r/ThreadTalkPodcast

So the overall response I got to the last post was very unexpected and I appreciate everyone's input. This has been a weird situation for everyone involved.

I wanted to clarify something about the pool first. It's not inflatable, it's one of those frame pools that you set up and then fill up. I'd say it's around 15ft round, at least big enough to fit 3 teenagers and two adults all at once. And like I said before, the only reason we set it up in C's parents' backyard is that my backyard isn't that big, so the pool would be crossing into our neighbor's yard. J and his dad live in a townhouse. And C's family lives in a big house with at least 2 acres of open land around them. Obviously, they have the most room. I couldn't believe the number of people who suggested draining the pool or slicing the pool open. I get the idea, but that thing cost the boys like over $400 altogether.

Since I last posted, Pete and his friends have still hung out in the hot tub. Also, because people were curious, it wasn't on most of the time so they still cooled off. They liked to leave it off and then turn it on when they got too cold. The ironic thing is it's been raining this past week, so neither the pool or the hot tub has been used much. But the effects of 'poolgate' are still in effect as Pete and J were talking about how they could use it without having to deal with C's parents (who still never let them near it). The one thing nobody has done yet is call the police, because what's the point? There was no contract signed, the boys paid in cash, and we all mutually agreed to set it up in C's backyard, so legally they're all clear to do what they want with it, especially because they used their water to fill it up. Ethically, they're assholes, but legally, the police can't do anything if they claimed that they bought it and we have no real proof that it's mutually owned.

J's dad, who was angrier than I thought he was, actually ended up making several posts on Nextdoor and Facebook basically outing C's parents for stealing the pool. The Facebook post got some pretty good attention for like a few days before he took it down, but suffice to say, a lot of our mutuals know about it now. I got a lot of messages asking about Pete, especially from the people he worked for. I didn't put in any of my own thoughts because to be honest, I thought this was all behind us with the hot tub. But the more I thought about it, the more I understood that a hot tub wasn't enough. The boys worked hard for that pool, and they at least deserve their money back if they couldn't use it.

But then, on Friday, Pete told me that C let him know that the previous night, he had to help his dad drain and dismantle the pool. It was only used sporadically and not for more than a month. C had to help his dad throw the whole pool IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD DUMPSTER! We had to go over and check it out ourselves to believe it. Saturday afternoon, with J and his dad's help, all four of us managed to pull everything out of the dumpster and we brought it back to J's house. They, as mentioned, don't have the room to set the pool up in their backyard, but they do have a shed, and J's dad is letting them store it there for the time being. J's dad has a pickup truck, so it wasn't that hard to transport it. C had no idea, and neither did his parents, but we both did get some questioning texts asking if we 'took' the pool. Neither of us denied it. Pete hasn't been able to talk to C ever since because, I assume, his phone's been taken away and he's been occupied with other things. That's my way of saying, of course he was grounded.

Understandably, EVERYONE is pissed now. J's dad and I are pissed, especially that those guys just up and tried to throw away something these boys earned by working. The boys are pissed that not only have they been prevented from using the pool, except for C, but their hard work has been literally thrown away because his parents don't want to be responsible for it. THE PARENTS are beyond pissed that they were publicly shamed and that their son snitched on them and we got to the pool before the dump truck did. And yes, we did get questions by neighbors when we were digging in the trash. We told them the truth. The worst part is, because the weather's getting colder, there's no point in trying to set the pool up anywhere else even if we could. Thankfully, they still have the hot tub.

So now, as it should've been from the beginning, J's dad and I are gonna sit down and talk with C's parents about what compelled them to try to get rid of the pool like that instead of just letting the boys use the thing THEY bought, and also find out exactly what the issue is behind this whole situation. I have a feeling it's not gonna go well. If they won't at least refund the boys, which we're gonna demand, then we're both taking them to small claims, which we both know we might get screwed with considering they can afford good lawyers and neither of us can. All we want is $300 split between Pete and J, and then this whole thing will be behind us. It sucks that Pete and C's friendship may be over after this, but it isn't either of their fault.

UPDATE: https://www.reddit.com/r/Redditor_Updates/s/qTxlKL5Sdq

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I’m 29F, and my husband is 32M. We’ve been married for six years, together for eight.

