I'm destanykitten on YouTube. I haven't gotten a message yet, will that be later since it's pre recorded? I'm so happy because I've had a really crappy week and making Denver meow and purr like that gave me such a laugh!!
Thank you Teresa and Denver for the good vibes during rough weeks!
Pic is my cat Garfield keeping me company in my lap while I do embroidery
Dinner: fettuccine Alfredo with sourdough garlic bread & tomatoes
I really need an older woman’s advice, I don’t have a mom and I feel lost what to do.
I 27F have been married to Alex (27M) for 2 months, dating for 2 years). We bought a big house in the fall. My sister & her bf, and my dad live with us. They pay half of the bills on the house and contribute to cleaning & cooking (this is important).
Alex handles all the bills. But 2 days ago I got a call from the bank saying the mortgage has not been paid in 3 months. I had a spidey sense there was more to the story. After some investigating I found out the electric & gas have not been paid in 6 months. The car insurance hasn’t been paid in 3 months.
Meaning by July 1st, we would owe roughly $17,000 in total in bills. I crashed out. Alex wasn’t home but I called him and he explained his new job wasn’t paying enough so that’s why he fell behind on bills.
4 months ago Alex moved across the country to pursue a job his Dad’s friend gave him. But he recently quit (cause it didn’t pay well & he missed home) and he moved back home last week. He’s now searching for a job.
So I called the only person I knew could help. A person I don’t have a great relationship with. My mother in law. I cried on the phone to her and she sent $15k immediately. I covered the remaining $3k with all the money in my account. She advised me to take over the bills because “this is his one major flaw”. I told her I would pay her back, and she said no worries it’s part of his inheritance.
I asked Alex where the money my family was sending him. Our mortgage is $5k, my family sends him $2k along with half of the utilities . He says he was using it to catch up on the bills because before I discovered it, it was worse.
We had a “power outage” last month, turns out it was the electric company turning off the power. Alex told me it took half of his paycheck to turn it back on.
We’re okay for July. But my income (I’m a semi successful influencer) is inconsistent. I was able to save us this month, but I’m not sure about the next.
He’s applying to be a patrol officer and wants to do landscaping on the side but idk. I feel betrayed and sad. I also don’t trust him. Me and his mom swooped in to save him, and now his plate is lighter and mine is heavier.
I don’t know if I should just forgive this and settle but I always thought I’d be living a better life with a better man. Is this just part of married life? He’s great in every other aspect. He does have a habit of hiding things (usually small before this) and I always have to investigate to find out the truth.
Has anyone dealt with something like this before? I wish I had my mom to tell me what to do
Edit: i make roughly between 6-13k a month as an influencer, it swings a lot. I’m also a DIY influencer so having a large house to do renovations helps my content a ton. We made an agreement went we first started dating that he would have a stable job to pay the base bills.
No kids, just twos dogs.
Edit 2: a lot of people are asking why I didn’t help with bills. My dad was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer 8 months ago, so I took a step back from content to care take for him. Alex assured me he could handle the bills alone while I do.
My first month back to work was May where I made 6k, and June I made 9k. I’m now of course helping with bills.
I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Legal-Importance7999
Originally posted to r/offmychest
My best friend is selling the project car we built together to take his girlfriend to Bali. It's registered in his name
Thanks to u/queenlegolas & u/NumbAsHell1 for suggesting this BoRU
Original Post (rareddit): June 15, 2026
I am absolutely losing my mind right now and I just need to vent before I do something I permanently regret.
For the past eight months, my best friend and I have been building a project car in his garage. It started as a completely stripped, beat-up chassis. I am the one with the mechanical knowledge, so I did 90% of the actual heavy lifting —building the engine, sorting the wiring, installing the suspension, everything. On top of that, I funded about 80% of the parts because he was short on cash but promised we’d split the profit 50/50 when we flipped it, or just keep it as a track toy.
Because it was his house and his garage, we registered the chassis in his name just to make the initial towing and paperwork easier. Huge mistake. Huge.
The build is finally finished. It looks incredible, sounds insane, and the performance is top-tier. Yesterday, he calls me out of nowhere and tells me a buyer offered him a massive cash deal for it, and he accepted.
