u/Opposite-Ad1638

This post will be fairly long, I don’t know how to tag the original etc but most of the information will be covered in this as a sort of summary.

I came on here about a week ago asking advice on how to deal with my girlfriend saying that she doesn’t view me in a romantic way anymore in a healthy way. Many people gave great helpful feedback but as usual there were many extremists that decided they need to spew garbage. Thank you to everyone that chipped in though. This post didn’t necessarily need an update but I am currently sat alone in my hotel room and wanted to talk a bit about how I feel so I decided to update anyone who cared.

Firstly before I start the following information is not bashing her, it is just my perspective on things, I know that a relationship is a two way street. We are both 16 and it is our first relationship so we didn’t really know what we were doing. I was pretty miserable at times because I was her last option in pretty much every scenario and I liked her so much that it really affected me. Her friends would know everything, she would talk to them and not talk with me including hanging out with them over me even when we were making plans. Her friends kind of made jokes about me and crossed me out of photos, and when I asked her about it she said she couldn’t control them. She would only ever ask me to hang out in group settings and would always try to do ‘stuff’ with me that I don’t enjoy. I don’t enjoy holding hands or hugs or making out or sexual things etc, but I tried to do it to make her happy. We would never call because she was busy but wasn’t too busy for her friends. I felt unwanted I was miserable. I tried to talk to her about my feelings but she always saw it as me coming at her and got angry at me so I stopped and the same things I brought up was why we broke up. When we broke up I felt sad but then it wore off in about a day, I haven’t even cried about it.

I took some commenters advice and decided to spend more time with friends. I did a poker night at one friends house with a few others and we played monopoly also and I went on two 3 hour cycles across the countryside with another buddy and it definitely helped get my mind off of things. Thanks for the advice. Anyway getting back to the more interesting part.

Against my better judgement I decided to text her basically cleaning everything and just saying everything I hadn’t coming up to the break up. I did not mention that I hated how she treated me because I felt that would just worsen it so I left it at this:
‘I have been doing alot of reflecting since you told me how you felt and I feel I have come to a conclusion after talking it over with some people. When you told me how you felt I thought I was very upset but I was actually just kind of insulted but then I thought about it and realised there are plenty of people I know that I find perfectly pleasant and like and am not romantically interested in. Secondly I realised that this was the decision that needed to be made because it was what I should have done, I was incredibly miserable in the relationship but I just thought that thats how it is supposed to be but it is not and lets be real you probably felt similarly. I think you are amazing, you are funny, smart, ,athletic, you stand up for what you believe in and you are beautiful but I only liked the idea of dating you, I had a crush but after a while I realised it was only a crush and I couldn’t see myself in a long term relationship with you as a ‘friend’, even though I tried to treat you as best I could. I acted pretty immature today but I was feeling very sick and hadn’t ate anything since the açai bowl. I don’t know if you will read this but I wanted to say it because you deserve to hear it.’
She just replied with: ‘Alright’
I left it at that as I knew by now that it was officially over and there was no saving it and even if we could get back together it would never be the same.

Anyway, since then I have been removed or blocked on everything and I don’t think we will be “friends” like she initially proposed. I am quite hurt that she removed me from everything seeing as we are still teammates but I understand she is probably hurt and is coping right now and I wish her the best and I will keep my distance until she gets over it but she may never and that is alright. I think it closes off that chapter of my life and I am currently enjoying my time on holidays and I get to be away from her and not have to see her every day. I just want to clarify once again that I still respect her and I forgive her for how I was treated and that I am going to move past this and better myself (and try to grow a spine 😂) Thank you for reading this.

This post will be fairly long, I don’t know how to tag the original etc but most of the information will be covered in this as a sort of summary.

I came on here about a week ago asking advice on how to deal with my girlfriend saying that she doesn’t view me in a romantic way anymore in a healthy way. Many people gave great helpful feedback but as usual there were many extremists that decided they need to spew garbage. Thank you to everyone that chipped in though. This post didn’t necessarily need an update but I am currently sat alone in my hotel room and wanted to talk a bit about how I feel so I decided to update anyone who cared.

