AITH Boyfriend (42M) claimed to be a "social drinker" before we moved in, but now drinks 750ml of whiskey every two days. Am I being gaslit?
I (34F) am a mom of three and work full-time 3rd shift. In January, I finally moved out of a toxic household to start a new life with my boyfriend (42M) of two years. We were so excited for this new beginning, but the day after we moved in, I was in a total-loss car accident. Thankfully, my kids and I were okay.
Fast forward a month: my boyfriend fell, dislocated, and fractured his shoulder. He’s been out of work for three months. I have been trying to be his rock—taking care of him, the house, and working my overnight shifts. But since the injury, a "mask" seems to have slipped.
Before we moved in, he said he was a "social drinker" who had issues in the past but had quit. Now that we live together, he drinks a half 750ml bottle of whiskey and needs to buy a new one every two days. He starts at 8 PM and doesn't stop until 2 AM. I work 3rd shift and need 8 hours of sleep to function and parent. He tries to tell me I should only sleep 5-6 hours because "that's what he does," ignoring the fact that he’s drinking all night and sleeping until noon while I’m providing for the family. When I finally worked up the courage to tell him I was concerned about the volume of his drinking, he completely shifted the blame. He claimed he’s stressed because of my car accident (which happened to me and my kids) and the possibility of surgery.He recently found out he doesn't need surgery, yet the drinking hasn't slowed down.
I love him dearly. He is still helpful around the house with what he can do, and he admitted he feels "helpless" being out of work. But I feel blindsided. I feel like he hid the extent of his problem until I was already moved in and "trapped" by the logistics of the move and my accident.I love him dearly. He is still helpful around the house with what he can do, and he admitted he feels "helpless" being out of work. But I feel blindsided. I feel like he hid the extent of his problem until I was already moved in and "trapped" by the logistics of the move and my accident.
I’m struggling with my own past of shutting down to avoid arguments, but I can’t ignore this. I feel like he’s choosing the bottle over our new life. How do I navigate this i don't wanna come off like as an assehole and make him feel bad, he has admitted that his doctor said he needs to stop drinking the.When does that happen? he doesn't go back to work for another four more months and will need physically therapy. he's the first relationship I've had. Since my last one 4 years ago that resulted in non epileptic seizures and it took me a long time to heal.i've did a lot of soul searching in healing to get to the point where I am today. I just need some advice please this something that I never had to go through when it comes to addiction. any advice is appreciated thank you!