About three months ago, I found out my husband had been cheating on me with a woman from his gym. Not just once, either. I found months of texts, hotel reservations, pictures, and even messages where he told her he was “basically single” and was only staying married because divorcing me would be “too complicated.”

I confronted him that night.

He cried. He swore it was a mistake. He said he loved me and that he would end it immediately.

I pretended to believe him.

Instead, I started planning.

And before everyone says, “Just leave him,” I know. I absolutely could have. But I wanted him to feel the kind of betrayal I felt.

For the next six weeks, I acted like everything was normal.

I cooked dinner. I kissed him goodbye before work. I told him I loved him. I even encouraged him to go to the gym.

Meanwhile, I quietly gathered every piece of evidence I could find.

Then I discovered something even worse.

My husband had been telling everyone that I was the one cheating.

Apparently, he had been preparing to make me look like the villain if we divorced. He had screenshots of innocent conversations with male coworkers taken completely out of context, and he had apparently been telling his friends that I was “crazy” and “probably sleeping around.”

That was when I decided I was done playing defense.

My husband had been planning a huge birthday party for himself. He invited around 40 people, including his parents, siblings, coworkers, friends, and, apparently, his mistress.

He didn't know I knew she was coming.

So I let the party happen.

Everything was normal.

Cake. Drinks. Music. Everyone laughing.

Then, right before dinner, I stood up and said I had a surprise for my husband.

I connected my phone to the television.

He smiled.

Then the first screenshot appeared.

His entire face changed.

I played the messages.

Then the hotel reservations.

Then the pictures.

Then the messages where he called himself “basically single.”

The room went completely silent.

His mistress stood up and tried to leave.

His mother asked who she was.

And that's when I played the final recording.

It was a conversation between my husband and his best friend where he bragged about cheating and said he planned to blame everything on me during the divorce.

My husband started screaming at me.

He called me insane.

He told everyone I had humiliated him.

I looked at him and said:

“You spent months trying to destroy my reputation so you could walk away looking innocent. I just made sure everyone knew the truth.”

Then I handed him an envelope.

Inside were divorce papers.

But that wasn't the biggest surprise.

A week earlier, I had discovered that the house we lived in was actually inherited by me from my grandmother before we got married. My husband had somehow convinced himself that because we had been married for six years, he automatically owned half of it.

He didn't.

I had already spoken to an attorney.

I told him he had 30 days to move out.

He went completely ballistic.

His family is now divided. Some say I had every right to expose him. Others say I deliberately humiliated him and could have handled the divorce privately.

My sister says I went too far.

My best friend says I gave him exactly what he deserved.

My husband says I'm cruel and that cheating doesn't justify destroying someone's life.

I honestly don't know anymore.

So, Reddit...

AITA for waiting until my cheating husband's birthday party, exposing everything in front of everyone he knew, and then divorcing him?

Read this if you enjoy petty girl drama.

TLDR: this selfish woman canceled our friend’s bachelorette party out of spite, and now we are rebooking everything way too late and can’t get our old reservations back. 😡

I am co-MOH for a friend’s upcoming wedding, and the other MOH, Clara, is a lovely and proactive woman who is handling the bookings/financials/logistics for the bachelorette, which is a 3 day cruise.

Back in April we started a bridesmaid group chat to plan the cruise for October. One bridesmaid, Nina, lives in a different city and declined the trip, saying she can’t afford to travel for it. No problem! The rest of us proceed to pick a date, book the cruise, settle up payment with Clara, and sign ourselves up for various extras (stuff like brunch on the cruise), and I order matching T shirts, which was my treat to the group.

3 weeks later, Nina gets FOMO and decides she wants to join us, but she can’t do it on the weekend we already booked. So she asks the whole group of 6 women if we could change the date. We all honesty consider this, because Nina is an in-law of the bride and we know the bride would want her there. But, the weekend Nina requested doesn’t work for several of the others. Clara tells Nina we can’t change the date at this point. That’s when the drama begins (Nina starts a grudge against Clara about this, but we didn’t know at this point how mad she was).

