I (16f) keeps wanting to make edgy/demonic art pieces. Since I was 6 I have been making dark shit like angle demons then I'll get caught and told off about it, then I jump to another edgy ass thing. Why do I keep wanting to do this and how do I stop this.
It feels like a lot of products and services cost more than ever, yet the quality somehow keeps dropping.
What's the biggest example you've personally noticed? Could be food, apps, subscriptions, electronics, clothing-anything.
Every so often I’ll look at someone who’s really attractive or really well put together, and my brain just goes, “You have to poo too.”
It’s such a bizarre thing to think about. No matter who you are, we’re all dealing with the same smelly, awkward bodily function every day or every few days.
Hello everyone, I’m Jack 21M. Around mid-November I had my first ever ‘sticky’ intrusive thought, I was led with my girlfriend and was imagining fighting over intruders/ninjas (come on gentleman we all do it) and then the image of me accidentally stabbing her with a knife shot up in my brain and the nightmare started from there. I began questioning why I would even think that and the thought was so distressing that I cried while she was asleep next to me and the guilt was awful. Fast forward to a week ago, the thought was still popping up occasionally but now it was more of a “what if i do it on purpose “ and I would try my best to fight it off and reassure myself that I would never ever hurt her in any way but of course OCD is OCD so no matter what reassurance you give yourself it never works.
It got to a point last week where I had a massive anxiety attack and it felt like I had to fight the ‘urge’ to follow through on the thought but of course it was never going to happen. I honestly believed I was going crazy/getting possessed (lol) and I was so unbelievably terrified. After the attack passed I decided to tell her what was going on even though the guilt of even having them in the first place was eating me alive, i was scared she would think I’m a psychopath or that I actually wanted to hurt her but of course I didn’t and never would. Thankfully, she was unbelievably supportive and did the research for me and found out about Harm OCD and it checked all the boxes on how I was feeling and how I responded to the thoughts
After spending Saturday and Sunday shaking with anxiety I rang my GP on the Monday and explained my symptoms and was prescribed Fluoxetine 20mg (Prozac) and Propranolol 10mg and am currently on the waiting list for a OCD specialised therapist.
The start of the week was tough, the prozac was kicking my ass, it was definitely making my anxiety worse and I also feel it was/is amplifying the guilt from the thoughts which would put me in a constant low mood, I was still doubting everything and was so scared that I wasn’t in control of my actions, that the thoughts were reflective of my character and who I was but of course that’s not the case. I bought the books ‘Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts’ and ‘Overcoming Harm OCD’ through audible and I cannot stress enough how helpful they have been.
A combination of research on the theme, OCD in general, listening to both of the books and having my girlfriend and family in my support circle who understood me and what I was going through has been so essential to making me feel better so quickly.
I would constantly seek reassurance, come to reddit for reassurance and ruminate but after doing more research I realised these were ‘compulsions’ so i stopped.
The books and research taught me why the thoughts occur, what they actually mean and how they aren’t reflective of who you are and this is what stuck with me. I’ve always been someone who needs reasons to the madness and the books provided it.
I’ve accepted that everyone has these thoughts but the fact they stick is due to the OCD and because they go against who I am as a person. The reason you have so much anxiety/disgust/guilt about the thoughts is because you would never do them. Instead of fighting the thoughts I now just acknowledge them, accept them and let them pass.
Now I am 100% sure I must be an anomaly case, a lot of people suffer with this condition for a long time. I’m not sure if it’s because i caught what it was early or I might just of been extremely lucky.
I am not 100% cured, I will definitely wake up in the morning anxiety ridden :D but these are the steps I’ve taken in just one week and I’m already seeing such huge benefits.
You are not alone, you are not crazy, you will not act on the thoughts and you will beat this. We both will.
The word for human in Japanese is Ningen
Wikipedia page: Ningen (Japanese: 人間) is "human being" in Japanese language.
So if a guy calls another a Ningen its not even racist
Hes just calling a person a human
I dont know why i figured out a replacement word...
Rolls off the tongue though like... just gonna use boondocks as example here
Heard: "Ningen this! ningen that! NINGEN PLEASE!"
Literally just: "Guy this! Guy that! GUY PLEASE!"
IDK WHY THIS CAME TO ME AND I AM GENUINELY CONFUSED AND AFRAID!
DID I GET A RACIST THOUGHT?! OR IS IT OK TO CALL A PERSON A HUMAN BEING?! OR IS DOING THAT RACIST?!!!?????
?????????????????
im gonna have a panic attack.
HAD THIS THOUGHT WHEN I WAS A BARELY HORMONAL KID AFTER WATCHING CRYPTID VIDEOS PLEASE BE GENTLE GUYS OR I WILL PAINT MY CEILING
Sometimes I get this random thought that the US is not turning into a surveillance state all at once, but slowly enough that people just get used to it. More cameras, more tracking, more apps needing personal info, more companies collecting data, more databases nobody asked to be in. Each thing by itself seems normal, but together it feels kind of creepy. Anyone else?
