Im sick of Misandry
I am a little nervous for posting this, because I see when other people do it doesnt end very well, but to preface I am not MRA or incel adjacent, manosphere, or any of that, i consider myself a femenist even if I am bothered by a lot of self proclaimed femenists.
Everytime misandry is brought up, its always said that it either doesnt exist or its only online or its not important or if men bring it up they are just whining or trying to derail women. This just reinforces the patriarchal standard that men shouldn't talk about their emotions or shouldnt talk about what bothers them, but whatever.
During college most of my friends were women, but almost every single one of them has made some kind of negative remark about men as a whole, sometimes they will say something like "oh well your one of the good ones" gee thanks. 🙄 of course I bite my tounge and dont say anything because "thats how you be a good ally". my sister says things like "I like making men mad" or "men are useless" or similar things even though shes dating a man.
One of my closest friend's disclosed to me that she went through the wallet of a man who she was dating to look at his ID to make sure he was who he said he was. This time I did tell her that was wierd and a violation of his privacy and she started crying so I had to start comforting and reassuring her.
Even a few months ago I was complaining to my therapist, I was trying to move out of my parents house at the time, and I was lamenting how it seemed like every person on the website I was using to find roommates was a woman which I dont mind,Ive had women roommates before, but I was pretty confident that the reason none of them were returning my messages was because I am a man, and she said something along the lines of "well there's a reason men choose the bear." I got pissed. She did apologize, but it still sits with me that she was comfortable enough to compare the entire gender of one of her clients to animals. Its frankly insulting.
Then online I feel like I cant go into any sort of lefty adjacent especially femenist spaces without running into people being misandrist and then other people saying that the misandrists dont exists. I know that here is a lot of rage bait and bot accounts, but a lot of them are also real people and their ideas influence people in the real world. And there isnt a good way to push back without being dogpiled or invalidated in someway. And people are so insistent it doesn't exists it's so infuriating.