Nina decides to make it work and adds herself to our cruise booking. Doing so adds a room (adjoining) and causes us to reshuffle sleeping arrangements, but we are all fine with this and excited she can come. Plus we all get some money back since we are splitting costs evenly. The process to make these changes is coordinated by Clara, who spends a lot of time on rebooking and cost calculations. I also order Nina the matching T shirt which has a custom design for each girl, and spend a few days customizing Nina’s design to her specifications.

Well it turns out, Nina has been on a lot of cruises and has loyalty points, so she then offers to take over reservations so she can use her loyalty status. We say OK, cool. But this involves more coordination with Clara, who hands certain things over to Nina. Nina puts the main room in her name, uses that room to book a brunch reservation and a few special entertainment events under her name too. I can see that Clara is getting whiplash from plan changes and info overload from Nina. Clara’s financial spreadsheet is starting to look like a choose your own adventure. But it’s all good because things are moving forward, we have our bookings, and we even saved some money. So, we all exhale, knowing that all the big stuff is planned.

The group chat pivots to the fun stuff. Clara had suggested (and we all agreed prior to Nina being added back in) that we will have a theme night called “Into the Sunset” where we all get dressy in sunset colors (anything from pink to orange to gold, even brown or bronze or navy blue) and the bride wears white with gold accents. We also planned to split the cost for a few bridal decorations for the room. Nina suggested we all wear a certain Amazon skirt with our matching T shirt, but that idea was vetoed (tbh the bride hated it), and we also told her we want to stay budget-conscious and not go crazy on required matching outfits. So everyone can wear whatever bottoms they want with the custom shirt. Clara delivered this message. Nina felt shot down and apparently added this to her growing grudge, deciding that Clara hates her.

Last week, we get a text out of the blue. It’s Nina, saying “please welcome my bestie Maria who will be joining us on the cruise and staying in our room.” I’m like hold up?? I talk to the bride, and she’s very hurt. She feels like Nina is just there to experience another cruise vacation, not to celebrate her big day. Her inviting Maria solidified that feeling. Nina had asked the bride if she could bring her buddy for moral support because she felt Clara doesn’t like her so she wants an ally. Bride was so taken aback, she said yes in the moment, but feels really weird about it. But since she said yes and it was her final call, we accept Maria into the group with open arms. No reason to assume the worst about someone we’ve never met. Maybe she will be a fun new friend? Looking on the bright side, I order Maria a custom T shirt and Clara recalculates and sends another refund to each of us.

The cruise is 8 weeks away now. In the group chat, Nina voices she can’t afford to buy an outfit for the Into the Sunset theme night. Note that this theme night was Clara’s idea. Clara responds that it can be any range of outfits, the color palette is pretty broad, doesn’t have to be a dress, could be pants or a cute sweater or anything. Clara is a huge thrifter so she suggests thrift stores having something cool.

Well that set Nina off and she starts blowing up my phone on the side complaining about Clara being stubborn and insulting. She says the thrift store comment was uncalled for. I tell her there’s no pressure to dress on theme if she can’t swing it. Then Nina says Clara has been difficult and can’t take suggestions since day 1 when she “refused to change the date of the cruise for her.” I remind Nina that several of us couldn’t make that date work, myself included, and we were locked in already. Nina brings up the suggested Amazon skirts saying she was shot down due to people’s budgets, but “Clara has no problem asking everyone to dress on her theme.” I was not going to engage with bashing Clara on the side, so I shut it down with a gentle “let’s just all move forward and have a great time together, supporting the bride because that’s what we’re here for” to which Nina did not reply.

Three days later, we get the news that our cruise has been fully canceled by Nina. Since everything was rebooked in Nina’s name, when she canceled it, all of the brunches and event reservations also were canceled. Nina did not notify us in the group thread, Clara, or myself. No explanation or excuse or gracious remark. Just a big fat fuck you. She just disappeared from the plans and took her bookings with her.

Now Clara is REBOOKING the entire cruise for us, back down to the original group, no more Nina or her sidekick Maria. The kicker is that now all those brunch and event reservations are sold out, so we’re too late to do all the things we had planned for the bride.

Since we’re back down to 6 girls, we all owe more money to Clara again, which I’m totally fine with because I feel like Nina would have been difficult on the cruise. Bullet dodged. But I’m honestly floored that a person who NONE OF US OTHER BRIDESMAIDS HAVE EVER MET could conjure up so much perceived drama and then punish the whole group for it.