I was hyped at first, thinking about our payout. Then he drops the bomb: he’s keeping the entire profit because he wants to take his girlfriend on a luxury vacation to Bali next month. He literally told me, "Well, it’s my garage and my name on the papers, so legally it’s my car. I’ll give you $500 for your trouble."
$500. I spent thousands on the turbo setup, the ECU (editor's note: electronic control unit), and hundreds of hours of manual labor. I literally have grease permanently stained under my fingernails from building his vacation fund.
I don't even know what to do. Legally, I know I’m probably screwed because there’s no written contract, just text messages. I feel completely betrayed by someone I considered a brother.
Relevant Comments
Commenter 1: If you have receipts and text messages stating the money was to be split, you can take him to small claims court. This doesn't require a lawyer or anything and is usually pretty quick. If he doesn't show up, they rule in your favor. He's a terrible friend and I hope after this is all said and done, you never speak to him again. > > OOP: Thank you so much for explaining that small claims doesn't need a lawyer, that actually makes me feel way less overwhelmed. I definitely have the texts where we talked about splitting the profits 50/50 when we finished the build. I'm going to start organizing all the receipts tonight. And yeah, after this, he is dead to me > >> Commenter 2: Be thorough! Make a packet of all the receipts and communications with a table of contents to make it easy to peruse.
Commenter 3: I would definitely let him know that you are planning to seek legal action. Before buying his tickets to Bali you recommend he consults with an attorney because he will owe you a lot more than he realizes.
> OOP: That’s a brilliant point about warning him before he drops all that cash on tickets. I'm honestly terrified of the confrontation because he thinks he completely holds all the cards right now, but maybe mentioning a legal consultation will make him sweat a bit
Commenter 4: A build like that should be documented with videos, Facebook posts.
If you spent money, get the receipts.
Sue him. That's real money and it will be taken seriously.
> OOP: I actually do have a ton of videos and photos on my phone from when we were doing the engine swap, and I paid for the turbo kit on my card, so the bank statements are there. But can I actually sue someone if the car registration is entirely in his name? I'm just so stressed out man, I don't even know how small claims court works😞. >> >> Commenter 5: You absolutely can and have a strong case based on the evidence you have. >> >> Especially if you can ensnare him with some text messages "hey man, I get you wanna take your girl to Bali, but I spent way more than this on the car and rebuild and we agreed to split it 50/50". >> >> Depending on what he says, he can absolutely sewer himself by confirming what you said trying to apologize. >> >> Very shitty friend, but at least you’ll get your money back. A lot of shitty friendships cost people a lot more and they get back a lot less. >>> >>> OOP: That is an incredibly smart move. I actually haven't replied to his last text yet because I was too angry, so I am going to word my next text exactly like this. If I can get him to text back and explicitly admit that we agreed to 50/50, that gives me actual leverage. Thank you so much, I'm literally typing it out to him now
Commenter 6: The parts are yours - he never paid for them. Tell him either to give you a fair share, your parts back, or you'll take him to court.
Small claims is super easy - just paperwork at the local courthouse. In most states you don't even need a lawyer, but it might help you if the value is high enough to justify. We had to take our wedding photographer to small claims, and it was magically resolved after she received a summons.
> OOP: The thought of taking my parts back definitely crossed my mind, but the car is locked in his garage, and I don't want to catch a breaking and entering charge on top of losing my money. Hearing your story about the wedding photographer magically fixing things after a summons gives me a lot of hope though. I'm going to look into the local small claims paperwork first thing in the morning.
Commenter 7: Small claims. Then get a new friend. Also, I draft a bill for your hours put into it at a fair/standard rate to include in your claim.
> OOP: Drafting a bill for my manual labor hours is an incredible idea. If I count up every weekend and late night I spent rebuilding the top end and doing the wiring, even at a basic hourly rate, it easily totals thousands. Adding that to the receipts for the parts should make the claim airtight. Thank you so much for this
Update #1: June 16, 2026 (next day)
Update: My best friend is selling the project car we built together to take his girlfriend to Bali. The trap is sprung
First of all, I just want to say a massive thank you to everyone who commented on my last post, and to the people who flooded my chat requests. I’ve been reading through the messages silently—including some actual legal perspectives, but my inbox is a bit overwhelmed right now so I couldn't reply to everyone individually. I felt completely broken yesterday, but seeing so many people in my corner giving solid advice gave me the backbone to actually do something about this.
