r/love

How do I end my friendship with my guy best friend

TL;DR I want to end a friendship with my guy best friend

So I have a guy best friend, have been close for 7 years.

7 years ago he told me he had feelings for me. I told him I didn’t. So we ended up staying friends and were very close. During the 7 years he has had 2 or 3 serious relationships.

I have always been scared of emotional intimacy and falling in love. So for me, I messed around and had a good time. He knew falling in love was my biggest fear.

I grew up, and decided that I wanted to stop messing around with boys and focus on my career and myself for a few years. Then focus on getting over my fear of love and start dating. No idea what I would’ve done in a few years to get over the fear, but hay that was the plan.

Anyway. Life had other plans and I met my boyfriend 5 months in my “few years of focus” plan. And we’ll got over my fear.

Anyway, before my boyfriend and I got together, we had an extremely vulnerable conversation just chatting about our past. Anyway when he told me stuff I remember thinking for days “I have a heart to protect”.

Right, back to my guy best friend. The way he spoke to me was very soft and intimate, not sexual. It is very different to other male friends (I work in a male dominated industry, so I do have a few guy friends but I’m tend to gravitate being closer to girls). I never really noticed the intimacy we had until I fell in love.

It got to a point staying friends with him just felt wrong. It felt extremely disrespectful towards my boyfriend. So I stopped talking to the guy best friend and tried to slowly cut ties with him.

Recently. He has been messaging me and I have been ignoring them (he has used 3 platforms) Anyway a few days ago he asked if everything was ok and if I want to “get food” with him. I just replied to him and added a line saying “I can’t catch up with tou anymore and I hope life treats you well :)”

Idk if that was the best thing to say. But I can’t explain it. It’s just that during our friendship he always crossed a line that I never noticed till I fell in love. And now i in a way feel allergic to the friendship. My boyfriend never told me to stop talking to him. And I haven’t even told my boyfriend about this.

Anyway. Guy best friend hasn’t replied to my message idk if he will. But in case if he does. How do I tell him this. He has had feelings for me, I think he still may from the way he talks to me. He isn’t a bad person, but I just can’t carry on with the friendship as it just feels wrong, disrespectful towards my boyfriend.

Edit: I didn’t mention this earlier. But since people don’t fully understand my stance. Guy best friend has mentioned a few times over the years that he still likes me, usually when he is single. I always said I never felt anything back but I do only see him as a very good friend. And I did for many years. I stopped talking to him properly about a year ago. He and a girlfriend at the time. Anyway, he usually would come closer to me when he was single. He has been messaging me for a few months now. Said he missed me in one message as well. I appreciate that I was in the wrong and I should’ve ended the friendship with a little more detail. But I don’t feel comfortable in it anymore, and I feel it’s disrespectful.

heey, im 23M and trust me im not hitting on anyone and also not in the mood for that. but im curious if women exist who have never been in a relationship. i feel like now with my age everyone is and has been in one.

EDIT: obv ik there are some but my question is more why did it never work out for you? i feel like in this time women have it easier than men to be in one. and also i have also never been in one.

In so many of my past relationships, it felt like the beginning was the absolute pinnacle of it all and then it slowly faded into some grey version of that original beautiful promise of love. It was almost like I fell in love with that beginning version of the love I was given and tried desperately to reignite that at any turn.

In my current relationship, we've now been together for almost a year and it keeps getting better and better. In my past relationships I've heard "well of course we talked all the time back then, now we don't have anything to talk about" and just less effort and love in general. But now in my current relationship it just continues getting MORE loving, committed, thoughtful, intense... Somehow! I feel like I struck the lottery, really. I thought I was just stuck in this loop of being tricked in the beginning (not necessarily by the other person, but even by myself for believing things could stay that good), and I'd just have to eventually settle. But now I see that it really can just keep getting better. I'm so thankful for that.

I wanted to come on here and wanted to appreciate and brag on my girlfriend cause I can’t help it. We been dating for over a year and people say the “honeymoon” stage should be over but nope it’s. Not it’s there alive and kicking. She is so caring, loving, thoughtful, and insanely smart. She does so many cute things that I can’t even handle from her smile to how her eyes smile when as she smiles. The way she looks at me so lovingly. Also she is one tough cookie that never gives up. She has drive she has passion and stands up for what she believes in. She a little fiery lady and I absolutely love it. I tease her a tiny bit to spin her up a tiny bit just so I can see it. And no kidding feel like I hit the jackpot with her with how much we have in common especially the core things which is huge for the both of us. I never thought I could love someone this much. But here I am loving her with so much passion and want it to keep going no matter what even in the rough waters. She is my love my partner my gorgeous lady my everything. Don’t think I could ever be well suited for anyone else but her ❤️

I don’t call her it all the time but if I call her any name it’s usually this. Is this socially acceptable as a mid 30s couple? I didn’t choose it but it comes naturally to me. I guess I wonder how common it is and would others find it strange?