I'm 19m. Have many things to work on, improve upon, start, do, finish, continue and learn. And frankly, it really is a mess. But simultaneously I'm fascinated by damn so much. Sociology, books, psychology, novels, dostoevsky, life, osho, lao Tzu, buddha, surrender, death, unconscious, sex, intimacy, women, disgust towards myself coz I really don't know where the emotional signals in my body come from in every situation, or why I can't seem to apply the thoughts I get when I'm alone to situations when I'm not alone. I fear life, and I lust for life too. So many things I feel can give me more control over different aspects of my life, and so many things which leave me questioning myself to death. So many things which make me wonder, and so many things I can't let my eyes really see. That's my life. And I want to rant about it to someone who understands, who is on my wavelength. If u r on my wavelength and get what I wrote here, dm
Maybe it’s because I’m horny 24/7 but anyone else feel this way??
Hi im 17 ( F ) I’ve had some passings in the past couple months about five that really took a toll on me it was one every month February, march, April, may. It was so hard to deal with that I just pushed those feelings down so I didn’t cry at school. I also had an internship in the ER and I also lost a patient that I had to sit and watch and it really just hit me after school. I cried for hours and my anxiety was over the roof I kept thinking what If they missed something this isn’t fair. Also I occasionally vaped with my friends or at school (unhealthy habit ik) most of the time when I wasn't supposed to. I dont like it but I always decide to do it every time im offered. The last time I had smoked was from a cart and I'd hit it a couple of times mores than I should most of that afternoon, and before I went to sleep. two days later I developed these intrusive thoughts related to harm. I was very confused because im a kind hearted person and I can't even slap someone or playfully punch someone in the arm. Im not a harmful or dangerous person but these thoughts scared me so bad I cried to my doctor about it because I was so confused, they were out of my character. She put me on sertraline two days later and it made me crazy, I feel it made my thoughts worse so I changed to Lexapro. The thoughts were just like, "kill that person" or "kill yourself" and my therapist had said its just intrusive thoughts but I constantly would sit and think over and over why this was happening to me, am I a bad person when in reality I wasn't. My brain was trying to make me feel and believe I was this evil person. I avoided sharp objects and avoided people in general like my friends, my boyfriend, even my family. I had these panic attacks that scared me so bad that I thought I was dying. But I handled them just fine when I started the Lexapro. (Im sorry if this is all over the place) Anyways, after two weeks I was going to church, praying, and getting closer with god and had finally found peace. It wasn't bothering me anymore. Until two days ago when they came back after a streak of not having them. It was frustrating. They were the same but instead it came with feelings like "urges" to do them when I really didn't want to. I was so panicked by it that I locked myself in my room I didn't understand what was going on I dont want to do these evil things. I hated it I felt like I didn't deserve to be around people. I opened up to my boyfriend about this and he was understanding and is by my side right now when I need him. But im frustrated, im thinking I might have OCD but im not sure. I have depression and anxiety, my mom thinks I have ADHD, I just am so frustrated this is happening to me and I just want some relief so I stop googling and reading about it. I just feel like im this crazy person. I've never experienced this before its all new to me and I feel like a lot of things trigger it, my mom works at a hospital and tells me these stories that happen there or just on the news and its triggering. I can't watch scary movies anymore. I used to love scary movies, I get uncomfortable even watching documentaries now or reading the news. I just really need some advice and reassurance.
Today they haven't been as bad but I still feel the need to look for answers all of the time, why this is happening, peoples experiences with this, etc. It feels also like im arguing with myself too. Like when I say that's not me it's like my brain says yes it is. And then I get anxious because I just think am I crazy? I haven't said much to my mom about this because she's going through enough and I put her through enough when this first all started. I just need some opinions or advice on what's going on. I have an appointment to see if I have OCD and ADHD but other than that I just try to ignore the thoughts but I always find myself searching things up. If anyone can relate I'd like to hear about how you handled this.
(im sorry if this is so long)
it started while i was on vacation and i was with some sort of relative idk how i’m related to him really, and I was staying with family, and for some reason i kept getting thoughts about his genitals and my hands started tingling and I kept trying to get myself to stop thinking about it but i couldn’t for some reason.
then i was watching a cartoon and it had a 14 year old girl in it and i kept thinking to mysel “am i attracted to her? am i sexually attracted to her?” but i don’t think i was but i couldn’t stop thinking about it so I wasn’t sure.
and now i’m scared of touching my niece or being around her because i don’t want to hurt her in case i really am a pedophile.
i also keep feeling tingling at my genitals, it doesnt exactly feel like arousal but im not sure if it is or isn’t, and it’s freaking me out.
and i keep occasionally getting the thought to imagine doing something like that to a child to test if i like it, and i get scared of even thinking about that cause it’s bad and gross and i feel disgusted, even if i can’t imagine it. if I do, i either just dissociate afterwards or feel sick. but i still get worried because why did i even do that?
Can intrusive thoughts be of a sexual nature involving children? 🥵 can it also get to you whilst your doing the basic day to day life? Like eating and drinking, I’m so horrified. Please someone tell me what this means?
So I’m 16.
