Relapse
So iv been a ketamine addict for about 3-4 years now but it got really bad at the end of 2024, was using anywhere between an ounce to 4 ounces a day, I was in and out of hospital all through 2025 with liver and bladder problems, I dropped to about 48kg in weight and could hold around 5ml in my bladder before I was bursting for a pee, I was peeing out alot of jelly and always had this extreme burning and stabbing pain in my urethra and groin, I started injecting around this time and i noticed my health went downhill rapidly from there, i could stand up or even make it to the toilet, really bad bladder spasms and incontinence, i actually went to rehab in November 2025 for a 6 month programme, I could hardly walk for the fist 3 months and was constantly peeing i hated rehab for the first half because it was a really intense programme where you have to work in different job roles and get into trouble and punished if you don't go to groups but after the first 3 months I started to notice my health getting better, I gained 20kg weight and was able to hold 60-80ml of pee before I was bursting, rehab did me the world of good and I completed the 6 month, but I didn't take up the resettlement programme that was offered where I would have been given a new house and 1 year aftercare, because I was an idiot, I was out for 3 days before i picked up an ounce of ket, iv been out for 5 weeks and iv probably gone through 5-6 ounces at least and iv fucked my bladder up gain, down to 5-10ml of pee before I'm bursting, struggling to pee, constantly burning and feeling like razorblades in my urethra
I dont know what to do, I'm so sick of this pain but I can't stop doing ket for the life of me, I feel like iv mess3d around my workers and my family and took all the help they gave me for granted, I honestly kinda just want to everything to stop and the pain to go away, my bladder is fucked for the rest of my life and I can't do anything
Thanks for reading, and I appreciate any advice yous might have