M22, Never had a gf (but I've been played before), my current life is just gym, career, nerdy stuff, volunteering in orgs and repeat. (tldr a wannabe 40k Salamander)

Given my circumstances women who approached me made it clear they only wanted me for my father's money or what I can do for them in exchange for sexual favors. I declined, my father taught me to be better than this. I live in a small town where my family is known so it's not like I can hide until I leave (which I plan to, I wanna go international) but after everything that happened.

Either way, I'm not letting go of my 'first kiss at the altar' rule because it saved me from a narcissistic avoidant who tried to lovebomb me, nor do I want kids nor be a sole provider of a family so unlikely I'll ever be loved:

What does it feel like to have your feelings reciprocated?

To be that couple dancing in the rain, or proposing at a restaurant?

How does it feel to be able to be vulnerable to someone who isn't related or like a sibling to you?

How can you learn to be so open after being heartbroken and used by someone else?

Do you fear the chance you might transfer the hurt of your past? Why did you continue the relationship anyway?

How do you not get tired and continue to love one another and choose each other everyday?

How does it feel to not have to travel alone?

What made you decide to take that unfavorable chance with your SO?

Was it all worth it? Or are happy ever afters just fairy tales kids were taught to believe?

Okay so I really just need to get off my chest how indubitably certain I feel as if the girl I love and our relationship has only been growing stronger and stronger by the day, and if all relationships are like this.

People always speak of the concept of a "honey moon phase" in fact earlier on a couple months ago one of my close friends of mine directly warned me to be careful and not expect the spark to last forever, speaking of how him and his lover underwent a phase where they lost some interest in one another, and have kinda just accepted that is the fact.

However I feel like his advice has had absolutely zero application to me, I still feel just as excited to talk to her as when I first met her, our conversations are just as exciting if not even more exciting and I remember how my friend spoke of running out of conversation yet it seems that we never run out of things to talk about. Literally she's like having a best friend and a lover in one its AMAZING 🤩.

He will still say something like "oh give it another 6 months then we'll see etc.." but like BRO IM GIVING IT TIME AND IT'S ONLY GETTING BETTER WDYMMMMMMM??????

Every moment I have with her is a blessing, I think about every conversation and interaction we have all day, I can't fathom how fortunate I am to even be able to speak to such royalty as her, how blessed I am to have her, I feel like I'm resting on a mountain of gold (she's the gold, actually no shes Worth more than the gold because you cant put a price on her boundless love 💕).

I love her so fucking much it's insane.

My heart is full to the brim with only her, well and also my love for hagendaz ice cream but that's unrelated. (If you haven't tried hagendaz ice cream then you need to close this post ASAP and try it out IMMEDIATELY OMFD), okay I'm getting wayyy to off topic.

ANYWAYS,

this did get me thinking though, are most relationships like this? I know the obvious answer is probably not but like then it begs the question to what extent is this the case for couples, does anyone have any sort of experiences they'd like to share? Any thoughts, opinions holla at me.

Thank you mysterious strangers on the Internet.

Just to remind you Incase nobody has said this to you today, you are loved, whether you know it or not you are certainly loved ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

25F here. This month marks one year with my boyfriend, 25M, and I genuinely cannot believe how much life can change in one year.

The funny thing is, before dating him, I thought love would feel overwhelming, dramatic, or uncertain. Instead, loving him mostly feels calm. Like finding a person who somehow fits into your life so naturally that you stop questioning things and start building with them.

This year was everything. Trips together, long drives, airport pickups, random food runs at midnight, cuddling after exhausting days, stupid fights, making up five minutes later, deep conversations about life and business, inside jokes that would make zero sense to anyone else, and the kind of comfort where silence also feels full.

We were close friends before we started dating, and honestly I think that’s still my favorite part of us. Even after all the romance and attraction, he’s still the first person I want to tell everything to. He understands me even when I struggle to explain myself properly. He gives me one practical piece of advice and suddenly my overthinking calms down.

I got to live with him for almost three months this year in Dubai, and that changed something in me. Love stopped feeling like dates and special occasions. It became waking up beside someone, stealing blankets, annoying him while he worked, waiting for him to come home, watching random nonsense together on YouTube, and sleeping peacefully knowing someone is beside you.

