He is too busy
I have reconnected with someone that I/we both have intense chemistry with eachother, but somehow timing was not right last time and now its as if the same thing is happening.
We reconnected last month, by him, he apologised for his last behaviours and he said he was keeping things tunneled when he should let them flow (he wanted us to be together but no strings attached)
I didnt give in easily and didnt make up my mind anytime after that as I wanted to see him more. For me I simply have to spend time with someone to know, but as you will see he thinks entirely different.
We text a bit and I hint at us meeting again, with the intention that I wouldnt be so harsh and give this a chance. The first time we arranged he was 2-3 hours late and we just cancelled it. Then he re arranged and then on that day he asked me when to meet and then didnt respond for the rest of the night. I was furious. He apologised next day and I said how it was disrespectful and how I wont accept it.
He says he was very sorry and he had something come up and couldn't do anything but deal with it. I let him be and Days later he asks if he can make it up to me and how. I tell him its very easy - be honest, show up, dont push and pull, stop giving me reasons to be disappointed. He says he can do that.
We meet up, again last minute at late hour, his usual. I regret this now because I should have stood my ground that I would prefer if he plans it and sticks to it. He told me quite a deep and harsh family drama that is happening and that was the reason he disappeared that day. I reiterated I wont meet him again last minute and at ungodly hours and that he doesnt have to explain to me whats happening but just a single text. He said he will try to get better. Then we chat and had intimate long make out.
I then told him when I was available that week, and he said he has checked and is way too busy from work so he probably cant make it. At the end of the week I kind of ask if he will re arrange then, no response. I message him Days later that I hope he is okay. We text a bit and I bring up meeting and he says he hasnt asked as he has to be free in order to ask. And I ask him but will he ever know not last minute, and he says he is trying to change that.
5 days pass, I message him last night and ask if he was free some dsys this week coming. Nope he isnt. Then I just lose it unfortunately a bit, I break and bring up to him that this is going different from what it seemed, that he is never scheduling except for one time, that it makes me confused if he wants to and unclear. He said he has been very clear and we shouldnt meet if thats what I feel, brings up he can't have a relationship now as too busy and figuring life out but he was willing to let things flow with me but I have to be sure and okay with that and know that. I told him I am in the same exact boat but that once a month meeting with barely any texting in between seems like no momentum to me. He said Im sorry but not much can change now as he is busier than ever.
From his way of talking it doesnt seem like he was readily pulling away but he instantly goes to defense mode and is defending his lifestyle and that he is only usually free in evenings and cannot plan too. Im just unclear with myself if I am pushing things too much