u/Prize-Mix5770

>!&#x200B;!<So, I, unfortunately, walked in on my sister masturbating in the living room, and now I’m having a mix of contaminate intrusive thoughts, and sexual intrusive thoughts. I’m having a physical response to the sexual ones that are really not fun, and fighting my own brain to tell myself I’m not attracted to my sister is not what I wanted to do while going to bed before what was going to be a really nice day tomorrow. I’m in bits, this is the worst, I want to cry, I want to throw up, I want to be normal enough that something like that can happen and I don’t have to convince myself I’m not sexually interested in my SISTER because I’m so disgusted my mind started to tell me I am.

I wish I was normal. I wish I was reasonable. I wish intrusive thoughts worked any other way. I wish it wasn’t just over four hours until I need to wake up.

so yeah, just needed to rant it out, and maybe ask for any advice on how to get over it??>!&#x200B;!<

So, I'm running my first ever game of Dread with my friends, and while I have all basic story outline set up (will be fleshing it out in the coming days), I'm a little lost on the character questionaries. I feel a little weird pushing people into certain characters, moreso because I'm an anxious person than anything else, and I'm kind of lost on how to make questions that can be unique for everyone, without pushing too hard into just making their characters for them.

The plot is that they're all kids in the same club (one of the last things I need to flesh out, I do not have a clue of what exact club), some wanting to be there others pushed into it by their parents, and there are these three mean girl types. There's a birthday sleepover planned, and the players are almost not invited, before a last minute call from the birthday girls not too happy parents, having told her to invite everyone. Then it all devolves into horror and madness when the three girls, excluding the players because mean girl archetype, use one of those youtube videos you used to see everywhere like "how to make yourself a mermaid", and it works, but it makes them all horrifying monsters, taken over by the magical ancient spirits of these mythical creatures.

And then these are the questions thus far.

https://preview.redd.it/72wyq7h7rkhh1.png?width=736&format=png&auto=webp&s=f19ea95f3dc03f0672b2993b49b501484865a90f

All in all I'm just a little lost, and any ideas or methods to making questions myself would be much appreciated. I'm lost lol.

I had found a channel clearly doing an arg, the last video came out three days ago, but I hadn't gotten around to watching ANY of them because I've just been busy. When I found it I think there were 4-5 videos, and then the new one came out three days ago. They take about two weeks in between to post, and I believe one of the videos has some sort of entity in the thumbnail??? I also remember a library, and the newest video has pigs in the thumbnail. I am DESPERATE to find it again, so if ANYONE knows what it is that would be much appreciated. If not then that is a shame, but I hope someone with an arg breakdown channel finds it so I can actually see it again lmao.

so yesterday was probably one of the worst days of my life, it ended in me calling the police and then sleeping for nearly ten hours. Worst part is when I did sleep, it was just a host of awful intrusive thought dreams that ‘dream me’ felt no distress about, but conscious ‘watching’ me was so upset and grossed out by, so now I just have to go through my day with the dreams playing on repeat. I just wish none of yesterday happened, I wish my brain was normal and I didn’t get a ‘punishment’ for stressful events. Even seemingly innocent things just turn so fucking evil and awful, I’m so tired of this shit. (excuse the swearing lol)

I have paranoia issues and medical anxiety, so I really just want to make sure tbh so that if I have to describe my symptoms to a doctor I'll be able to do it properly. Relatively often, at least once every two days I'd say, I will see movement, or maybe hear something drop or move that isn't there, especially in the dark for the visual stuff. Like, I'd see a 'shadow person' move in the darkness, or be able to fully look at a bookshelf in my room, know it's a bookshelf, whatever, but then when it's dark just fully see a person peeking out from beside it at me. They almost never have faces, and they're there but not really 'there' if that makes any sense. I'm sure this seems like a silly question, but idk, I've read some things that say shadowy figures like that can be normal, especially if you're more prone to paranoia like I am (mostly manifests in feeling watched or like my food or water has been tampered with, but I can identify it usually and am fine).