She has been seeking help her entire life. Been through the worst things imaginable. She deserves the peace and stability that she has never had. I have only one way to offer that to her. I hope she will use it to be happy despite all of my mistakes.
>This company hired 10 people to masturbate using AI companions as part of a monthlong “wellness” study.
>The results revealed that 61% masturbate at least once a week. 75% do it specifically to relieve stress or anxiety. Masturbation ranks third among every way adults unwind - ahead of alcohol, ahead of sex, at double the rate of meditation.
>Across 134 sessions, masturbation relieved stress by 25%.
"Put yourself out there" "Just be confident bro" "No wonder you are single all your life if you keep on failing" "Just do hobbies". "It might happen when you least expect it"
This is the types of advice I've had since I was 21. Well intended people trying to help a woefully inexperienced guy that has never had a relationship only for me to carry out the advice over several years to no avail. Even after "self care breaks" before trying things - I'm still in the same position if I did absolutely nothing and sat on my ass.
No person is entitled to or deserves a relationship but I also get tired of putting so much effort for nothing and feelings of loneliness. I am in my mid 30s and I feel exasperated because on one side people say to me don't look desperate while on the other side people say I will remain alone if I don't do anything. I am tired and exasperated. I've taken so many breaks that I just don't want to take any more temporary ones because it is just rinse and repeat.
It is just very overwhelming and dejecting to still be lonely and unloved at my ages after decades of rejection after trying my best.
I spent my teenage years completely alone with no friends. I never went to a party, never traveled with anyone, never hung out, and never got to go on outings. Most of my time was spent stuck between the four walls of my room scrolling through the internet.
From ages 18 to 22, my situation didn't change much. While other people at that age were starting their college life, making tons of new friends, having fun, living through a loud and exciting phase, becoming almost completely independent from their parents, and really discovering who they are, I was stuck in the same place.
I ended up starting college late, after people my age had already graduated. It was a simple school with barely any events or campus life, and the same isolation from my teens just kept going.
Now I am in my mid twenties and I feel deep grief over missing out on that whole chapter of my life. How do I accept this and move on with my life?
Hey guys. I’ve never made my own post on Reddit before but this year has genuinely been horrible for me, and I guess I need somewhere to go where I can be vulnerable and people will actually get it. There’s a lot so I understand if you scroll past.
I’m struggling to remain convinced of my own worth after this girl I loved more than anything (still live with now but our lease ends soon) could just decide she doesn’t want to choose me or us anymore. I’m in this boat where she said “I’ll be back when I’m better” but then we spoke recently and she said to try not to think about it for now cuz she doesn’t know if her future self will want this or not. Meanwhile I’ve spent the whole year heartbroken and wanting to fix things. I broke up with her after 4 years because of a cheating incident I couldn’t move past and some things that made me feel emotionally unsafe, and still love her but needed time to heal unapologetically so we could restart with a better foundation (something I regret now because it didn’t take long for me to walk back on that decision).
A couple months after the breakup I was out alone one night just praying for clarity and feeling emotional but hoping she’d end up wanting us again at some point, and I came home to her blacked out on the couch making out with a friend of hers (her friend was a girl thank God but my ex has also always been straight so yeah). Wasn’t acknowledged at all. Left to my bedroom to process it and heard moaning, eventually walked out and saw them on the kitchen floor making out and she looked up at me and smiled saying she was having fun. I kicked her friend out and she left with her. Had to tell her the next day everything that happened since she remembered none of it. We were broken up for 2 months prior to this so technically it wasn’t cheating I guess but it felt like it. She was blacked out during the cheating incident from years ago too but I wasn’t there, so it shook me to the core to see the very thing I was struggling to move past happen right in front of me as if I never mattered. I don’t know. This has been hard and as a man I feel so weak for even typing all this out on Reddit but my sense of self has been completely gone and I don’t know how to accept that someone who used to be my best friend and that I still have wanted to choose after everything, won’t choose me anymore (apparently due to not wanting to live in shame and not feeling romantic anymore). Yet here I am still checking in on how she’s doing from time to time, bought her something meaningful for her bday, and doing a lot of out-of-character things on my own time to cope with the grief I feel from all of it when I never wanted any of this, and I just feel like a fool who’s concept of self-respect has completely changed. Because how can I be worth something if someone who received all of me for 4+ years, my unconditional love, perseverance, my forgiveness, my loyalty, honesty, dedication, vulnerability, trust; we used to talk about marriage and kids, and moved in together after 3 years (we’re both 24 right now). All of that to still not be chosen and end up disrespected and discarded. I’m not here to victimize myself but I’m in pain and can’t seem to find a way out or a way to accept this reality and it’s taken me to a dark place.