Firstly before I start the following information is not bashing her, it is just my perspective on things, I know that a relationship is a two way street. We are both 16 and it is our first relationship so we didn’t really know what we were doing. I was pretty miserable at times because I was her last option in pretty much every scenario and I liked her so much that it really affected me. Her friends would know everything, she would talk to them and not talk with me including hanging out with them over me even when we were making plans. Her friends kind of made jokes about me and crossed me out of photos, and when I asked her about it she said she couldn’t control them. She would only ever ask me to hang out in group settings and would always try to do ‘stuff’ with me that I don’t enjoy. I don’t enjoy holding hands or hugs or making out or sexual things etc, but I tried to do it to make her happy. We would never call because she was busy but wasn’t too busy for her friends. I felt unwanted I was miserable. I tried to talk to her about my feelings but she always saw it as me coming at her and got angry at me so I stopped and the same things I brought up was why we broke up. When we broke up I felt sad but then it wore off in about a day, I haven’t even cried about it.

I took some commenters advice and decided to spend more time with friends. I did a poker night at one friends house with a few others and we played monopoly also and I went on two 3 hour cycles across the countryside with another buddy and it definitely helped get my mind off of things. Thanks for the advice. Anyway getting back to the more interesting part.

Against my better judgement I decided to text her basically cleaning everything and just saying everything I hadn’t coming up to the break up. I did not mention that I hated how she treated me because I felt that would just worsen it so I left it at this:
‘I have been doing alot of reflecting since you told me how you felt and I feel I have come to a conclusion after talking it over with some people. When you told me how you felt I thought I was very upset but I was actually just kind of insulted but then I thought about it and realised there are plenty of people I know that I find perfectly pleasant and like and am not romantically interested in. Secondly I realised that this was the decision that needed to be made because it was what I should have done, I was incredibly miserable in the relationship but I just thought that thats how it is supposed to be but it is not and lets be real you probably felt similarly. I think you are amazing, you are funny, smart, ,athletic, you stand up for what you believe in and you are beautiful but I only liked the idea of dating you, I had a crush but after a while I realised it was only a crush and I couldn’t see myself in a long term relationship with you as a ‘friend’, even though I tried to treat you as best I could. I acted pretty immature today but I was feeling very sick and hadn’t ate anything since the açai bowl. I don’t know if you will read this but I wanted to say it because you deserve to hear it.’
She just replied with: ‘Alright’
I left it at that as I knew by now that it was officially over and there was no saving it and even if we could get back together it would never be the same.

Anyway, since then I have been removed or blocked on everything and I don’t think we will be “friends” like she initially proposed. I am quite hurt that she removed me from everything seeing as we are still teammates but I understand she is probably hurt and is coping right now and I wish her the best and I will keep my distance until she gets over it but she may never and that is alright. I think it closes off that chapter of my life and I am currently enjoying my time on holidays and I get to be away from her and not have to see her every day. I just want to clarify once again that I still respect her and I forgive her for how I was treated and that I am going to move past this and better myself (and try to grow a spine 😂) Thank you for reading this.

This post will be fairly long, I don’t know how to tag the original etc but most of the information will be covered in this as a sort of summary.

I came on here about a week ago asking advice on how to deal with my girlfriend saying that she doesn’t view me in a romantic way anymore in a healthy way. Many people gave great helpful feedback but as usual there were many extremists that decided they need to spew garbage. Thank you to everyone that chipped in though. This post didn’t necessarily need an update but I am currently sat alone in my hotel room and wanted to talk a bit about how I feel so I decided to update anyone who cared.