I think that’s when he became “home” to me.

And honestly, one thing I love deeply about us is how easy intimacy feels with him. Not just physically, but emotionally too. We talk openly about desires, boundaries, fantasies, comfort, and what makes us feel loved. There’s no awkwardness, no shame, no pretending. We explore things together, laugh together, communicate properly, take our time, and genuinely enjoy each other in every sense. I think that level of confidence and comfort only comes when there’s a lot of trust, understanding, attraction, and emotional safety between two people.

He’s genuinely the most attractive man I’ve ever come across, and hopefully he’d say the same about me too.

And when we’re together, it genuinely feels like it’s just us. Somewhere along the way, we stopped letting outside opinions define our relationship. We created boundaries, protected what we have, and kept choosing each other first.

I think we were made for each other in the weirdest, most beautiful way possible. Our ambitions, our curiosity, our love for travel, conversations, growth, business ideas, chaos, intimacy, and the way we experience life somehow align so naturally.

And I’m so ridiculously proud of him. He’s ambitious in a way that inspires everyone around him. Watching someone build their life with so much discipline and passion while still loving deeply is honestly one of the most attractive things ever.

We’ve had our difficult moments too. We communicate differently, fight differently, process emotions differently. There were moments this year where we both had to unlearn ego and learn partnership instead. But somehow every hard conversation only made me understand him more.

I used to think love was just a feeling. Now I think love is a choice you keep making daily. In patience, in effort, in honesty, in support, in staying.

And somewhere between all the chaos and comfort, I found my person.

I just feel very grateful today.

🧿🤍

I have never loved anyone like I love her. She feels perfect for me. Her smile, laugh, hair, eyes, soft skin, she’s just so beautiful to me. She’s all I want, my lover, my best friend, my angel. She sings, plays piano, works, studies, she’s incredibly smart, and even with everything she has going on she still makes time for me. She loves me even with all my flaws. Every time she speaks, it feels as though I’m at peace.

Yesterday I was making dinner and randomly started thinking about her and began crying. I cried while cooking, cried while eating, all because of how deeply I love this girl. I cried the night before too, and I’m even emotional writing this now. I feel unbelievably lucky to have her in my life. She deserves the world, and I’ll spend my life trying to become the kind of man worthy of her love.

Does anyone else ever feel this way about their partner?

Me (46 f) him (46 m) we’ve been together for 18yrs married for 7.
We have our issues and like most people could probably do with some therapy but all that aside I have a good one.
He’s the first one to check on how I’m doing. He gets me treats randomly. He’s never forgotten a birthday, anniversary, Xmas, Mother’s Day. He encourages me to try new things and maintain my hobbies. Though he isn’t an extrovert he encourages me to see my friend and is a sport when I drag him with me.
He’s the best dad around. I can’t imagine a better one for our kiddo. He’s taking care of his mom and is unfailingly kind to my mother. He’s always come to my defense when I’ve needed it and he hold me accountable on my bs. I know there are days I wouldn’t have made it without him in my life. We don’t really post to fb or anywhere as he’s got a job that is not great for that and my friends are probably sick of hearing about how great he is. So here I am in the wild blue yonder of Reddit telling the void. Thanks for reading!

Hi, this is a bragging about my bf post. I'm (25) getting more into him (26m) every day. he absolutely spoils me, he's such a gentleman, and our sex life is amazing. I've never been with a man so kinky and I had no idea I loved it so much. plus he's a sweetheart to my cats. he does everything right. it's crazy how happy I am. is this what a relationship is supposed to be?????

He’s M/25 ,I’m F/22 so we don’t have huge age gap
We’ve been only talking for 1week.
I want to be very upfront with you I’m not falling into the bs this guys doing as u just don’t believe him not one bit. So we started talking last week conversation was dry over text but once taking in the phone it was a good conversation.
Now this guy doesn’t like that far from me. Roughly an 1-1hr in a half.
As the days go by the conversation seems to constantly get shifted to sexual topics like on purpose. Not me starting it but him constantly gotta drift to that way. The first day he ask if we can exclusively talk as he doesn’t want to check out his other options , but to me that seems like a red flag. Because most men now days are liars and would say anything to get what they truly want. Want him saying that I just took it with a grain of salt cause I don’t believe that. I could only just hope he’s exclusively talking to me.

