How do I stop my toxic family from interfering in my married life?
I'm from a fairly traditional South Asian family. I recently got married to my boyfriend. Because of serious issues with my family, including manipulation and a lot of mental stress, I eventually left home and had very limited contact with them. The situation affected me significantly and I eventually had to seek professional support.
My husband and I decided to have a very simple marriage registration with just the two of us, two witnesses and the registrar. We then moved into our own home and started our life together. We're genuinely happy and peaceful.
My family didn't know about the marriage beforehand. About a week after getting married, I contacted them and informed them out of respect. Since then, my grandmother has repeatedly questioned why I didn't tell them earlier, why I didn't invite them, why I didn't wait until our planned wedding date, and what she should tell relatives. I've already explained my reasons several times and have told her firmly that I don't want to keep discussing it.
Recently, she somehow obtained my husband's phone number even though I had specifically told her I didn't want her contacting him. She called him and asked him the same questions she'd already asked me, and even asked him to tell me to speak to the family.
My husband refused and told her that whether I maintain contact with them is my decision and that he wouldn't manipulate or pressure me. I really appreciated his response and felt very respected by him.
I've now spoken to my grandmother very firmly and told her that she's becoming a burden to me, that I've already explained everything, and that I don't want her involving my husband or repeatedly questioning my marriage.
My biggest problem now is the emotional exhaustion. Every time they contact us, it takes up so much mental and emotional energy and starts affecting the peaceful life my husband and I have built together.
I don't want to keep fighting with them. I just want to protect the peaceful life my husband and I have built.
How would you handle this from here?