Possible STI exposure after breakup, recently back with ex and scared
Please be gentle because I’m already anxious and emotional. Someone I was with recently reached out and said they tested positive for chlamydia, so now I’m getting tested and waiting on results. For context, I had come out of a long-term relationship and during the breakup I slept with someone else. I didn’t really want to and felt a lot of pressure in the moment. He had also been drinking, which has added another layer of complicated feelings for me and made me replay everything. I also didn’t ask for a condom, which I keep beating myself up over. I’m recently back with my ex boyfriend now, and part of what hurts is that I genuinely thought I was safe after being in a long relationship.
Another thing I’m struggling with is that if I do end up having it, I feel awful at the thought that I could have unknowingly exposed him. The message I got also left me feeling like it was being implied that it came from me, and I think that’s making me spiral even more because now I’m carrying guilt, fear, shame, and uncertainty all at once. I’m trying not to jump to conclusions or blame anyone, but mentally this has been really hard and I keep replaying everything.
Has anyone gone through something similar? How did you cope with the anxiety, guilt, and uncertainty while waiting? Also me and boyfriend are getting tested and i’m super worried what i’ll do if we both come back positive being that he may have cheated during our long term relationship :/ and how i’ll work through that.