But anyways. He literally call me “babe”, says he misses me all the time, how he’s excited to meet me. I’m his future wife and he’s choosing me and what not. All the love bombing bs.
And we haven’t met yet. He does works a demanding and long hour type job which he video chats with me and I see him working. But I feel if you are excited to see someone you’ll find some day out of the week to a least take them out on a date.
But he just works and works and no plans made yet.
He says I’m his gf ALREADY and that he love me 🤨. I don’t know how to respond to that besides keep reminding him WE HAVEN’T MET IN PERSON YET!!!.
I do believe he’s highly sexual motivated and don’t really love me or whatever. I do think he’s trying to love bomb me, I do think he’s excited to meet me but not end too much of a rush to see me because he’s trying to get my guard down early so if he makes sexual advances at me on the first date I’ll be ok with that because “he’s my bf not just a RANDOM man I’m on a date with”

I’m giving him a chance to plan a date and see how things go before blocking him as I do like him though. I just don’t trust him or trust his motives.

What do y’all think?

[supprimé]

My boyfriend and I like to write to each other. He mails me poems he’s written, I leave little love notes for him to find, I make art/drawings for him, etc.

We share Spotify links to songs throughout the day that make us think of one another, but there is one song in particular I heard that just really resonated for me. The lyrics in particular. I would just share the link like I usually do, but I want this song to be set apart from the others we’ve shared - especially the words.

I’m thinking of writing the lyrics out on a piece of paper, folding it up, and leaving it at his house for him to find when I’m not there.

So i need ketchup with basically any fried food like fish & chips, onion rings, steak, whatever. It’s a MUST for me. My bf knows this, so every time after we order, he’ll make sure i have ketchup before the food even arrives :))

i also have a huge sweet tooth, and he’ll always ask if i want dessert! The cute part is that he doesn’t even really like desserts, but he’ll still share one with me because he knows i usually won’t order dessert unless someone’s eating it with me. On our first few dates, he ordered a whole slice of chocolate cake for me and i finished the whole thing by myself TT which was honestly DIABOLICAL because he didn’t want any, and at that time he didn’t know i’d actually enjoy it more if he shared half with me HAHAHA

So i am M23, my girlfriend 24 cheated on me thrice, first two were might not be considered cheating in today’s generation. let me tell everything from starting.

so i met a girl a year ago in some coaching institution of defence, there she approached me and asked me out directly she was such a beautiful girl with good sense of humour i liked her too, since i didn’t had any good experience with any women till then i enjoyed her company. She was literally everything i needed ( everything she told me about her). and importantly the first one with whom i had a relationship with intimacy. She was my first.

but this wasn’t true, not at all. until i found out first that she was still talking to her ex and a secret long distance boyfriend. i was shattered when i first time saw in her phone. My heart was paining i made a decision to go from her life forever. i cried, i shouted alone i was literally broken, but then she came up with all her care for me, all her drama, all her past trauma, all her fine excuses, the biggest one were her TEARS. she was crying, and made me to forgive her and made me stay.

apart from this she was really so receptive to every men, she have given access to many men from her friend group. I was the insecure guy, who was possessive. I was trying to accept everything but had a trauma in the past but i was still learning to not have any insecurity at all.

so the second time again after that exam happened which we were preparing we went out to eat something, she mistakenly gave her phone to me and out of no where a call was coming from an unknown number, i answered and guess what “another so called men” some other guy, she was cheating on him to me or maybe vice versa. same shit happened again, this time i was destroyed i literally gave my everything to her for the sake of her i was trying to broaden my thinking, my capacity to increase my understanding. But at the back of me, she was video calling him, making his dick hard lmao. I couldn’t even imagine those freaking 4 days where i literally criedddd just cried (yes men do cry), but again she managed to start everything again with her crying and promise techniques, in-fact i was so mad, so madly in love with this freaking women that made me believe all in her again and that’s really hazardous.

third time, so this is of today and THE most painful one, so she keep on telling me everyday that she miss me, love me, etc So we made a plan out and went to some place. i had her phone and that was risky though, before that for the context we had a fight over a few guys whom i saw in her profile and told her not to get close with them because i am not getting a good vibe from them, she gave explanations bla bla but anyway i saw one of the guys calling her and found him in the locked chats of her phone, my god that feeling my hands were shivering, i couldn’t stand holding the phone i literally just fell in panic. There was a guy who was her boyfriend and she literally fucked that guy recently. I fucking cried so badly i asked her to leave i talked i did many things which are unbelievable. i called the guy and asked him to meet me with her we met, and she chose him over me in front of me. And the time i heard those words i was killed, i was dead from inside, i couldn’t speak, i can’t even see anyone properly i am so dead i am still crying, i have no one literally no one jisko i could share my anything. So ranting here.

despite all this there were many lies, more incidents that is being called micro cheating now a days. i somehow accepted everything. I know people will call me idiot. but all of that was only for the sake of love, for the of my first s*x. But now i am shivering, devastated, dead, cannot ask anyone anything. maybe i can’t live with all these, they are haunting me, tearing my skin my heart, i hate me for what i have become, i want to cryyyy so louddd, please i need a psychiatrist a therapist to live.

and yes just a one question to girls, WHY? what do you get from all of this, i mean WHAT????

