My girlfriend (25F) and I (27M) roleplayed not knowing each other at a party to rekindle the flame in our relationship, what can I do in the future to keep it lit?
TL;DR: The spark is (was?) slowly fading in my couple and we decided to light it back up by roleplaying as if we didn't know each other and flirting at a party. It was the best thing ever and it's something I'd really recommend if you're in the same situation as I am. Also I'm looking for suggestions of attentions to show my significant other I'm still in love. (see final paragraph)
I've been with my girlfriend for about a year and I'm madly in love. She's an incredibly sweet, brilliant and beautiful woman. She has been more or less living at my house for the past few months (she rents a room in a shared accomodation with fellow PhD students, but ends up staying at my house almost every day). However, I noticed she was a bit distant/different recently, but I thought she was just stressed out by her PhD as she had already been acting similarly in the past because of that. But one night she decided to confront me about what was stressing her out. She explained that she didn't feel loved as much anymore, that I had entered a sort of "routine state" where she felt like she was not treated as a woman I'd desire anymore, but rather a flatmate with benefits, and that I wasn't making efforts to seduce her anymore. This is something that actually was already reproached to me by an ex girlfriend and that had ultimately cost me my relationship, so I definitely took it very seriously when she opened up to me about all that.
What scares me about it is I don't even realize it, and I don't really know what to do to make up for it without simply love bombing her... But last week end we decided to go on a night out together in Paris (we live in the suburb) to a club/warehouse party to join some people she knew from work that did not knew she had a boyfriend. On the way there, I had an idea: she wouldn't tell them about me, and we would roleplay as if we'd just met at the party, and act out as long as possible. I thought it would be a fun prank on her friends, and it also would be an occasion for me to flirt with her as if I was trying to pick her up for the first time.
She is really into roleplay so she found the idea really fun as well, so we did just that. We invented a stupid story as to why we arrived together at the party: she had forgotten her bag in the subway and I took it and gave it back to her, then we realized we were going to the same party so we chatted on the way there... It convinced everyone.
It was really a lot of fun to get to know each other when we secretely knew each other really well. I was really surprised by how well she played surprised to stuff she completely knew about me while I chatted with her and her friends. But the really good part is that we got to flirt, more or less obviously. The kind of flirt where you're testing to see if the other one is into you or not, and you're a bit shy to be too direct so you don't get rejected. It was really an awesome feeling, especially since we didn't get to do that at the beginning of our relationship (we met through a dating app, so we already kind of knew we were into each other)
As the night played on, it became really easy to act it out, it really felt to me like I was trying to hit on some cute girl I had just met at the party, I was even starting to get nervous for some reason haha! And I could see she felt great after every little hint I gave that I was interested. Her friends eventually noticed I was into her (and she was into me) and went all gossipy. She told me later that her friends hyped her up in the bathroom lol! I don't know how she kept a straight face during all that. It's also around that time that one of her friends told her "Didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend?" so she had to gaslight her to keep the prank going...
Eventually we reached a moment in the night where they intentionally left us two alone, while keeping an eye out from afar. This bit was geniunely the cutest hour we spent together the couple last months... The flirting got a bit more obvious, but we didn't break character. We were reliving that feeling where you sense the tension, know something is about to happen, with stress and butterflies in the stomach.
I have a pretty big mustache and I get a lot of questions about it when I first meet with people. At one point when we were alone, she asked "doesn't it make it hard to kiss?" to which I replied "I don't know... Do you want to try?" and she proceeded to kiss me like she hadn't in a long time. It was awesome, it really felt like we were a young fiery situationship/couple again, and it was so good seeing her friends celebrating in the background. It frankly was the most intense moment I shared with her in a very long time, and she later told me she felt that way too. I got ahead of myself after a couple minutes snogging and I told her I love her, to which she acted shook and told me "I think this is going a bit too fast for me..."; then we bursted out laughing.
We usually aren't very demonstrative in public as we're rather shy/reserved, but that night we just couldn't hold it. Probably one of the most romantic night we ever had.
We eventually realized it was pretty messed up to lie to her friends for so long, and didn't get the courage to admit it to her friends at the end. They were a bit concerned when she then went home with me...
Needless to say we also had a fantastic night once home too.
Not only the moment itself was really magical, but throughout this week I clearly saw that it significantly improved the situation. There hasn't been a single evening where we didn't spend time together (instead of just being on our respective phones/laptops by ourselves) and had a lot of fun doing do. I non-stop get the urge to flirt with her, she feels loved again, the butterflies are back!
I realize this post isn't really a question, but I hope my story can inspire some that are in the same situation I was in and can try that out too. It really felt like a reset of our attraction to one another, so if you're the playful kind and need such reset, try it out!
Also, I'd love getting your advice on things I could do in the future to show my love to her. I have level 1 autism and even though I love her with all my heart, I struggle to express it in ways she will understand. I really want her to feel loved, because I love her so much. I also thought about making surprises, but flowers and chocolates tend to get repetitive... I want your advice!