Cutting off a 4 yo friendship
Me (18) and my friend “A” (17/18) have been best friends since our mid-teens. We’re also in a close trio with another friend (“B”).
For years, I thought we were really close, but lately I’ve realized the friendship feels very one-sided. Me and B constantly support A, but she rarely shows up for us.
Because of financial issues with her family, we invite her over for dinner at least once a week, let her stay over whenever she needs, and often pay for her food if we go out. I’m also always the one planning things so she can be included.
The situation that made everything click happened recently when I had to go to the hospital for a very sensitive situation. I couldn’t tell my parents, so I was going alone and was really scared. I asked both A and B if they could come for support.
B was supportive, but A said she “couldn’t afford the train ticket.” The ticket was only about $5, and I knew she’d just gotten her allowance two days earlier. It hurt, but I let it go.
Later, when I was upset about it, she doubled down and claimed she had a doctor’s appointment that day. I later found out that wasn’t true.
After that, instead of apologizing, she stopped talking to me and eventually sent me a long paragraph blaming me. She said I never wanted her there in the first place and she never even acknowledged her mistake.
This also reflects a bigger pattern: we’re in practical group classes together at school and always get assigned together because we’re friends, but she constantly skips, leaves work half-finished, disappears for “breaks” when things get difficult, and leaves us to clean up and finish everything, which affects all our grades, few weeks ago i had terrible pain, i told them i had to leave the class because i could barely stand up (it was related to the hospital visit) she says”if you leave i will leave” and I couldn’t leave our third friend to do our jobs so I stayed, she left us with her work load and lied about being sick few hours after
Looking back, I feel like me and B have been carrying this friendship for years while she takes without giving much back.
I cut her off because I felt abandoned and honestly used.