A few of you suggested that I shouldn't confront him aggressively, but instead text him calmly to try and get him to admit to our 50/50 agreement in writing so I’d have evidence for small claims court.
Well... it worked. Better than I could have imagined.
Last night, I sent him a text. I kept my emotions completely out of it and wrote:
"Hey man, I’m trying to stay calm here. I know the registration is in your name, but we spent 8 months building this together and explicitly agreed to split the profit 50/50. Dropping $500 on me after I built the engine and funded the turbo setup is completely unfair."
He took the bait immediately. He called me twice, but I let it go to voicemail because I wanted everything in text. When he realized I wasn’t answering, he texted back:
"Bro, plans change. I need the cash for the Bali trip with Jess. Yeah, we said 50/50 at the start, but legally it’s my car. Be happy I’m even giving you $500, you don't have a contract anyway so you can’t do anything."
He literally admitted to the agreement while trying to flex that I couldn't stop him.
Once I had that screenshot saved and backed up, I sent my final reply:
"I have the receipts for every single aftermarket part, bank statements proving I bought them, and now I have your text admitting we agreed to split the profit 50/50. I am drafting an itemized bill for my labor hours at a standard shop rate. If you don't freeze the sale and give me my fair share, I am filing a summons for small claims court first thing on Monday. See you there."
He hasn't replied since, but his girlfriend just blocked me on Instagram, so I know he's absolutely panicking right now.
I’m currently organizing all my receipts and printing out the text thread. I will keep you guys posted on whether he folds or if we are actually going to court, but for now, the trap is sprung!
Relevant Comments
Commenter 1: Doing everything via text and ignoring calls was a big brain move. Well done.
> OOP: Thanks. I knew if I picked up the phone, it would just be a shouting match and I’d lose my leverage. Had to get it in writing.🙏🏾.
Commenter 2: Great to see this update. It'd be heartbreaking enough to see all the hard work just disappear without enjoying the car first, then to throw in that he'd rather toss a friend away for a vacation. That sucks man, good luck with this process and fingers crossed it gets sorted soon! I guess at the least you figured out what kind of person he is sooner
> OOP: Thanks. Honestly, that’s the part that stings the most. We spent late nights bleeding brakes, tracking down wiring gremlins, and just talking about how insane it would sound when it finally boosted. To watch him toss all of that away just to flex on a vacation is wild to me. But you're right, better to know who he really is now than later
Commenter 3: Hey just make sure you're super organized and prepared. This sounds like a slam dunk for you, and judges love when someone acts like they care about respecting the courts time.
> OOP: Definitely. I’m currently printing out every single bank statement, receipt, and the exact text thread so it's a completely organized stack. Not trying to waste any time.
Commenter 4: Now his gf is mad at you because you didn't let her bf steal the money from you.
Maybe the idea to sell the car was hers.
If he needs to sell a car to afford vacations, may e it's not a good idea of going.
> OOP: Honestly, wouldn't surprise me if she was whispering in his ear about it. The fact that she blocked me the second I threatened court speaks volumes
Commenter 5: you did good, but I’m really sorry that you’re having to deal with all of this and navigate the legal system right after losing a friend.
> OOP: Thank you, it really is surreal. Trying to navigate the legal side while processing the betrayal is exhausting, but I have to protect myself.
Commenter 6: Very eager to learn how much exactly you spent (parts and labor) on this project that your ex-friend is only offering you $500 for.
> OOP: I'm still organizing the final stack of receipts for Monday, but just the turbo setup and ECU alone ran into the thousands, plus hundreds of hours of heavy manual labor. $500 doesn't even cover a fraction of it.
Final Update: June 18, 2026 (two days later)
I honestly didn’t expect my life to become a multi-part drama series on Reddit, but after the insane amount of support on my last two posts, I owe you guys the final conclusion.
To recap: I texted my "best friend" using the advice here, trapped him into admitting our agreement on the project car build, and threatened him with small claims court and an itemized bill for my labor.
Yesterday morning, the pressure finally broke him.
I woke up to five missed calls from his dad. It turns out his dad saw the text thread on his phone (or my ex-friend cracked under pressure and confessed, I'm not entirely sure). His dad is a really hardworking, honest guy, and he was absolutely mortified by what his son tried to do to me.
