(repost) are my hands ok and also tips for dealing with intrusive thoughts?
I (19F) think about a lot of things that make my body very uncomfortable in a lot of ways and I really need to write things out to a therapist in some way
diagnosed ocd and anxiety on 100mg zoloft
please dont comment on larping cause I am already aware
spoilers: intrusive thoughts, LIGHT self harm, meat??, least obvious humans seeking community tiktok post, redditbait // sorry in advance
I dont want to be super annoying so Im only doing one example of this kind of stuff but these types of thoughts happen a lot,. sometimes I leave my hands in hot water to see how long I can go (while simultaneously thinking im only doing it as an ocd symptom and not out of genuine curiosity as to how long my hands can last under hot water (while simultaneously thinking I want to see how long my hands can last under hot water)) and my hands go red. and then I realize my hands are meat and im slowly boiling my flesh like an animal and that my body might be like medium rare rn. and then I start spiral and whatever (larp alert)
so I think what im kind of asking is a) how long does it take for human flesh to cook alive and b) how do I describe these thoughts to a therapist and stop doing this cause it really freaks me out ngl. do people share similar experiences? I just kinda wanna feel like im not crazy or alone in this, or making things up in multilevel self gaslighting.
if this is embarrassing please tell me
btw I know this is probably a validation post so if it gets taken down I totally understand