Need advice
So I’m engaged to 42(m) and I’m 40(f) and my kids are grown already and they like my boyfriend. When I say grown they in their early 20’s now and just want me to be happy. My bf has kids with a woman who’s in her mid 30’s and he has 5 teenagers and 1 son who’s 5yrs old. Now me and the bm have had a physical altercation already and have exchanged words. I’ve ignored her comments but she has poisoned the minds of the older girls and won’t let me be around any of the kids since day 1. Now that my bf ain’t working and I am she knows all the income she’s getting is from me not him. So now she’s ok with me being around but I can’t say anything to them which is odd. She doesn’t want me to think that I’m their mother and give any advice on their clothing that they dress in. (1x my sd was wearing really short shorts and I asked her to go change 1x) and now I’m not allowed to tell them what to wear and what not to wear cuz she’s already approved the clothing that they have on. Which I think teen girls always have a change of clothes for school, parties and outside events. They never actually wear what their parents approved of. So now it’s ok for me to go to sporting events and graduation but the girls are not allowed to take any pictures with me and bf. Now I’m thinking is this even worth the hassle from the bm and what gets me upset is my bf won’t say nothing and just lets her decide everything which I think it’s not co-parenting when 1 decides everything and the other go along with it just so he can see the kids. Please help.