I feel like I’ve been punked.

Note: We are women in our 30s and 40s, if you can believe this.

EDIT for clarification: I wrote that Nina is an in-law to the bride, and some commenters assumed she’s the groom’s relative. Not the case. Nina is married to someone on the bride’s side of the family.

The groom is being rightfully supportive and indignant about this, and even offered to treat us all to a special dinner since we didn’t get the special brunch on the cruise. He thinks the bride should not be so soft with Nina, but there’s a LOT of context I won’t get into here, other family trauma, and the bride is non-confrontational for many valid reasons of her own. I can’t and wouldn’t ask her to uninvite Nina to the wedding. Nina’s husband, kids, and others close to them are close family, and it would mean a ripple effect on all of them. Just trust when I say it’s complicated, and it’s easy to say “uninvite this bitch!” if you haven’t walked in the bride’s shoes. So that’s not an option, but I do agree with the sentiments and appreciate all the validation on here! I came to the right sub, it would seem!

I’ve been friends with Emily for about 4 years. We met during the lowest points of our lives and have supported each other ever since. There have been ups and downs and moments of distance but I have supported her through everything and she has done the same for me. About 2 years into our friendship she came into a lot of money, I mean fuck you money, for reasons I will not share but trust me it was well deserved and I’m so proud and happy for her. Even so I always insisted on trading off who pays for dinner or buying my own meals just to really make a point that I don’t want to EVER take advantage of her and her kindness. I take her out for her birthday, try to guide her away from greedy people, help her with moving, and overall just try to be a good friend as I am two years older than her.

Anyways I’m a tired and broke grad student and it was just my birthday. She told me that she wanted to take me on a trip to visit one of the spots in our favorite TV show. This was too much and I immediately said we could go out to the club or for a nice dinner instead in our own city. She insisted that this is something she wanted to do for me and it’s a birthday gift. I was really conflicted because I have watched people use her in action and it makes my blood boil and I’ve always had a hard time accepting gifts or doing things for myself.

Well my boyfriend, family, and Emily convinced me to accept the trip and it was amazing. We had the greatest time and are literally the best travel buddies as we are both go with the flow and super weird together in the best of ways. I have no idea how to thank her or what to do to show her how grateful I am that she would do this for me, wha should I do to show my gratitude??

So my question is how do I respectively ask him to come with me to try on and buy new clothes. As the title says, yesterday we went to the dog park and as we are both watching my dog I looked over and he has two quarter sized holes in his shorts, I pointed them out and asked something like " You know your shorts have some big holes in them, yeah?" he responded saying that he knew but it didnt matter. I asked why he went out in them if he knew they had holes. He asked why it even mattered and that I wear tight leggings that show off more than these two hole do. I dropped it, kinda frustrated. We have been dating for 7 months and just recently it has started to irk me how he walk out of the house, like what he is wearing. I have offered many time to go to the thrift store and find better fitting clothes. His style unless is stated clearly we are wearing something nice, is usually joggers that are to short on him so he sags his pants, but they are also too big on him and if he has his phone keys and wallet in his pockets he is constantly fighting with gravity who is trying to pants him. I am not trying to ask him to wear nice jeans every time we go out but some clothes that fit him and don't have big holes in them, I can tell a lot of his clothes are from when he was younger or hand me downs, due to ridiculously tight shirt and shorts that put my leggings to shame. I don't have a specific problem with the items he wears like graphic tees or short and joggers but I just wish he had some that fit and weren't damaged. I should also note he is very sensitive about his looks and I think that is why I ignore it or drop it quickly, I am afraid to hurt his feelings. So how do I respectfully ask him to come with me or by himself to find clothes that fit and aren't damaged.

TL;DR My boyfriend wears clothes that don't fit and are damaged how do I ask him to get new clothes?

Back story- I(32f) and my sister (36) are eachothers only siblings. We have never been super close but we always know we’re there for each other. I got married back in 2021 and didn’t ask her to be my MOH because for 1, we were never close and 2, she was in the downward spiral of an addition. I still had her as a bridesmaid because I’m not heartless.
She ended up pulling me aside and voicing how offended she was that her only sister wouldn’t have her be the MOH and if she wasn’t the MOH she didn’t even want to attend.