Firstly before I start the following information is not bashing her, it is just my perspective on things, I know that a relationship is a two way street. We are both 16 and it is our first relationship so we didn’t really know what we were doing. I was pretty miserable at times because I was her last option in pretty much every scenario and I liked her so much that it really affected me. Her friends would know everything, she would talk to them and not talk with me including hanging out with them over me even when we were making plans. Her friends kind of made jokes about me and crossed me out of photos, and when I asked her about it she said she couldn’t control them. She would only ever ask me to hang out in group settings and would always try to do ‘stuff’ with me that I don’t enjoy. I don’t enjoy holding hands or hugs or making out or sexual things etc, but I tried to do it to make her happy. We would never call because she was busy but wasn’t too busy for her friends. I felt unwanted I was miserable. I tried to talk to her about my feelings but she always saw it as me coming at her and got angry at me so I stopped and the same things I brought up was why we broke up. When we broke up I felt sad but then it wore off in about a day, I haven’t even cried about it.

I took some commenters advice and decided to spend more time with friends. I did a poker night at one friends house with a few others and we played monopoly also and I went on two 3 hour cycles across the countryside with another buddy and it definitely helped get my mind off of things. Thanks for the advice. Anyway getting back to the more interesting part.

Against my better judgement I decided to text her basically cleaning everything and just saying everything I hadn’t coming up to the break up. I did not mention that I hated how she treated me because I felt that would just worsen it so I left it at this:
‘I have been doing alot of reflecting since you told me how you felt and I feel I have come to a conclusion after talking it over with some people. When you told me how you felt I thought I was very upset but I was actually just kind of insulted but then I thought about it and realised there are plenty of people I know that I find perfectly pleasant and like and am not romantically interested in. Secondly I realised that this was the decision that needed to be made because it was what I should have done, I was incredibly miserable in the relationship but I just thought that thats how it is supposed to be but it is not and lets be real you probably felt similarly. I think you are amazing, you are funny, smart, ,athletic, you stand up for what you believe in and you are beautiful but I only liked the idea of dating you, I had a crush but after a while I realised it was only a crush and I couldn’t see myself in a long term relationship with you as a ‘friend’, even though I tried to treat you as best I could. I acted pretty immature today but I was feeling very sick and hadn’t ate anything since the açai bowl. I don’t know if you will read this but I wanted to say it because you deserve to hear it.’
She just replied with: ‘Alright’
I left it at that as I knew by now that it was officially over and there was no saving it and even if we could get back together it would never be the same.

Anyway, since then I have been removed or blocked on everything and I don’t think we will be “friends” like she initially proposed. I am quite hurt that she removed me from everything seeing as we are still teammates but I understand she is probably hurt and is coping right now and I wish her the best and I will keep my distance until she gets over it but she may never and that is alright. I think it closes off that chapter of my life and I am currently enjoying my time on holidays and I get to be away from her and not have to see her every day. I just want to clarify once again that I still respect her and I forgive her for how I was treated and that I am going to move past this and better myself (and try to grow a spine 😂) Thank you for reading this.

Over these past few weeks I have been suffering. My mental health has been pretty poor for the past few years due to severe bullying that has now stopped but the effects of it haven’t. I have cut myself and thought about committing suicide. It was fine for a while, I was happy I guess you could say but recently it has gotten particularly bad. I have cried myself to sleep every day for the past 3 weeks and I don’t know what to do. I have never spoken to anyone about this irl before, not even my parents know about the bullying or anything but I feel like its starting to affect my relationship with my girlfriend and its one of the only things I really enjoy at the moment and I cant lose it. I decided that I am going to have to tell her but I don’t want to put this pressure on her and I don’t want her to see me differently. I’m so scared, what if she thinks I’m weird, what if this doesn’t help anything, what if she leaves me. I need some advice I am really scared.

I am a 16 year old male. I have been rowing for just over 1 1/2 years. I am wondering about recruitments for D1 or the equivalent in US colleges (I am from Europe) Here is some info about me:

As mentioned 16 years old
Male
6’5
95kg (210lbs)
6:18 2k
4 national erg records
Represented internationally in sculling
Practically 0 sweep experience

Let me know if anymore information is necessary. Thanks you.