About an hour later, my ex-friend called me. He sounded completely defeated, no more arrogant flexing, no more "legally it's my car" attitude. He apologized, though it sounded like his parents forced him to do it. Because of the text trap, he knew he was completely cornered. Instead of trying to fight it or sticking to that insulting $500 offer, he agreed that a 50/50 split wasn't fair since I funded almost everything. We settled on an 80/20 split in my favor to cover the turbo setup, all my parts receipts, and the manual labor hours I put in.
We met up at a local bank a few hours ago. I watched the cashier verify the cash for my 80% share, deposited it straight into my account, and walked out.
His trip to Bali with Jess is still happening, but it’s going to be a lot more budget-friendly now that he isn't funding it with my hard work and parts.
As we left the bank, he tried to ask if we were "good." I just looked at him and said, "We’re even on the car, but the friendship is done. Good luck in Bali." Then I walked away and blocked his number.
I lost a brother, which hurts, but I kept my money, my dignity, and my peace of mind. I genuinely couldn’t have done this without the absolute legends in this subreddit who gave me the legal strategy and the courage to stand up for myself.
The money is safe in the bank, the toxic weight is out of my life, and this chapter is officially closed. Thank you all so much!! ❤️.
Concluding Comments from OOP
> OOP: Looking back at everything, what’s honestly so crazy to me is the contrast of human nature. While someone I called a brother for a decade was busy trying to screw me over, thousands of total strangers on the internet were stepping up to protect me for absolutely nothing in return. It’s truly beautiful how people who don't even know my name are willing to give their time, legal advice, and genuine support just to help a stranger stand his ground. You guys showed me more loyalty in 24 hours than he did in ten years. Thank you all, seriously.
DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP
Hi I hope Denver and Teresa see this! I am a long term listener, I pay for patreon and always look forward to your episodes every Tuesday, friday, and sunday! I love what you do and your podcast is my absolute favorite!
Now for the reason I am writing this.... I am 26 f and i have been seeing this guy whos also 26! Its only been a couple of weeks but sparks were flying like crazy! We matched on tinder originally and he invited me to a concert the next day after just a little bit of chatting. I was feeling pretty spontaneous which isnt normal for me at all so I decided what the heck and I went! We met at a brewery and sat and talked for a while before and hit it off so of course we went to the concert. The biggest thing I noticed was that it felt comfortable. He was asking me all kinds of questions about myself and I was asking him some too. We talked for hours, he paid for everything even when I offered he refused. It was a really good first date. He was a perfect gentleman and after we parted ways he texted me the 2nd he got home. Told me how much fun he had, how I looked good, and that we need to "do that again" I agreed and we spent the next like 5 or 6 days texting, staying up tell 4am at times talking about life. He has a busy busy work schedule and then I had plans on his day off so we really couldnt see each other tell finally I just invited him over to watch movies and talk more after i was hanging with my friends. We spent the whole night together and it was a great time. He was super sweet and kind and seemed to have a great time too because we even hung out the next night. We got food somewhere where there was live music, sat and talked for a while and then went on a long walk tell the sun was set and it was dark, it was nice. Then the next day he invited me over to use his parents hot tub with him. He was watching their house while they were out of town. I came and we spent another great evening together. We just talk for hours and hours about deep things and we laugh and listen to music and all that. It was a great night. All 3 nights were so good and it felt like we had a really good connection. And things were going great until monday this week. So we had plans again for tuesday after he got off work. We figured we can hang out at my place and stuff... well monday he texted me saying all this stuff about not having time or money to put effort into this and how he likes me so much which makes it harder for him but that he doesnt have the time or energy that I deserve. He said he isnt really ready to date anyone and that he still wants to see me but isnt sure where it will end up. Even said "I just wish we couldve met a year from now, I feel id have more of my crap together" which I understand. After hanging out I did figure out some things are like ya you dont have it figured out. But I was okay with it because I liked him i wanted to see where it went and I mean I dont exactly have my life figured out either. But he said all this monday and we decided we'd still hang out and it felt he was treating me the same. Like still trying to hang out. We hung out tuesday and he stayed tell the afternoon Wednesday. He left his wallet so I had to go take it to him on thursday he was working his side job with his dad and asked if i could bring it to him and he'll give me free food. He also even asked if i can grab a redbull for him "just use the money in my wallet". So like this feels so couply to me... and then