So I bit the bullet and took one for the team to keep the peace during my own wedding and upgraded her to MOH, but kept my original too because I knew my sister was incapable of handling or planning anything- which is the job of a MOH- not just to stand up there and look cute the day of. She ended up bailing on my bachelorette to detox from drugs and her addict boyfriend caused a scene at my wedding. I never held a grudge, Idc we had a good time.

Anyway fast forward to now, she’s engaged(different guy) off the drugs, and getting married this weekend. Even when she got engaged I only found out because my mom told me. She literally doesn’t talk to me.
When I brought up being her maid of honor to my mom, my mom told me she wasn’t having a wedding party. Whatever, weird move on her part since she made such a huge deal about mine but I accepted it. I went to the bridal shower because my mom asked me to, everything has been fine but this whole time my sister hasn’t made any attempt to involve me in anything.
Now, three days before the wedding I just found out she expects me to be there all day with her the day of and get ready with her?? I also have a daughter I had planned to get ready who my sister stated she does not want there getting ready ahead of time with us. This has all been communicated to our MOM! Not once has my sister reached out or set expectations or asked me to be there and just assumed i would be. Am i wrong here? I thought I would arrive with my family as a guest because thats been the tone she set early on even when I was asking what color dress to get so family photos look nice.

Anyway lots of rambling, AITAH??
Should I go??
Help.

My husband (21M) and I (23F) recently got married with just under 300 people. My parents and my husband’s dad and stepmom paid for the wedding.
We had 300 cupcakes in four different flavors for our guests, plus a separate cheesecake specifically for my husband and me to cut. My husband doesn’t like regular cake but absolutely loves cheesecake, so a family friend who makes amazing cheesecakes specially made one for us as a wedding gift. They only make them for special occasions, so this was especially meaningful to us, and my husband was really looking forward to having it at our wedding. For context, this family friend has also sold some of their cheesecakes for anywhere from $200–$400, so this isn’t something that would necessarily be cheap or easy to replace.
The cheesecake was on its own individual table in the dessert area, separate from the cupcakes. The table had wheels so it could be wheeled out to the dance floor for our scheduled cake cutting. Our engraved wedding utensils were sitting next to it.
The venue workers were supposed to bring it out about 10–15 minutes before we were scheduled to cut the cake. While my husband and I were finishing dinner at the head table, our wedding planner came over and told us that one of our guests had cut into our cheesecake.
That guest was my husband’s great-uncle.
He cut himself a piece using our engraved utensils and started eating it. Then other guests started taking pieces too. Our wedding planner realized what was happening and got after the venue staff because they hadn’t noticed or stopped it sooner. By the time we were actually able to do our cake cutting, only about a quarter of the cheesecake was left. My husband and I got a few bites before it was gone.
When it was brought up to his great-uncle afterward, he didn’t apologize or seem particularly bothered. He basically laughed and said something along the lines of, “Well, it was good.”
I honestly don’t understand how you see 300 cupcakes available for guests and decide to cut into the one cheesecake sitting separately on its own table, especially when the engraved wedding utensils were literally right next to it.
I wouldn’t say this ruined our wedding. We had an amazing wedding, and obviously there are much more important things than dessert. But it was our one and only wedding, and this cheesecake was specially made for us as a wedding gift because it was my husband’s favorite dessert. We also can’t just go to a store and replace it.
My husband thinks we should just let it go. His response is basically, “That’s just how that side of the family is.”
I, however, feel differently. I think people sometimes continue acting like assholes because everyone around them accepts it as “that’s just how they are.”
So, WIBTA if I actually mailed his great-uncle an invoice for the cheesecake?
I’m not trying to claim that he “ruined” our wedding or put a dollar amount on the sentimental value. I was thinking of invoicing him for what a comparable cheesecake would have cost, since he essentially took most of something that was specially made for us. Would that be justified, or would sending an actual invoice just make me an asshole too?

