AITAH for not being able to forgive my almost girlfriends past?
TLDR I (18) met a girl (18f) in early february and we started talking and seeing each other casually. Things moved fairly quickly, and after our first date she ended up crashing at my place. Nothing dirty happened, but we slept in the same bed.
I later found out that she had kissed her ex the week after our first time sleeping together. I knew about the kiss at the time, and even though it hurt a bit, I forgave it because we werent officially together yet. After that, things continued normally for a while.
Then at a mutual friends birthday party a couple of weeks later, things became more complicated. Her ex showed up, and there was tension between us. At that same party, while she was drunk, she revealed something I didn’t know at the time that the day after we had slept together, she had also slept with her ex and had the act with him. I had only known about the kiss before that, so this changed my perception of what had happened, and really hurt my feelings.
After this things between us slowed down a lot and we didnt really talk properly for a couple of weeks. Later in March she came back and apologized. She said she had been in a very emotionally unstable period in her life and that she had “messed everything up,” but that she genuinely wanted things with me. From there we slowly started rebuilding things, and since April–May things have become very serious. We now act like a couple, sleep over at each other’s places multiple times a week, and there has been talk about becoming official. And i ofcourse made sure, that she still isnt seeing her ex.
For context about her past she was in a serious relationship with her first boyfriend (the ex) for about a year. He cheated on her multiple times, which naturally affected her trust. After that, she got into another relationship that she describes as very toxic and emotionally draining, where she felt mistreated and stuck. After those relationships, she went through a long unstable period where she would go back and forth with her first ex, including a phase where they had something casual again before she eventually realized it wasn’t healthy. She also had a short talking stage with another guy in January, where she later said she was mostly just looking for attention and physical comfort while she was struggling emotionally.
Because of all this, she has told me she wasn’t in a good place mentally during the period when she was also seeing me, and that she handled things poorly and regrets it.She also still occasionally talks to her ex because he is currently dealing with depression, which makes me uncomfortable even though I understand their history is complicated. Right now, she seems fully invested in me and wants a serious relationship, and her friends which i also am friends with confirms this. but I still struggle with what happened in the beginning and whether I can fully trust her moving forward.