r/Ketamineaddiction

I never thought I’d be addicted so badly. Didn’t expect quitting alcohol to be way easier (for me at least).

Tolerance had built up so much after daily use of 2+ years, I don’t even get high or enjoy. But every time I’m sober there is this constant craving and my brain keeps saying “ah fuck it, just one last time”.

I managed to start meditating every morning, working out and jogging. After putting in all this effort I want to give my brain a little treat.

For those who managed to quit completely, did you give yourselves any treats or rewards along the way? If so, what?

Ketamine makes me so depressed I seriously want to eliminate it from my life.

Edit: I also want to know if there are any tricks used to fight the craving

Hey I’ve been IMing about a g a day for the last couple weeks and starting a few days ago I started getting the most insane extricating pain of my life in my upper abdomen along with crazy sweating and just generally feeling like I’m on deaths doorstep. I didn’t immediately think of the ketamine as I’m also getting radiation treatment for cancer so I didn’t stop using until last night. How much longer am I going to feel like this? Is there anything I can do to help with the pain until it goes away?

So my story is I’m an alcoholic, 8 years sober from alcohol. Alcohol ruined my life and I’m in AA now ever since day one of sobriety this time around. I have bipolar 2 and adhd. So I can be pretty impulsive. This time sober I have not had any cravings for alcohol which was amazing.

My ketamine journey started 2 years ago. I was in a depressive episode and thought I’d try out ketamine through a doctor. I successfully didn’t become addicted -yet- because I was under medical supervision and was just doing it once a month. But let me tell you I craved it almost everyday and made it my master. Always thinking of it and how good it felt and when I will get my next IV therapy.

Then I couldn’t afford IV anymore and started at home therapy troches. That’s when it became a bigger problem. I ended up doing way more than prescribed and started doing it daily. I was literally a zombie. The doctor was probably not the best doctor and said I could do the low dose (200mg) daily if needed. So I took that as I can do whatever I wanted. So I was able to skip days so I could triple or double my dose. It made me feel good and my thoughts were silent once again like alcohol used to do for me. I had fun on it. But with any addiction I’ve experienced the fun eventually stops. I then was depressed because I couldn’t control myself whatsoever.

Then once I realized I couldn’t take my prescription as prescribed I came clean with my AA sponsor. I didn’t tell her I was abusing it, which is a lie. I told her I almost abused it and wanted to abuse it and had a plan to. So I flushed it down the toilet. At this point I also had a nasal spray which really amped up the effects. So it’s been 3 months without it.

The cravings are still very intense. I’m not doing well mentally because it’s all I can think about. I have made a plan to get a credit card and buy it again. I feel a relapse coming on. The urge is so strong.. I will not tell my sponsor I don’t want to. With alcohol it was easy to stop this time around because my life was literally unmanageable and I lost important things to me. Now with ketamine I have not hit any bottom whatsoever. I have not lost anything important to me. So my addict brain has taken over and I can’t make it stop. I haven’t bought it yet. I’m going to more AA meetings to see if that’ll curb my obsession for ketamine. The addict brain is a sneaky evil. It’s constantly trying to ruin me. Thanks for listening. Not sure what to do here or if I’m too far gone for a relapse.

My bladder pain is so bad it hurts walking, atm it's okay when laying and sitting, and the pains intermittent.

If you've never felt like this, it gets worse. it'll get to the point where it feels like you're sitting on razors 24/7, having to hobble when walking, barely able to walk. As well as piss every 5-10 mins, through the night as well.

Please get help and take it one day at a time if you're struggling, I promise life's better when you're sober, and K will destroy you and take everything from you.

If you're stuck in a relapse like me wondering how you've got here, it's okay and we can get through it, keep going!