I'm trans). if anyone else here has an ed, it would help a lot to hear your story or if you could share any tips/resources. How do you deal with the stigma of eating disorders being a "womens' issue"? how do you deal with the side effects? any reply appreciated.
Hi, I just did something for my girlfriend, who I live with. I’ve hurt her physically and by accident. I didn't want to really hit her, but she was teasing me and I said no multiple times. Then I couldn't take it anymore and lost control. I apologized right after for what I did and kept apologizing, also asking if we could talk so we could be okay. But things just escalated down the wrong path. I don’t know what to do anymore since she doesn't want to talk anymore and wants to break up.
I have been doing things wrong to her, and I think this was the breaking point of it. I’ve thought about letting her go so she won’t be so stressed anymore. But I don't want to let her go since I really love her and want to do better for the things that I have done, but I think I’ll just hurt her more emotionally if we continue the relationship.
(Any advice is okay, and I am also okay if you will criticize what I did)
Edit: Thank you, guys. I'll take to heart what you all have said. I won’t be locking this since I want to know more about what you guys have to say:) Thank you
Sadly, nothing will probably change at 27. I have no attractive features. I went to a hospital a while ago, and two women patients were judging my hairline and laughing about it. I've never had a girlfriend or a kiss. I don't have any attractive features that will ever catch a woman's eye. I get so jealous when I see attractive people on TikTok because I know they can find love and I can't.
Hi all -
I’m mostly just venting because I’m still having a tough time.
I (M34) found out a year ago that my (F32) had essentially a side (texting, sexting, nudes) relationship with an ex fling for 2 years. It started 5 years into our 8 year relationship. We were friends for 12 years before we got together so we knew each other pretty well, or so I thought maybe.
I don’t know what made me go through her iPad, but I found two years worth of messages. On top of that her best friend told me that she was physical with at least one guy and had a half dozen guys in her Snapchat.
Long story short, I called it out, broke up with her. She begged and pleaded for me to not leave her and she started it when we were going through a MASSIVE rough patch. I wasn’t the best to her in those times, I was mentally sinking and didn’t realize how “out of touch” with life I really was. She unfortunately never told me in this time she was unhappy.
We worked things out over the span of about five months. She was telling me everything I needed to hear, I felt like things were better than ever and I was actually thinking about our future (marriage and kids). I was trying to make some big life changes, including how I treated her, how I acted, as well as I cut hours at work for us to spend quality time together which is what she told me she wanted. About three months into being back together, she was acting distant and being glued to her phone. One night I asked her who she was talking to, She told me a coworker messaged her on Facebook and asked her a question. I obviously got shitty about it and she got weird ever since.
Lo and behold, on a random Friday, she was texting me all weird, then disappeared. I checked her location and found her a coworkers house. And then called out and she came home and came up with all these excuses as to why we weren’t meant to be, and we were polar opposites, and her parents will never let me marry her anyway.
I walked out that night, and gave her some space. The next morning the camera is at the house went off and she was leaving at 6:30 AM. She had shut her location off, so I drove past the coworkers’s house and her car was there, she was there all weekend. That was in October and they’ve been together ever since.
I’ve also come to find out that she was constantly telling people over the four years that she was cheating on me how unhappy she was, which sounds to me like she was using it as a back up plan in case she got caught.
6 months later and I’m still left here like I got flash banged. And honestly, it still hurts. I did eventually after reconciliation realize I felt she really was my “soulmate and person”. I’m assuming this is an insane trauma bond which is why I still can’t let go.
I’ve been owning my own side of it through this time as well…finding out I have high level ADHD (the “anger” version as my therapist says). I have also been realizing my own faults in the relationship and honestly that has been killing me inside as well.
I haven’t tried to contact her in 5 months but it still hurts - and I’m not sure what hurts more, what she did or grieving the girl that I thought I knew.
I dunno, people are weird.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading. This is purely a rant and venting but if you want to add anything, I’m open to support, specially on letting go and personal growth strategies. Thanks!
Edit 1:
- why did I take her back? Well, there were a few years I wasn’t the best, I treated her badly because I was under extreme stress because of my business; I was burned out and disassociated and wasn’t the best I could have been. I felt she deserved a second chance (as did I, I guess?). I also felt we were elementary school sweethearts, there was always chemistry between us and when we got together it felt “right”.