u/Any_Dimension_768

Hi everyone! I’m back after over a month. I had to step away for a bit because my cat passed away really suddenly while I was working on a lorebook, and I honestly just didn't have the heart to write or play for a while.

But I’m back now, and I finally finished a new companion (not published yet) and a lorebook! I’ve been testing them with the new response instructions using Arita, and wow, they work so well. Huge thanks to the staff and devs for keeping Saucepan so amazing while I was gone. It’s really good to be back 🩷

My kitty passed away suddenly four hours ago. I am completely destroyed. It's really hard to connect with my spirituality when something this devastating happens.

She was only 5 years old. She had absolutely no symptoms. She was a healthy kitty, always running around. She ate well, drank water, and her litter box habits were completely normal. She was perfectly fine, and then, in an instant, she wasn't. In just a matter of seconds, she fell to the floor, had a seizure, and she was gone.

Honestly, I’m broken. I can't stop crying.

I've been practicing paganism for almost two years now. I worship Brigid and Aphrodite. Since I'm in the Southern Hemisphere, it's still Samhain here right now. I haven't been able to study or practice much lately due to my dysthymia. I’ve been carrying a lot of guilt for not cleansing my altars right when the season changed, though I finally managed to do it about a week and a half ago.

Anyway, I don't know what to do to honor my kitty. Her name is Kiki. She's still here with us at home, and tomorrow she will be taken to be cremated.

Please tell me what I can do to honor her spirit. I'm in so much pain right now and I currently can't find the strength to be spiritual, but I hope to find it once the shock wears off a little. Years ago, when my other kitten passed away, he was sick and we knew it was coming. We had time to prepare. This was so sudden, it feels impossible to process.

I feel an overwhelming amount of guilt, even though I know she had the best toys, the best food, and all of our love. I'm blaming myself for not being with her 24/7. I'm blaming myself for everything and beyond.

I'm sorry if my English isn't perfect. I would be deeply grateful for any advice, rituals, or comforting words you can share.