I feel like breaking up with her at this point, but I want to talk to her first. I just don’t like the way she treats me sometimes. It makes me feel unwanted, and I hate feeling like that because it brings out a lot of my insecurities.
I haven’t really told anyone this before, not even my family, but I was bullied a lot in the past. I never talked about it because I don’t like talking about that kind of stuff, but I think it’s relevant here because feeling ignored or unwanted brings all of those insecurities back. I’m not saying it’s her fault or expecting her to have known, but that’s why these things affect me as much as they do.
Some of the things that have upset me are that she removed photos of just the two of us from old Instagram posts. She’s on holidays at the moment and said she’d be busy, which I completely understand, but she only texted me once all day with a voice note that got cut off and never followed it up. I also had a competition recently, and she never asked how it went or even seemed interested, even though I always watch and support her competitions. On my most recent post I put up a photo of just the two of us, but when she posted she only put up a group photo.
I tried talking to her about how I was feeling about a week ago, but I came away feeling like I was being told I was accusing her or just being too sensitive. On top of that, her friends aren’t nice to me. They made a post calling me “it,” and she sometimes calls me “it” as well. She says she can’t stop her friends, but it still bothers me.
Two weeks ago I honestly thought I was falling in love with her, but now I just don’t know. I want to talk to her before making any decisions because we haven’t really spoken properly, and I think it’s important that we do before anything else.

I feel like breaking up with her at this point, but I want to talk to her first. I just don’t like the way she treats me sometimes. It makes me feel unwanted, and I hate feeling like that because it brings out a lot of my insecurities.
I haven’t really told anyone this before, not even my family, but I was bullied a lot in the past. I never talked about it because I don’t like talking about that kind of stuff, but I think it’s relevant here because feeling ignored or unwanted brings all of those insecurities back. I’m not saying it’s her fault or expecting her to have known, but that’s why these things affect me as much as they do.
Some of the things that have upset me are that she removed photos of just the two of us from old Instagram posts. She’s on holidays at the moment and said she’d be busy, which I completely understand, but she only texted me once all day with a voice note that got cut off and never followed it up. I also had a competition recently, and she never asked how it went or even seemed interested, even though I always watch and support her competitions. On my most recent post I put up a photo of just the two of us, but when she posted she only put up a group photo.
I tried talking to her about how I was feeling about a week ago, but I came away feeling like I was being told I was accusing her or just being too sensitive. On top of that, her friends aren’t nice to me. They made a post calling me “it,” and she sometimes calls me “it” as well. She says she can’t stop her friends, but it still bothers me.
Two weeks ago I honestly thought I was falling in love with her, but now I just don’t know. I want to talk to her before making any decisions because we haven’t really spoken properly, and I think it’s important that we do before anything else.

I feel like breaking up with her at this point, but I want to talk to her first. I just don’t like the way she treats me sometimes. It makes me feel unwanted, and I hate feeling like that because it brings out a lot of my insecurities.

I haven’t really told anyone this before, not even my family, but I was bullied a lot in the past. I never really talked about it because I don’t like talking about that kind of stuff, but I think it’s relevant here because feeling ignored or unwanted brings all of those insecurities back. I’m not saying it’s her fault or expecting her to know that, but it’s why these things affect me as much as they do.

Some of the things that have upset me are that she removed photos of just the two of us from old Instagram posts. She’s on holidays at the moment and said she’d be busy, which I completely understand, but she only texted me once all day with a voice note that got cut off and never followed it up. I also had a competition recently, and she never asked how it went or even seemed interested, even though I always watch and support her competitions. Then on my most recent post I put up a photo of just the two of us, but when she posted she only put up a group photo.

I tried talking to her about how I was feeling about a week ago, but I came away feeling like I was just being told I was accusing her or being too sensitive. On top of that, her friends aren’t nice to me. They made a post calling me “it,” and she sometimes calls me “it” as well. She says she can’t stop her friends, but it still bothers me.

I honestly really liked her. Two weeks ago I probably would have said I loved her, but now I just don’t know. I want to talk to her before making any decisions because we haven’t really spoken properly, but I don’t know how to approach it. What do you guys think? Am I overthinking this, or do you think my feelings are fair?