It prolly sounds dumb but I still see the good in her despite it all, because I know her enough to know she has trauma from her dad that she allowed to bleed into our relationship. All this to say though, intellectually I know I’m worth something but I can’t seem to feel it anymore. So yeah. Sorry if this was a lot to read but I appreciate whoever responds.
Wish my life had gone differently so bad...
I'm at work as this all hits so I apologize for formatting. I'm not sure how to process this and I'm trying to not breakdown.
The same Mom who has never made an effort to visit me, no matter where I've lived, but has never had an issue visiting her biological kids.
The same Mom who used to hit me with a closed fist when I was a child because "she loves me."
The same Mom who always reminded me I was an obligation by telling me, "I promised your Dad I'd take care of you."
The same Mom who said she should have given me back to my biological family when she found out I was self-harming.
The same Mom who, when I asked if she was proud of me, responded by saying, "You've never given me anything to be proud of" when I was in high school.
The same Mom who told me I didn't have cancer after I spoke to three surgeons and an oncologist.
The same Mom who didn't show up for my surgery to remove my cancer, who I later told I was cancer-free, and who had the nerve to ask, "Did you really have cancer?"
The same Mom who reaches out four months later to ask how I'm doing, but when I answer, says, "Hang in there! You know I love you."
She loves me, right?
Male, 23. I feel depressed and angry. I've only been in the gym for 11 months, and I'm 23, meaning by the time my physique looks good, I'll be old and look like shit. My looks will be gone, and how I look right now doesn't get me women or opportunities. By the time I think I will look good, it won't matter cause I will look like shit either way.
I'm a slim guy right now, and it's just hell. I go to the gym 5 times a week, just so you all know, and I have felt in my life that I'm always behind. I try things in my life hoping for a better experience, and it just gets worse. I'm not asking for a quick fix I know it may sound like it. I'm aware how long it will take to look good physique-wise, but honestly, I don't even see the point or the gratitude when I get there. I will look like shit, so who cares to kinda live after that? That's my only goal in life; I don't have anything meaningful, really.
I sound like a little bitch, but I don't care. I'm just kinda done with things not really working out for me. Sometimes it's like life has me as a humiliation ritual, you know? Like I need a win, but really, is it even worth it to keep going in my life? I just see down the road what it's going to be and what it's going to be this year.
I mean, I have tried to get a GF, and women tend to brush me off. My guess is my body build, my height, or my face. I have a good personality (I know it doesn't show here, but I'm really just expressing some of my big thoughts), since I used to be friends with a lot of women and they liked being around me because I could make them laugh. I have reached for opportunities in my life, but I end up not being enough and someone better just takes it. I'm done trying to be positive towards those things it makes me feel stupid.
Hi everyone.
Just wanted to share something as a male DV victim. The person I once loved strangled me when I called 911. I felt myself go. And I couldn't hit her at all. I was just unable to. I had to lie there feeling like she was taking my life away.
Later, former mutual friends who heard about it called me a "pussy" for not fighting back, for not being able to hit the person I loved, even as she was trying to take my life away.
I hate how this society treats submissive men like disposable trash. Like if someone abuses you, you're expected to outmatch their violence
Sorry that I can't hit the people I love
Sorry that when people hit me, I cry and beg them to stop
Sorry that you say men need to stop being toxic but when they're abused, you tell them that they should have been stronger than their abuser
Just wanted to let it out
It feels good to let it out
Don't worry I'm safe now
But I will never forget being strangled, and then being told it was somehow my fault because I didn't fight back
I am a little nervous for posting this, because I see when other people do it doesnt end very well, but to preface I am not MRA or incel adjacent, manosphere, or any of that, i consider myself a femenist even if I am bothered by a lot of self proclaimed femenists.
Everytime misandry is brought up, its always said that it either doesnt exist or its only online or its not important or if men bring it up they are just whining or trying to derail women. This just reinforces the patriarchal standard that men shouldn't talk about their emotions or shouldnt talk about what bothers them, but whatever.
During college most of my friends were women, but almost every single one of them has made some kind of negative remark about men as a whole, sometimes they will say something like "oh well your one of the good ones" gee thanks. 🙄 of course I bite my tounge and dont say anything because "thats how you be a good ally". my sister says things like "I like making men mad" or "men are useless" or similar things even though shes dating a man.
One of my closest friend's disclosed to me that she went through the wallet of a man who she was dating to look at his ID to make sure he was who he said he was. This time I did tell her that was wierd and a violation of his privacy and she started crying so I had to start comforting and reassuring her.
Even a few months ago I was complaining to my therapist, I was trying to move out of my parents house at the time, and I was lamenting how it seemed like every person on the website I was using to find roommates was a woman which I dont mind,Ive had women roommates before, but I was pretty confident that the reason none of them were returning my messages was because I am a man, and she said something along the lines of "well there's a reason men choose the bear." I got pissed. She did apologize, but it still sits with me that she was comfortable enough to compare the entire gender of one of her clients to animals. Its frankly insulting.