Two people I care about deeply (my mom and my partner) have told me that my love sometimes feels “invisible” to them. That really stuck with me, because I never want to hurt the people I love just because I don’t express it in a way they can easily see.

I think I show love mostly through talking, saying how I feel, checking in, and telling people I care about them. But I’ve been told that it doesn’t always come across the way I intend it to, and I honestly don’t know what I’m missing or how to improve.

I’m not trying to change who I am, I just want to understand how to make my love more visible and easier for others to feel.

If anyone has gone through something similar or has advice on how to learn this, I’d really appreciate hearing it.

I love my fiancée so much. She is the most amazing woman I've ever met and I knew I wanted to marry her on our first date. We have a genuinely great connection and relationship.

I would love to spend my life with her, making her happy. But I'm starting to think I won't be able to, and it breaks my heart. At the same time... when you love someone, sometimes you have to let them go, right?

We're long distance, and for different reasons (visa, job market, economy) I can't see a real path to us being together. We've both said we want to move toward each other, but it's been almost two years and nothing has been decided. I haven't seen much effort from her side, and honestly, while I've done some things (researching visas, applying to jobs), I haven't made much progress either, for reasons largely outside my control.

I proposed a few months ago and I regret it. Her family keeps asking when we're getting married, but no one is asking about or helping with the actual LDR situation. I also realize now that proposing was a mistake on my part: I thought marriage might help with the visa situation (it won't), and I had a small, simple ceremony in mind while she had something very different in her head. I should have talked with her first... that's on me.

Before her, I was in a long relationship and stayed too long. I regretted that. I don't want to repeat the same pattern. I dont want to make her lose her time because I truly love her.

Has anyone been through something similar?

I have realized that my idea of love is unhealthy.
I love genuinely deeply. I won’t cheat. You can see my phone at anytime. Have my location marked. I take note of what your likes and dislikes are. I’ll remember the snacks you enjoy and pick them up for you, bake you cookies, cakes, muffins because sugar is life. I’ll kiss you all over, now you smell like my strawberry lip balm. I will make you homemade letters, buy you little trinkets that reminded me of you. Leave loving sticky notes in random places for you… Rub your aching back, tracing the words “I love you” over and over. It’s so fun going on spontaneous little dates with you, watching shows together we’ve watched a million times already, feeling the warmth of your body wrapped up with mine, late night walks, holding your hand. Blushing, feeling so at peace and safe with you. Thinking I’m dreaming and questioning if you’re even real. How lucky I am… My soul mate my person ..
My intentions are so pure but I’ve realized that’s not the norm. It’s not realistic. Monogamy is difficult for so many even though they agreed and had an understanding until death do us part. Not only the commitment but the treatment matters. After a while they always get bored. I’m not shiny and new anymore. The excitement is gone. Then I find out you’ve been looking at other women online. You text me less. The affection dies down. You don’t want to spend much quality time with me anymore. No more thoughtful efforts toward me. You see, I could never do that. When I’m in love I’m in love. You’re all I need, all I want. I’m so giddy and happy when you’re with me. 100 years could pass and I’ll love you all the same if not more. No. Like actually, there will never be a moment I grow tired of you. How could I? God. I really do love like the stupid corny romance movies. That’s just me. I’ve always been so pathetically devoted. My heart could burst I’m filled with so much passion. But I thought that’s what being in love naturally was… Why is no one capable of loving just like me? Maybe I’m delusional but yeah. Idk. I’ve wondered if maybe I’m autistic or something? Like I don’t know why I feel so deeply and am so loyal when that’s not a trait anyone seems to have. But when you’re not getting the same back from them, it feels like hell. Why do relationships have to be so hard? Isn’t it simple to enjoy someone? To say sorry after an argument and try to move forward? To respect one another’s boundaries? Because you love each other… Why would I want to hurt my best friend… Why did you hurt me? 💔 I’m so sad.