All the love I ever poured into the world returned to me in one person.
This will probably be long because I can talk about my man forever. For some context, I spent my teenage years and early 20s in unhealthy relationships. I always shrugged it off and just thought 'this is how it's going to be'. Since my example of love growing up was pretty similar and my parents had a toxic relationship.
When I turned 28, I ended a relationship I had been in for almost 5 years and pretty much burnt my entire life to the ground to start over. I started therapy to unpack past traumas and work on myself and the toxic habits I'd picked up along the way. By age 30, I was completely content with life. And with being single. I had absolutely zero interest in any romance. I was enjoying my personal time, I'd had children in my previous relationship and I really valued the little time I got for myself since becoming a single mum. I declined dates from men who I found attractive and had a lot going for them because I simply wasn't interested.
Until I met my current boyfriend.
I was always the first to roll my eyes at anyone who used the phrase 'when you know, you know.' Until it happened, and I knew.
This man is the answer to all the prayers I made when I was younger. Every blown out birthday candle, every shooting star, every dandelion seed and eyelash that I blew out into the wind came back to me in this one person and I've never felt so lucky in love.
He is my home. It took us two months into the relationship to even watch a 30 minute episode of something on the TV because every moment we spent together was just us laughing, talking, kissing, getting to know one another so deeply that we didn't even think to turn on the TV at any point. We regularly end up staying awake until 5am just putting the world to rights, being intimate, giggling like children and loving each other so wholly. He has a demanding job with a difficult shift pattern, and we still both make as much time for each other as we can. I am so proud of him and how hard he works. Whenever he comes home we love on each other like he's been away for months. I still do find myself enjoying my time alone when it arises, but I miss him during this time and could happily spend 25/8 with him. I never have to be anything but 100% myself with him. And he loves all of me. I feel so safe, so accepted and so comforted by him. His presence alone makes me feel completely content.
I am utterly convinced that I will find him and love him in every single lifetime, and that we've already spent 100 together before. I can't really find the words to fully explain how wonderful it feels to do life with him. From the moment we met, I knew I was where I was supposed to be. He has welcomed my children with open arms. It feels so surreal to watch this man step up and provide a safe, loving home with me for my children that aren't biologically his. They absolutely adore him and they light up whenever he walks into the room, whether he's just popped to the toilet, or he's coming home from work or running some errands, they run into his arms and he welcomes them with a grin on his face. Every. Single. Time.
I could cry from joy every time I think about how lucky me and my children are.
Until the last star burns into oblivion, my heart will be his. Even after that, actually. He is my forever and after. I strongly believe that the work I put into myself, my children and my life needed to be done before I could accept the love I deserved from this man. We met each other when the timing was right and I am so privileged to be able to spend the rest of my life loving him and being loved by him.