Then online I feel like I cant go into any sort of lefty adjacent especially femenist spaces without running into people being misandrist and then other people saying that the misandrists dont exists. I know that here is a lot of rage bait and bot accounts, but a lot of them are also real people and their ideas influence people in the real world. And there isnt a good way to push back without being dogpiled or invalidated in someway. And people are so insistent it doesn't exists it's so infuriating.
My 28th birthday is coming up and i am feeling really down on how little i have achieved in my life. I was an ugly loser in my youth so i was excluded out of all the fun in high school and college. Best i could be was the "supportive friend" people come to when they need something. I worked hard to improve my looks but i was doing it trial and error so it only produced results very recently. The few relationships i had were abusive and i'm still a virgin. On top of that i graduated a very weak field, can't land a decent job and have been working for 3 years as a low wage security guard and live with my mother. Recently i tried volounteering at an NGO, get experience and rebrand into marketing but so far this is going nowhere. I only got to do some sample facebook posts that i sent to the boss and that's it. I'm just so fucking miserable and hopeless. I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know if i even want to do anything with myself. I can't cope with missing out on the carefree youth and that at this age it's just career building and serious relationships. And i'm not even very successful at that. Whenever i was bullied or humiliated i fantasised about "showing them all one day" when i'm rich and famous. But at this point the only thing i can hope for is maybe a steady job and that's a big maybe
I'm 31 now. I've always felt alone and I don't know what else to say. I'm just alone and I feel like I'm getting older now and I don't know if I can take this anymore. Life has destroyed me and I feel like I've given up on ever trying to feel better.
I’m 30, male, from the UK, and sometimes I feel like I’ve already ticked off most of the bucket list.
I’ve lived. I’ve travelled to the countries I wanted to see. I’ve been engaged, married and divorced. I’ve had a child. I’ve had the dream job, amazing friends and a roof over my head.
And then, somehow, I lost it all.
A lot of it was because of my own stupidity and mistakes, which I won’t go into on here. But I’ve come through it. I’m still here. I’ve got very little left, but I still have hope — and something inside me keeps telling me to carry on, even when I don’t know what that something is.
I guess I’m writing this for two reasons.
Firstly, because if there’s somebody out there feeling the same way, I want you to know that you are not alone. You might feel like everything you had is gone, but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing left to live for.
And secondly, if you’re somebody who wants to believe in me, please reach out. You probably won’t realise just how much it would mean to me right now.
Lots of love to you all.
Let’s keep on swimming. 🩵
Con x
This post will be fairly long, I don’t know how to tag the original etc but most of the information will be covered in this as a sort of summary.
I came on here about a week ago asking advice on how to deal with my girlfriend saying that she doesn’t view me in a romantic way anymore in a healthy way. Many people gave great helpful feedback but as usual there were many extremists that decided they need to spew garbage. Thank you to everyone that chipped in though. This post didn’t necessarily need an update but I am currently sat alone in my hotel room and wanted to talk a bit about how I feel so I decided to update anyone who cared.
Firstly before I start the following information is not bashing her, it is just my perspective on things, I know that a relationship is a two way street. We are both 16 and it is our first relationship so we didn’t really know what we were doing. I was pretty miserable at times because I was her last option in pretty much every scenario and I liked her so much that it really affected me. Her friends would know everything, she would talk to them and not talk with me including hanging out with them over me even when we were making plans. Her friends kind of made jokes about me and crossed me out of photos, and when I asked her about it she said she couldn’t control them. She would only ever ask me to hang out in group settings and would always try to do ‘stuff’ with me that I don’t enjoy. I don’t enjoy holding hands or hugs or making out or sexual things etc, but I tried to do it to make her happy. We would never call because she was busy but wasn’t too busy for her friends. I felt unwanted I was miserable. I tried to talk to her about my feelings but she always saw it as me coming at her and got angry at me so I stopped and the same things I brought up was why we broke up. When we broke up I felt sad but then it wore off in about a day, I haven’t even cried about it.
I took some commenters advice and decided to spend more time with friends. I did a poker night at one friends house with a few others and we played monopoly also and I went on two 3 hour cycles across the countryside with another buddy and it definitely helped get my mind off of things. Thanks for the advice. Anyway getting back to the more interesting part.