I want a boyfriend, but for all the wrong reasons. I feel as if maybe I just want a friend, but I’m so complicated it feels like I need something more than that truly. It’s hard to NOT be vulnerable, and I feel taboo when I’m comfortable with a person. Though I might not want to date everyone I like. I want to possess them in a way and it’s hard to not be jealous, and anxious when they also have friends. It always feels like a favorite person situation, and it’s annoying to live with. I just want someone to want all of me even the ugly evil narcissist parts of me that I think don’t deserve it. Do you guys think I will ever find that? I am only 16, and now I’m heading into my last year of highschool. Ik I’ll get something like that because i believe… is that too predictable though? The doubt feels like it’s actually ruining my dreams. #steadfast
Some thoughts are a bit dark, yet I entertain them. Is this bad?
hoping this reaches the right people haha. i need advice with what to do or how to move forward from something. i was talking to this girl for almost 2 years. we never "officially" were together but the way we progressed, you might as well have just considered us in a relationship. i love everything about this girl. not just how she makes me feel, but who she is. i genuinely just love her with all of me. i want to take of care her. be there for her. protect her. give her everything. we are so compatible. but one thing would constantly come up. just small, minuscule debates about random things. it could be about whether or not cats are cool! i could thinks cat aren't cool and she would think cats are and we would have these passionate debates about that for like 30-45 minutes. it really bothered her. she felt as if we disagreed too much. regardless of everything we did agree on (which was a lot), she wanted to just stay friends because of this. i was ready to let her walk away but people in my life told me some things are worth fighting for. that i am super happy with her and around her. that we match so well and disagreeing should be normal not a deal breaker. (obviously not to the extent where we wouldn't be considered compatible) we agreed and meshed so well on SO MUCH! like i can't explain how well we get along. how good things are. but those random arguments just really got to her. we've been friends for about a month and a half. even that decision felt forced because it seemed she was still in the headspace of wanting to be together. wanting to try. but just feeling like scared to feel sad about these random arguments again. plus her friends definitely influence her to make impulsive rash decisions. it is really hard for me to be around her knowing how strongly i feel for her. it never changed. i know she was just scared of certain things but of course i will never force someone to see what i see. i just love this girl and don't want to throw anything anyway without fully putting myself out there for it. you know? i don't know am i crazy what should i do?
Does anyone get thoughts about god watching them or like spirits while not really believing in them (i have a lot of respect for all religions)
All this shit started just a month ago. I’ve always been a pretty perverted person addicted to masturbation—I used to do it every night. The intrusive thoughts started when my bed was sold and I had to sleep in my mom's bed—something normal... I started having horrible thoughts about her, things I’d never actually do but that kept echoing in my head. That lasted a week until they just disappeared... I wasn't uncomfortable being near her anymore; it was as if it had never happened. I had two days of calm, free from that shit in my head, until out of nowhere, thoughts about pedophilia and bestiality involving my cat started—things that horrified me. I couldn't even look at my cat and would kick him out of my room until those thoughts simply vanished... but the thoughts about being a... you know... are still there. For a whole fucking month, I’ve cried in class (I’m 15) because of this and stopped eating. In the first few days, I avoided being near minors—even my own cousin—which wasn't an issue earlier this year; everything was normal... What worries me most about this shit is the fear that these aren't just thoughts—that maybe it *is* who I am. Things that used to turn me on don't anymore, and my crotch tends to react to things involving minors (God, it’s disgusting to write this shit). I wouldn't call it arousal, just... I don't know... it doesn't actually turn me on. But if I *am* that way, everything would be ruined for me. No one would want to talk to me or be near me; I wouldn't have a partner or friends, and my family would abandon me—rightfully so. I met a girl before this happened, and I still see her; I don't want to hurt her given my state. If I turn out to be that kind of person, she doesn't deserve someone like me. The "me" from a month ago would be ashamed of me. Damn, I can barely remember what my life was like before this. In hindsight, I should have just slept on the fucking couch. Please help me
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My parents are both doctors and they have been working all my life. When I was a kid they used to 36 hours duty. Sometimes both of them were not present at home whole day. My mother's grandmother used to tc of my food and necessities. When I was 7 years old she passed away. And then my mother used to take me to the hospital after my school hours or on Sunday because I cannot be left alone at house. On a few days she used to keep me at a neighbour aunty's house and sometimes a helper at home which served me food. Diwali used to be lonely too, only a few hours of togetherness. When I entered 11th standard, I went to kota for coaching for 3 years and it was hell. Real hell. Depression. And took me some time to recover from the horror of kota. Now I'm good. College was good okay and I have a partner and he loved me and I know my parents love me too. But like he's not as available as I am. I feel like he doesn't want to meet or call me as often I want to. Like ik he loves me alot but he ignores me and is drained most of the times. Idk if I'm the one who feels so much or maybe I'm too much for everyone. But I feel a void inside of me and I feel like no one is there for me as I am for myself and every one else. And it's me for me at the end of the day. And people love me but they are very selfish and idk even after telling them how I feel it doesn't matter.