I recently bought a new set of comps and I dont know how to set them up. I usually do 288-88 on regular smoothie2 but I dont know what to do for comps. I have heard 3-4cm, 1cm and even that they are the same. I appreciate all the help I can get.

Hello Reddit,
I’m really bad at talking about my feelings, so please excuse me if this is all over the place.

I’ve struggled with self-confidence for a long time. I was bullied a lot in school because of my looks, weight, and personality. People wouldn’t even call me by my real name—they made up a different one because they didn’t like it. It felt like every part of who I was got picked apart.

Since then, things have improved. I go to the gym, I’m in much better shape, I look better, and I have good friends. But despite all that, I still have this voice in my head constantly telling me that I’m not good enough.

The reason I’m bringing this up now is because there’s a girl I really like. We’ve been seeing each other, and recently she invited me to a party. When I got there, I could tell she wanted to spend time alone with me, and other people were even pointing that out. We talked, and she told me that I’m really bad at showing my emotions because she couldn’t tell whether I liked her or not.
That hit me pretty hard.

I think part of the problem is that I tend to be very reserved. After being hurt in the past, I’ve gotten used to keeping my feelings to myself because it feels safer. I don’t want to get attached, open up, and end up getting hurt again. The problem is that by trying to protect myself, I might end up hurting her instead. If she can’t tell how I feel, she might think I don’t care about her, even though that’s the complete opposite of the truth.

I want to build my confidence because I would never forgive myself if I ended up hurting her because of my own insecurities. The problem is that even though I know she likes me, I still feel like I’m not good enough for her.

I’ve only ever asked out three girls. One rejected me, another cheated on me, and this girl is the third. Even after she agreed to be my girlfriend, my mind immediately started telling me that she must have misunderstood the question or that she didn’t actually feel the same way.

I know those thoughts aren’t rational. They’re toxic, and I hate having them, but I can’t seem to stop.

I guess what I’m asking is: has anyone else dealt with this?
How do you stop feeling like you’re not good enough, even when the evidence says otherwise?
How do you become more open with someone when you’re scared of getting hurt?
I really like this girl, and I’m scared that my insecurities are going to ruin something good.
Any advice would be appreciated.

Hello Reddit,
I’m really bad at talking about my feelings, so please excuse me if this is all over the place.

I’ve struggled with self-confidence for a long time. I was bullied a lot in school because of my looks, weight, and personality. People wouldn’t even call me by my real name—they made up a different one because they didn’t like it. It felt like every part of who I was got picked apart.

Since then, things have improved. I go to the gym, I’m in much better shape, I look better, and I have good friends. But despite all that, I still have this voice in my head constantly telling me that I’m not good enough.

The reason I’m bringing this up now is because there’s a girl I really like. We’ve been seeing each other, and recently she invited me to a party. When I got there, I could tell she wanted to spend time alone with me, and other people were even pointing that out. We talked, and she told me that I’m really bad at showing my emotions because she couldn’t tell whether I liked her or not.
That hit me pretty hard.

I think part of the problem is that I tend to be very reserved. After being hurt in the past, I’ve gotten used to keeping my feelings to myself because it feels safer. I don’t want to get attached, open up, and end up getting hurt again. The problem is that by trying to protect myself, I might end up hurting her instead. If she can’t tell how I feel, she might think I don’t care about her, even though that’s the complete opposite of the truth.

I want to build my confidence because I would never forgive myself if I ended up hurting her because of my own insecurities. The problem is that even though I know she likes me, I still feel like I’m not good enough for her.

I’ve only ever asked out three girls. One rejected me, another cheated on me, and this girl is the third. Even after she agreed to be my girlfriend, my mind immediately started telling me that she must have misunderstood the question or that she didn’t actually feel the same way.

I know those thoughts aren’t rational. They’re toxic, and I hate having them, but I can’t seem to stop.

I guess what I’m asking is: has anyone else dealt with this?
How do you stop feeling like you’re not good enough, even when the evidence says otherwise?
How do you become more open with someone when you’re scared of getting hurt?
I really like this girl, and I’m scared that my insecurities are going to ruin something good.
Any advice would be appreciated.