when I got there he told me he'd be able to hang out for a little if i waited 10 to 15 mins so I decided to chill. I also met his dad while I was there. But ya he came and sat with me for a while and we talked a bit. I eventually went back home. Things were still good. But then we made plans for yesterday morning. We were gonna drive to the next state over to get some 420 type things since its not sold where I live. Its about an hour drive there and back. The biggest thing was he didnt touch me at all affectionately like the whole drive and even when he went to drop me back off I asked if he wanted to a hug goodbye and it felt weird. The nights we spent together (which by this point there were 3 evenings we spent cuddling up close and i know hes very affectionate in that way). So it just felt so weird and I cant tell if hes pulling away, playing with my feelings, using me for sexual reasons (cause we have been doing those things and its been extremely good😅). Or just not interested but doesnt know how to get rid of me? Idk I'm so confused tho and its affected me so negatively this week. I feel like theres been so many weird highs and lows and its only been 2 and a half weeks.. hes confusing me because he tells me how hes not ready for anything serious but then treated me the exact same way that feels super serious but then yesterday happened and idk what to think. Is he just trying to keep me around temporarily tell he does find someone he wants to be with? I'm so lost if im being honest... i dont usually like men. Like i get asked out on plenty of dates and usually theyre just meh so when I met a guy who made me feel so calm, comfortable, and relaxed who also is kind and has similar views as me in life and such I just felt so smitten. Now I fear my feelings are completely fading because of this lack of clarity. I just feel like even tho its been only 2 and a half weeks you should still know if you want it to go anywhere or not. You arent just confused right? Why did he even ask me to go to the concert with him in the first place if he doesn't have the time or money to spend on dating? Why does he keep continuing conversations and finding time to hang out still? Sorry this turned super long Im just so confused! Should I end things or could he really be just in a weird spot in life and needs time to figure it out? But also again why are you on dating apps then? 😅 I can answer any questions you may have i hope I put in enough details but theres way more I can say but its already too long lol
(Background)
Am I the AH for not returning a phone gifted by a friend? I’m a 25-year-old female who befriended a 27-year-old male neighbor about two years ago. After an incident in my neighborhood, I asked him for surveillance footage just for help and that is how he introduced himself. Despite my lack of interest, he pursued a relationship and try to get me interested in him, which grew his friendship with my brother 30M a tactic to get to me.
Throughout the years, he frequently gifted me things, which I initially rejected to avoid misunderstandings. On my birthday, he gave me a personalized bag, and I confirmed with him that it was a genuine gift. I’ve also given him small tokens of appreciation. Despite this, he consistently expressed interest in a romantic relationship, which I declined, reminding him of my platonic feelings. This often led to visible upset and questions about our outings, but I reiterated my friendship-only stance.
(Story begins here)
Early in the year, my phone was destroyed, and I visited the shop several times to repair it. The last time, he suggested I get a new phone, offering to cover it or let me pay for the repair and risk further issues. I agreed to wait, and he promised it as a gift. He gave me a wrapped phone in my favorite color with a girly case, skincare, and wished me a happy birthday. Three months later, we argued because he made inappropriate nasty comments with him claiming Christians are brainwashed or that I’m not align with my spiritual side or other differences that are already known as to why I wouldn’t be compatibly interested in him. When he gets this way, I end up distancing myself until he crawls back apologizing profusely.
This has happened many times . This time around this argument made me to now exchange words back to him. Which led to a fallout he requested for my phone back and disclosed that it’s not paid off and it’s on his plan, which I refused and said this was a gift .I wasn’t told my gift was based off of the condition on whether I am going to potentially accept your feelings for me because I asked you if you’re expecting anything back since then he’s involved my father and brother and has even gotten his sister to threaten to fight me over the phone in which I explained this is a gift. I even have a video of the surprise.
He claims he’s gonna take me to court for it called me a B and said he was gonna win cause it’s under his name. I told him it doesn’t matter which name or means a gift is under if there is no agreement to loan or borrow I am not entitled to have to. Most he can do is end the payment plan and let me take over .By the way, he still texting me telling me how much he hates me only for hours later for him to apologize and says how much he loves me back-and-forth and the only reason why he had demanded three months later was cause he saw my communication with him the window after not accepting his last and final straw. Am I the AH for keeping the gift or legally required to return it.