AITAH for refusing to retrieve an item during my parenting time exchange?
Link to OG post***
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITH/s/KxPAsIDf7p
I 28F and my coparent 30m have a child together and have a court ordered parenting time schedule .
There has been a history of disagreements and problems surrounding my parenting time, so I try to be careful about how I handle exchanges and communication.
On Saturday, I picked up our child for my weekend. Shortly after I left, my coparent texted me asking me to make sure our child didn’t take anything with him. I told him our child had a small, inexpensive personal accessory item with him. He asked me to take it away from him, so I did.
After pick up we went directly to visit a relative, and I forgot the item at their house .
The following day I’m on my way to drop our child off to my coparent and 30 minutes before our normal exchange time they ask me if I could drop off 30 minutes later than normal or they could come pick them up . I explained that I was already on my way, but wouldn’t mind turning around, and asked they pick him up if so.
Once coparent arrived, our child got in the car and just moments later, got out of the car completely distraught,walking towards me crying saying coparent said he needed the item.
I went over to the car and explained that the item had been left at the relative’s house and that I would get it the following weekend as it was not something our child needed throughout the week .
coparent was not satisfied with that solution and told me I needed to go get it now. The relative lives in a neighboring state about a 30-minute drive from my house and 10 minutes from where coparent lives. I told him I was not going back to retrieve it that night , as it was a small, inexpensive item that again , wasn’t necessary for our child to have throughout the week .
I did offer that If he wanted it tonight, he was more than welcome to go get it as the relative lives much closer to him .
He then told me I was being defiant and accused me of being unwilling to coparent.
By that point, our child was crying and holding onto me extremely upset.
He repeatedly asked me if he was still going to be able to see me the following weekend .
Coparent has a history of interfering with my parenting time which is why our child was so unsure if he would be “allowed” to see me so I reassured him that I would be there.
There were several people present who witnessed the exchange and who agree with me, but dealing with someone like this makes you feel like you’re going crazy.
So Reddit -
AITA for refusing to go retrieve the item that night after offing alternative solutions or should I have went to please coparent?
\*\*\****Edit***\*\*
So a lot of people have been asking what the item is and I I was trying to maintain some sort of anonymity. As much as possible anyway, but it is relevant to the story, so the item is a clip on shoe light. Literally just clips on to the shoe laces or tongue of the shoe.
Other context that I think is relevant is the “relative” is not a relative of mine, but fathers. That’s a story within itself, but I feel it’s important for our child to maintain that relationship and I make sure to take him to go see them weekly .