Hello Reddit,
I’m really bad at talking about my feelings, so please excuse me if this is all over the place.

I’ve struggled with self-confidence for a long time. I was bullied a lot in school because of my looks, weight, and personality. People wouldn’t even call me by my real name—they made up a different one because they didn’t like it. It felt like every part of who I was got picked apart.

Since then, things have improved. I go to the gym, I’m in much better shape, I look better, and I have good friends. But despite all that, I still have this voice in my head constantly telling me that I’m not good enough.

The reason I’m bringing this up now is because there’s a girl I really like. We’ve been seeing each other, and recently she invited me to a party. When I got there, I could tell she wanted to spend time alone with me, and other people were even pointing that out. We talked, and she told me that I’m really bad at showing my emotions because she couldn’t tell whether I liked her or not.
That hit me pretty hard.

I think part of the problem is that I tend to be very reserved. After being hurt in the past, I’ve gotten used to keeping my feelings to myself because it feels safer. I don’t want to get attached, open up, and end up getting hurt again. The problem is that by trying to protect myself, I might end up hurting her instead. If she can’t tell how I feel, she might think I don’t care about her, even though that’s the complete opposite of the truth.

I want to build my confidence because I would never forgive myself if I ended up hurting her because of my own insecurities. The problem is that even though I know she likes me, I still feel like I’m not good enough for her.

I’ve only ever asked out three girls. One rejected me, another cheated on me, and this girl is the third. Even after she agreed to be my girlfriend, my mind immediately started telling me that she must have misunderstood the question or that she didn’t actually feel the same way.

I know those thoughts aren’t rational. They’re toxic, and I hate having them, but I can’t seem to stop.

I guess what I’m asking is: has anyone else dealt with this?
How do you stop feeling like you’re not good enough, even when the evidence says otherwise?
How do you become more open with someone when you’re scared of getting hurt?
I really like this girl, and I’m scared that my insecurities are going to ruin something good.
Any advice would be appreciated.

Hello Reddit,
I’m really bad at talking about my feelings, so please excuse me if this is all over the place.

I’ve struggled with self-confidence for a long time. I was bullied a lot in school because of my looks, weight, and personality. People wouldn’t even call me by my real name—they made up a different one because they didn’t like it. It felt like every part of who I was got picked apart.

Since then, things have improved. I go to the gym, I’m in much better shape, I look better, and I have good friends. But despite all that, I still have this voice in my head constantly telling me that I’m not good enough.

The reason I’m bringing this up now is because there’s a girl I really like. We’ve been seeing each other, and recently she invited me to a party. When I got there, I could tell she wanted to spend time alone with me, and other people were even pointing that out. We talked, and she told me that I’m really bad at showing my emotions because she couldn’t tell whether I liked her or not.
That hit me pretty hard.

I think part of the problem is that I tend to be very reserved. After being hurt in the past, I’ve gotten used to keeping my feelings to myself because it feels safer. I don’t want to get attached, open up, and end up getting hurt again. The problem is that by trying to protect myself, I might end up hurting her instead. If she can’t tell how I feel, she might think I don’t care about her, even though that’s the complete opposite of the truth.

I want to build my confidence because I would never forgive myself if I ended up hurting her because of my own insecurities. The problem is that even though I know she likes me, I still feel like I’m not good enough for her.

I’ve only ever asked out three girls. One rejected me, another cheated on me, and this girl is the third. Even after she agreed to be my girlfriend, my mind immediately started telling me that she must have misunderstood the question or that she didn’t actually feel the same way.

I know those thoughts aren’t rational. They’re toxic, and I hate having them, but I can’t seem to stop.

I guess what I’m asking is: has anyone else dealt with this?
How do you stop feeling like you’re not good enough, even when the evidence says otherwise?
How do you become more open with someone when you’re scared of getting hurt?
I really like this girl, and I’m scared that my insecurities are going to ruin something good.
Any advice would be appreciated.