EMDR bringing back memories from an ex and I’m struggling as I’m now dating someone else
I started EMDR in mid June to help with long rooted self esteem issues and feelings of ‘not being good enough’. After the first session, I had such intense flashbacks to a past relationship that I thought I’d moved past. The feelings have now moved into a mix of grief, anger, sadness and frustration. We didn’t even focus on a memory to do from the time of this relationship so it caught me entirely off guard that I became so consumed with the memories and feelings of that time post session
For context, I was with this person for 3 years and our relationship ended in the later part of last year - to keep a long story short, it was my first big love and someone I fell head over heels for. I spent my early to mid twenties growing with this person, whilst at the same time dealing with emotional abuse they enacted and coming to terms with my own avoidant behaviour and struggling to communicate my emotions fully. When the relationship ended (via text) after a few heavy conversations and some time apart, I felt sad but also relief and took the time to take care of myself.
Then, at New Years, I unexpectedly met someone at a party and we got on really well. We had both unbeknown to the other come out of long term relationships and had a great time together. The first 6 months the relationship were great and getting to know each other and its quirks but since starting EMDR (and now also living together!), I’ve been overwhelmed with these memories of my last relationship, struggled with intimacy and just energy in general.
I’ve been open with my partner and they’ve been incredibly understanding but I can’t help for feeling guilty for being transfixed on these memories of my ex and not able to move forward from them when it felt like months ago I had and they didn’t even pop up in my head.
Has anyone else experienced this? I’d love to know what you did to navigate it all x