Against my better judgement I decided to text her basically cleaning everything and just saying everything I hadn’t coming up to the break up. I did not mention that I hated how she treated me because I felt that would just worsen it so I left it at this:
‘I have been doing alot of reflecting since you told me how you felt and I feel I have come to a conclusion after talking it over with some people. When you told me how you felt I thought I was very upset but I was actually just kind of insulted but then I thought about it and realised there are plenty of people I know that I find perfectly pleasant and like and am not romantically interested in. Secondly I realised that this was the decision that needed to be made because it was what I should have done, I was incredibly miserable in the relationship but I just thought that thats how it is supposed to be but it is not and lets be real you probably felt similarly. I think you are amazing, you are funny, smart, ,athletic, you stand up for what you believe in and you are beautiful but I only liked the idea of dating you, I had a crush but after a while I realised it was only a crush and I couldn’t see myself in a long term relationship with you as a ‘friend’, even though I tried to treat you as best I could. I acted pretty immature today but I was feeling very sick and hadn’t ate anything since the açai bowl. I don’t know if you will read this but I wanted to say it because you deserve to hear it.’
She just replied with: ‘Alright’
I left it at that as I knew by now that it was officially over and there was no saving it and even if we could get back together it would never be the same.
Anyway, since then I have been removed or blocked on everything and I don’t think we will be “friends” like she initially proposed. I am quite hurt that she removed me from everything seeing as we are still teammates but I understand she is probably hurt and is coping right now and I wish her the best and I will keep my distance until she gets over it but she may never and that is alright. I think it closes off that chapter of my life and I am currently enjoying my time on holidays and I get to be away from her and not have to see her every day. I just want to clarify once again that I still respect her and I forgive her for how I was treated and that I am going to move past this and better myself (and try to grow a spine 😂) Thank you for reading this.
Hello a little about myself I am 50 married with 4 kids. I have been battling a prn addiction for about 30 years along with depression and anxiety for 20 years. My wife and kids know about these struggles.
My wife is very out going, she loves making new friends and talking to everyone. My wife keeps telling me I need more friends and conversation in my life besides just her. I will have in person conversations with coworkers and friends at church. I avoid texting as much as I can in fear of the conversation turning sexual (as many have in the past),the individual finding out about my shameful addiction along with always feeling like a burden or I am bothering whoever I am texting. I’m tired of feeling lonely but I’m also afraid to reach out and make friends
I can’t let her go. She’s hurting me so much. I know i love her with my soul. But I can’t tell if I can’t let her go because I’m scared of being alone we’ve been together for so fucking long my first love I’m 20 my only love. I have no friends like actual friends, I’m new to the country and it’s all so hard, my mental health is the worst it’s ever been. I spent a year basically married to her living together spending every second together first vacation alone together got very shooing everyday together sleeping together everyday we are long distance now she hurts me she betrayed my trust we talked about it but she’s hurting I’m hurting she may me hurting too what do I do. I don’t want to leave if i haven’t fought hard enough. My ego is gone im letting her see pathetic me begging and crying, I hate that I hate this 4 years I know if it’s over this time it’s over for good.
When I was young and fresh out of HS I adopted some cats. And Ive stuck to my commitment to keep them and care for them.
Over the years I've noticed owning cats has been a challenge. People dont want to rent to you. Supplies arent overly expensive but they can add up. And they can and will test your boundaries.
I love my cats. But recently I've realized I need to make changes in my life and am seriously considering applying to the military to improve myself.
The issue is I cannot take my cats with me if I make it in.
And Im now realizing the issue of owning cats. Im not saying I regret ever owning them. However the issue is now. It hurts knowing that If I go through with this. I have to let them go. And I have to trust they will be ok.
I feel like such an ass. But I cannot keep living the way I am. Some people tell me they are just cats.
But they arent just cats to me. They are like my kids. They have helped me through some of the roughest years of my life. Somedays they were the only reason I got out of bed.
So what do I do. I feel so horrible. Like im giving up on them. I dont want people to think I abandoned them. Cause If I could take them with me I would.
What do I do?
Edit: Obviously I would rehome them in some sense. Im not just going to toss them onto the street or lock them in an abandoned apartment. When I say what do I do I mean more like how do I bring myself to letting go of them and knowing they will be ok so I can move forward.
Me and this girl have been dating for a good 3 months I understand that’s not very long but I’ve been trying to find this perfect girl for me, and it’s like after each girl, I haven’t been able to find someone. That’s truly for me. Someone that’s like emotionally mature, and can handle themselves and take care of themselves without me needing to like tell him to take care of themselves or let them know. We’re having to handle so much that I already have on my plate and I’ve talked to this girl about it, but she says she’s trying to change for me to help me, but I don’t think she can’t cause she isn’t that kind of person. She can’t change something. That is her. If that makes sense. I’m still stuck on my ex that I did it. Almost 2 or 3 years ago I think. Because she was perfect and we understood each other perfectly things and because I wasn’t emotionally, mature not to handle our relationship and I can admit to that and now that I’m trying to look for something like that. I find myself not being able to find the same kind of love. I don’t know what to do. I want someone new but I also to see if the situation ship can work out eventually If she can change like she said she can. Basically, I’m just looking for advice of what I can do.