EDIT: Adding some context since there seem to be a few misconceptions in the comments.
My husband's great-uncle is in his late 50s/early 60s, and the cheesecake was kept in a refrigerator/cooler in the back until the wedding planner/venue staff brought it out for the cake cutting. It was brought out specifically to be displayed and cut, like a wedding cake. I was busy being the bride and assumed the venue staff had it handled.
The cheesecake was made by an elderly family friend, and there's a very real possibility this was the last cheesecake they will ever make, so it was especially meaningful to us.
The invoice was also more of a joke between my husband and me. We're happily married and aren't actually expecting his uncle to pay it. His mom and stepdad even agreed we should send it and basically said, "That's just how he is."
I think some of the reactions are based on assumptions that weren't part of the original situation, so hopefully this clears up some of the missing context. The venue/planner probably could have handled the cheesecake situation better, and that's fair criticism.

And just to be clear, I’m not the only one who thinks his behavior was inappropriate. My husband and mother-in-law both AGREE with me. My mother-in-law says send the invoice (her uncle) but my husband doesn’t want to cause (potential) family drama.

YALL I’m going to crash out. I love your podcast and all of the stories and you never think something story worthy is going to happen to you until it does so I had to download reddit and tell you guys the most insane fucking thing that happened last night.

I (28 F) have been official with my bf (31 M) for about a 5 months but talking for 8ish. We are both gamers, a little quirky, and his quirkiness is what o admire a lot about him. His friends are equally as weird and I’ve always enjoyed being around them because they’re always putting on fun events like drunk smash bros tournies, PowerPoint nights, making their own board games etc. They are all HUGE Marvel fans and although I haven’t seen ALL of them, I’ve seen the majority of them and love the spiderman movies so I was really excited when Brand New Day came out.

We all decided to dress up and meet as his friends apartment beforehand to eat dinner. We get there and a few of them already seem pretty hammered. I don’t mind but I was a little worried going to a movie theater with hammered people. I get there and they continue to drink and my bf even has a couple of drinks. They were getting a little rowdy and a few of the guys leave us girls in the kitchen while they go in the friends room for a sec. We hear them all just DYING of laughter. Listening in, I hear:

“Wanna see? I’m being so serious”
“You’re not. You’re fucking with me- holy shit you’re serious”
“You gotta do it”
“I’m not doing that”
“Come on”

We were so confused and when they stepped out we asked what was going on. The wife of the guy whose apartment we were at was like “ohhh I think I know what this is about. They do this thing”

I said “what thing”

And the girl laughing said “They think it’s funny to wear diapers to the movies so they don’t have to leave to go piss.”

My jaw was on the floor. Had they done this before? Had my boyfriend done this before when I was at the movies with him?

My boyfriend had claimed that HE hadn’t done it in a long time which is why he was shocked when they showed him their diapers in the room underneath their spiderman costumes. His friend corrected him and said “you literally did this with us for Thunderbolts last year” 😭😭

They were all so hyped up and hyping each other up and it was a weird drunken diaper cult mentality and all of the wives/girlfriends were literally laughing their asses off at their grown men wearing a diaper to the movies so I felt so gaslit into thinking that if I said anything, then I would be seen as the “lame” one.

A little disclaimer: they’re all very social and have a weird banter that sometimes I feel like I don’t have and it leaves me feeling a little left out at some hangouts that we have because I’m a little bit more shy and the newest to the friend group. So I think maybe this also contributed into why I felt like maybe I was the one being lame.

ANYWAYS flash forward to the movies. I thought in my head, okay so they’re wearing diapers for the bit - no way they actually take a leak in them during the movie, right? Lo and behold, not even 20 minutes in, one of the friends does an exaggerated “sigh of relief” to let us all know that he used his diaper. They all start “quiet chuckling.” They all would do similar things like that whenever they peed. One of the wives even got up mid movie and my bf said “bet you wish you had a diaper on right about now.”

Towards the end of the movie I whisper to him, “you’re not actually going to pee yourself right?” And he whispered back that he already had but didn’t make a big deal about it like the others did because he didn’t want to “make me feel uncomfortable”

Now it’s the next day and we both had work so I haven’t seen him today. Maybe the title is misleading because I know I’m not overreacting to the situation itself - but I guess I’m just wondering if it would be overreacting of me to break it off completely. This whole thing left an icky feeling inside of me and I can’t shake it but maybe I just need to talk to him or give it a few more days.

PS: I created reddit just to tell you guys this so my username is just the first thing on my mind when I was making the account